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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to move

140 replies

oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 12:32

Renting a room. Live in Landlord is super creepy. Extremely germaphobic I'm guessing, gives me regular talks on how to clean (I'm a clean person I know how to do it) tells me to tell my visitors how they should be using the toilet (men have to sit down apparently) and how they should wash their hands, that's weird right?
He hangs around outside my room and waits for me to come out and always has something else to show me how to do (the other day was how to do the washing up). He also just stands outside my room at night, it's very odd. In fairly sure he goes in my room when I'm out even though I lock it.

And all of this I can put up with, but twice now he has locked me IN the house. I can't leave, I'm on the top floor so I can't even hop out of a window. I have places I need to be and I do not like the thought of being locked in somewhere!!

I need to move but without my deposit back I can't afford it. He won't give it back I don't think because I haven't been here long enough (he says have to be here 4 months, I've been here two weeks, that's how much I hate it) he hasn't put it in a deposit scheme as he said it's an advance payment that will be given back at the end of did my stay after 4 months. I never signed anything jut said 'ok' in an email. I'm screwed aren't I?

OP posts:
oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 13:46

I've got someone coming over in an hour to use my keys to unlock it, finally managed to get home of someone who wasn't at work.

OP posts:
knackeredinyorkshire · 07/03/2017 13:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 13:48

I haven't spoken to him, he gives me the creeps so I avoid him if I can.
I have some job interviews this week which I will hopefully get one of so I can move out.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 07/03/2017 13:49

If you can get out of the house, of course Hmm

BurningBridges · 07/03/2017 13:49

Either the CAB or Shelter will help you - you can look online at their websites now and get information to get started with - your anxiety won't prevent you from doing that.

oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 13:51

I will thank you

OP posts:
Dearlittleflo · 07/03/2017 13:53

Was just about to suggest Shelter- they are fantastic at advising on all sorts of housing issues and what your rights are, getting deposit back etc.

Also speak to your uni housing/welfare dept. It makes no difference that you are a Masters student- they are there to help you. They may even have funds to help you.

ImperialBlether · 07/03/2017 13:57

Whereabouts are you, OP?

incredibule · 07/03/2017 13:59

It looks like an auto deadlocking nightlatch, which is not recommended for communal use. Have a word with LL on his return so that you are not locked in again if he goes out. And move asap, please.

crapitus · 07/03/2017 14:02

Sorry but this remind me so much of the Denton's in 'The League of Gentlemen'

'In this house we wage the constant battle between the microbe and the germ'

Harvey Denton and his wife Val are a bizarre couple whose gaudy 1950's-style house is run in an insanely ordered manner. For examples, they have two rolls of toilet paper labelled "1's" and "2's," and colour-coded towels for every purpose, from hands and spills to pubic hair. They have identical twin daughters, Chloe and Radclyffe. With their long white dresses and their habits of turning up unexpectedly and speaking in unison, they are obvious references to the two girls in The Shining. Harvey's dream in life is to have a self-lowering toilet seat. Val's wish is to have a son.

Into this formula, their nephew Benjamin (Shearsmith) is interjected. Harvey and Val tell him to make himself at home which is obviously impossible. Harvey is obsessed with male masturbation, forever accusing Benjamin of masturbating, using an array of amusing euphemisms.

Harvey is deeply fascinated by toads and has had the basement converted into a special chamber for keeping his huge collection. He is not so fond of frogs, refusing to allow the use of "The "F" word" in his home.

He also owns the toad known to the Mapapa tribe of the shakiti hills as the devil's toad. "If one were to squeeze its little yellow belly, one's heart's desire would be granted." With him and his wife, Val, that turned out to be true. He wished for a self-lowering toilet seat, while Val asked for her nephew, Benjamin, to return. Both wishes came true. Benjamin also made the mistake of killing two of Harvey's favourite toads, Sonny and Cher, by frying one on an electric heater and stepping on the other.

The Dentons also have a "nude day," which they claim is the first Monday of every month. They cast aside all clothing and go about their daily duties--including going to the supermarket, the newsagent's, and the post office, totally naked. When Benjamin walks in on them naked, they force him to strip off as well and answer the door naked. Benjamin surprises the caller and brings him back to the living room, where Harvey and Val are dressed and Benjamin is humiliated.

