To be angry at DH for quitting his job???

[username12345678]

I am so angry and frustrated. He feels that i am BU and that I should be supportive.
He have his reasons for leaving but in my opinion when you have 3 DC you don't just walk off without having another option.

How does your DH propose you pay the bills and live with no income?

But hang on, if the DH needs to leave for health reasons, he needs to go to his GP and get signed off sick, not resign in such a way as to make himself ineligible for benefits.

Shouldn't OP have done that aswell then?

I think op said she wouldn't be returning to work because of the cost of childcare not because of the operation she needs? It would make sense not to resign from her job until she has used all entitlement to sick leave first though.

Omg, he just had pizza delivered while there is food in the kitchen

So did I.

From some of your replies and the drip-a-thon I'm wondering if this is real. Sorry OP.

Unfortunately its so real.
I wish it wasn't

And to be honest if I were op I would be considering whether her surgery could be postponed unless she gets full pay as sick pay whilst she is off.

I will be having my sick pay even though i am leaving. It's something we agreed on as i am on good term with my employer.
I have been waiting to get the right person to replace me so i can train them before i go.

I think that leaving a job is a family decision. The reasonable thing to do would be to look for another job first.

Op YANBU. You must be frantic about how to pay the bills.

I would reconsider your plan op. Do not give up your job until your dh gets another. Has he said what his plans are/ is he looking for another job?

I'd be livid, I don't have children and I still wouldn't quit my current job without finding another first! I remember growing up my dad hated his job and the only reason he kept going back was because he had children to provide for.

My DH did leave a job due to stress (public transport he got attacked by a drunk passenger). However he did takeover the childcare side of things and got help for his stress. The OP's DH doesn't want to do anything and that is not on. Clearly the OP has health issues that are pretty significant and he may well have made it more difficult to get them treated. He can't abdicate all responsibility in life.

Just last night we were talking about start saving next month as we will have some debts closed by then. And then its this. I will be in debts before finishing the previous ones.
We don't have mortgage we have a huge rent to pay.
We are not entitled for benefits. Not even an option for us.

The OP has chidren to provide for yet was quitting so not really any different.

I don't get why you would have more than one child with a man who doesn't help.

She was quitting because she couldn't afford the childcare, so was going to care for the children herself, how is that even REMOTELY the same?

I'd be bloody furious, you do not walk out on your job with three kids and a sick wife. Only fuckwits and my ex husband do that kind of thing.

I had more than one because i did agree on his terms that i will take care of children while he work. Although i love my work and i never wanted to be a sahm I accepted that for him.
I will be keeping my job and will even go to full time after my operation if he is not working. I would love that but he will need to take over taking care of dcs.
I know he will do it, when i say there is no other option but he will be even more miserable than in his job that he just quit.

I really need to thank everyone for talking to me. Even who felt that i am bu.
I need to talk as at the moment I can't talk to him.
He block himself when he is sad.
By now i did learn to give him some space as talking will only make it worse.

if he isnt dealing with his depression he needs to go back to th gp

its not working -he cant do nothing for work and nothing at home

its not your job to look after dcs theyre his aswell and u should never have agreed to this

Who will look after the DCs whilst you are in hospital and recovering? Not sure how you are so sure you would not be entitled to benefits, unless you are outside of the UK - if you are on a low wage/sick pay and you cannot afford your rent and have 3 children, you will be entitled to some benefits unless there is a strong reason e.g. over the savings threshold, that would preclude you. Whether your DH can claim is another matter, but I'm fairly sure that YOU can.

If he was unhappy at work why didnt he take holiday or time off sick to think about things ?

He could have stayed in work and looked for another job

"He cannot look after children or cook a meal "- why would you have children with someone like this ? He must be lazy or incompetent or cannot be bothered !
It doesnt take much effort to make beans on toast, egg on toast, soup, baked potatoe or heat up a ready meal if you are unable to cook from scratch

I would be angry !

Op. If you have a low income ( which you may well have from now if your dh doesn't find another job soon) you should be entitled to housing benefit and child tax credits. You need to look into those asap as after April 6th you will only be able to claim tax credits for 2 children I think for new claims. If your dh voluntarily walked out of a job he won't get JSA. However if a GP signs him off depressed and unable to work then he may be able to claim ESA ( employment support allowance). Tax credits will initially be based on your joint income for the last tax year and they may award you nil initially. You will then need to ring them back with a new estimate for tax year 2017-18. Obviously if your dh gets another job quickly you will need to let them know to avoid an overpayment.

Username, he needs to learn how to look after the children. Now that he is at home all day, it's the perfect time for him to start. So write down their schedule, pit it up in the kitchen or somewhere, and then tell him what you expect from him, what you expect him to do, and tell him to get on with it. While you're at home too you can drag him along with you so he joins in with you - he can hoover while you do the bathroom, he can change the sheets on your bed while you do the childrens, he puts the washing on, you wash he dries etc.

Don't accept any excuses, and don't let him stonewall you. I bet when he finds he's not sitting on his arse at home he'll miraculously manage to talk to his boss and get his job back.

I'm assuming he pays at least half the childcare? They are his too. Who's looking after them while you're in hospital and recovering after?

Thats my point. He could've looked for another job not leave in a boiling moment.
He didn't do that because he wasn't unhappy every day. Its only when his boss flag something about his work and he doesn't like it. On other days they are joking and i would say friends.

My mum was supposed to come over as he was supposed to be working.
He doesn't mind helping in the house but not cooking nor children.
If he cook he end up having almost everything ready which always results in more expense thats why i cook everyday trying to manage the cash flow.

I think he is used to the idea of " you know how to cook better than me, children are better in your care" my fault for agreeing i know.