To be angry at DH for quitting his job???

[username12345678]

I am so angry and frustrated. He feels that i am BU and that I should be supportive.
He have his reasons for leaving but in my opinion when you have 3 DC you don't just walk off without having another option.

He is not going to find another job easily. Not with his attitude.
I do take his stress into consideration. Thats why i told him to look for something else. I even told him if he would be happy at home i would work full time. But he said he can manage and that I don't need to worry.

I did ask him few times for me to go into full time while he care for dc but its a no no for him. He just can't deal with them.

He can't deal with anything then? Work or at home. I get stress is a nightmare but I think he needs a kick up the butt, there are others depending on him. He can't say it's a no-no. Adult life just isn't like that.

Tell him he's got one month to find a job, in the meantime you'll be looking to. First past the post works, the other works at home.

OP would you even be able to work full time? Won't the medical reasons you mention prevent you working full time, if they are preventing you working part time?

If you are capable of working full time then both of you may have no other option than to pursue this option for a couple of months to give DH a chance to find another job.

I know one of those. The problems he has at work are always everyone else, never him, despite the fact that they happen wherever he works.

So he's not happy to deal with work OR home??

I even told him if he would be happy at home i would work full time

How would that work when you state that you are having to stop work for medical reasons yourself.

Under the circumstances you've described (temperament, refusing to consider other options, look elsewhere, etc) YANBU.

I would be livid.

What on earth are you supposed to do now? He has left you up a creek with no FT income!

He was rude to his boss so i am not sure if he will take him back.
Even for that to happen he will need to speak to him but he would never do that as he feel he doesn't need to.
He need nothing from no one.
No saving so we will be in debts from today

Leaving your almost only income because you have stress or whatever won't feed your children.

Better to leave your job and get yourself well and have like, a little period of you off work - than stay in work and have a full on breakdown.

So let me get this straight. It's okay for you to stop working for health reasons, but not your dh who is suffering from stress? I don't think you have your priorities right at the moment, or there are other problems in the marriage. My household runs on my salary but dh would never ever tell me to stay in a job that was damaging my mental health.

Strongly suggest you take time to calm down then revisit this with your dh when you are a bit more reasonable.

Poor you :-( he sounds like he doesn't give a shit about you or the family, his happiness clearly comes first

Not even sure if he will get Job seekers allowance if he gave up his job voluntarily. Can you temporarily increase your hours for a short while. Do you have a mortgage to pay. You need to look into any tax credits etc that you can claim as quickly as possible. How likely do you think it is that he will find another job soon?

Or he could do all that as he's the one whose quit

*No excuse.

I would be livid, so YANBU*

Sometimes there's a reason. It's not as black and white as 'no excuse'.

My husband left his high powered job one Christmas, not long after the birth of our 3rd DC. He hated his job. I was worried, but I wasn't livid. I tried to understand, as his job was making him miserable. I hope he would do the same for me if the situation was reversed.

We had a small savings account. He went straight out and got a low paid, menial job to help tide us over. I was self employed and so took on more work where I could. We managed, although it wasn't easy and we had to cut back.

He still doesn't earn even half as much as he did in his previous job, and that was 10 years ago. But we are so much happier now than we would have been if he had stayed at that job.

Well yes but if stress is a problem , then that might be stressful for him too Lilac. If I were op I would take control of sorting out benefits just to make sure it was done.

I'd it impacting on his health or is he just pissed off?

They are different things.

My reasons for stopping is that i need to be in hospital for a while then need to recover at home.
The second reason that i am not taking a leave and i am quitting is because i am paying more in childcare than i earn.
He doesn't want and doesn't know how to care for dcs,

Gosh yes, I would be furious. But I have a bee in my bonnet about healthy men who refuse to work. A friend with a schoolaged daughter works like a dog while her DH keeps house and moans about her spending. I don't know how she, or others in a similar position, deal with it. You have my sympathy.

Don't give up your job now until he has something else. One of you needs to be earning. Can you take sick leave for your operation?

Strongly suggest you take time to calm down then revisit this with your dh when you are a bit more reasonable.

Agreed. He must be feeling awful right now. He's just lost his job (he must have felt he had no choice) and now his DW is blaming him.

No saving so we will be in debts from today

I hope to God you didn't say that to him.
And you haven't explained how you offered to work full time when you are stopping work for medical reasons in a couple of months?

Its not the first time probably thats why i am boiling.
So what can i do if he have depression and can't work but doesn't want me to work as he can't cook a meal or care for DCs?
Shall i work at home during the day and then have a night job?

Gosh yes, I would be furious. But I have a bee in my bonnet about healthy men who refuse to work. A friend with a schoolaged daughter works like a dog while her DH keeps house and moans about her spending. I don't know how she, or others in a similar position, deal with it. You have my sympathy.

Do you also have a bee in your bonnett about healthy womem and SAHM aswell then because the only difference between that and your friends situation is the gender of the person at home!

Just seen your answer, sorry.

Yanbu op. Really irresponsible and I would be hopping mad.

No middleclass i said nothing. I just said that he is a grown man and if he think that what he need to do then its his life to sort it out. And he felt that i am being unsupportive.
I know he feel shit right but i just can't bare to look in his face right now.