As Season 1 progresses, it becomes clear that the pair, especially Val, don't want Benjamin to leave. In the first season, they merely used diversionary tactics. However, in Season 2 their plans become more sinister: they lock Benjamin in his room; type up a letter made to look as if it was from Benjamin, declaring that he wishes to stay with the Dentons; and construct a large chamber in the basement where they intend to keep him as a pet. Harvey even publishes a pamphlet entitled "My Plan to Keep Benjamin Locked Up as Some Kind of Pet, by Harvey Denton"; even Val is repulsed. Benjamin discovers this plan and turns the table on Harvey and Val, trapping them in the chamber and forcing them to confess before Chloe and Radclyffe chase him off with a shotgun. However, rather than free their parents, they lock them in.

Though they are never expressly killed off, this is the last we see of Harvey and Val. They were not featured in Season 3 or the film, although one of their previous routines does appear in the live show and in the Christmas Special, Val is seen as head of "Solutions Inc.", though this may not be real, given that it took place in Charlie's dream. A relative identical to Harvey is briefly seen on the streets of Royston Vasey in the Victorian era, shaking a collection tin in a suggestive manner. Their absence is unusual for such important and frequently used characters

leagueofgentlemen.wikia.com/wiki/Harvey_And_Val_Denton

Grin
oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 14:03

Oh my god yes!!! He really does!! I remember that show

OP posts:
incredibule · 07/03/2017 14:04

OP this is the one I was referring to:

www.lockandkey.co.uk/p/1038ebpl/union-1038-auto-deadlocking-nightlatch/

oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 14:06

No it's not auto because it's only when he leaves the house

OP posts:
incredibule · 07/03/2017 14:11

But he deadlocks it with a key, yes?

Bluntness100 · 07/03/2017 14:11

WTAF. How can you get locked in before and not speak to him about it? What happens if he locks you in and you can't get to your interviews?

Ffs, speak to him about it. And if he's outside your door open it and ask him if there is an issue.

allchattedout · 07/03/2017 14:12

How on earth did you find this weirdo?

As others have said, you very sadly have few to no rights as a lodger. Did you sign any form of contract or was everything informal? How much money are we talking about with the deposit?
I suggest that you send him an email about the lock situation (please don't tell us he does not have an email address because I will not believe that). Get it documented in writing and be absolutely clear that this is NOT acceptable.

Then, for your own safety, you need to move out of there. There must be someone, a family member maybe, bank overdraft etc that could tide you over for a brief period.

I also suggest that you talk to the other lodgers. Are they male or female? How long have they lived there? Do they have any issues with the landlord?

oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 14:25

He does have an email and I will write to him so it's in writing, that's a good idea.
The other lodgers, I barely see, one moved in last week.
I have bad credit, my bank won't extend my overdraft and as I said previously, I have no family. And no friends that could let me stay or that I know well enough to ask. I will be going to CAB and uni tomorrow though to see if they can help.

OP posts:
oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 14:27

I found him on gumtree, because of my bad credit I can't go through an agency

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 07/03/2017 14:28

How are the other lodgers getting out?!

oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 14:36

I assume they left before he did? There's definitely no one home.

OP posts:
Youdosomething · 07/03/2017 14:56

Doesn't add up, read back. Inconsistent I'm afraid.

Youdosomething · 07/03/2017 15:03

OP says initially that this has happened twice before, then later in the thread 'the first few times it happened'. Also for someone with anxiety issues, reading online 'get a grip' easily cured them!

oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 15:08

Inconsistent with what? It's happened twice. I have tried to be vague about details because I have also spoken about this on Facebook so didn't really want people knowing who I was, I post a lot of personal stuff on here and don't know how to name change.
This is real, weird thing to lie about Hmm but ok. I will be going to CAB tomorrow and talk to my uni.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 07/03/2017 15:11

You did say "the first few times it happened" you assumed the lock was dodgy. How anyone could accept being trapped in a house all day for whatever reason and not take steps to prevent it happening again is extremely hard to believe.

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