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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to move

140 replies

oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 12:32

Renting a room. Live in Landlord is super creepy. Extremely germaphobic I'm guessing, gives me regular talks on how to clean (I'm a clean person I know how to do it) tells me to tell my visitors how they should be using the toilet (men have to sit down apparently) and how they should wash their hands, that's weird right?
He hangs around outside my room and waits for me to come out and always has something else to show me how to do (the other day was how to do the washing up). He also just stands outside my room at night, it's very odd. In fairly sure he goes in my room when I'm out even though I lock it.

And all of this I can put up with, but twice now he has locked me IN the house. I can't leave, I'm on the top floor so I can't even hop out of a window. I have places I need to be and I do not like the thought of being locked in somewhere!!

I need to move but without my deposit back I can't afford it. He won't give it back I don't think because I haven't been here long enough (he says have to be here 4 months, I've been here two weeks, that's how much I hate it) he hasn't put it in a deposit scheme as he said it's an advance payment that will be given back at the end of did my stay after 4 months. I never signed anything jut said 'ok' in an email. I'm screwed aren't I?

OP posts:
Original poster
oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 13:29

I'd love to be able to go to Citizens advice now but I'm locked in Grin if I don't laugh I'll cry.

OP posts:
CatsBatsEars · 07/03/2017 13:30

Fuck me! He sounds fucking nuts! Seriously get the fuck away. Ring police or fire brigade to rescue you.

Original poster
oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 13:30

I will ask them when I'm in tomorrow.

OP posts:
mnbvcxzl · 07/03/2017 13:30

He sounds bonkers.

The lock thing could be a misunderstanding (maybe he thought you had an extra key?) I dunno. Is there not a back door?

Btw student support would be able to help you, regardless of whether you are doing a masters or not. Get out of these ASAP.

Babyiwantabump · 07/03/2017 13:30

It sounds like he's double locked it from the outside - I've done this to my OH by accident before by turning the key the opposite direction in the lock it double locks .

You can't open it from the inside when this is done as you can't turn the little nob bit to open it.

Has he done it before? Or is this the first time? He might do it automatically when he goes out as safety and is not used to having a lodger?

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/03/2017 13:31

I can't imagine he's deliberately locking you in. Perhaps he doesn't realise you can't get out. Or perhaps, as he sounds as though he has a few issues, he has a compulsion to double lock the door.

marthastew · 07/03/2017 13:31

Op, where are you? Could one of us who is local call the police for you? You need to get out of the house and you need to move out asap.

NerrSnerr · 07/03/2017 13:31

You talk about having visitors in your OP, could they help by giving you somewhere to stay for a while?

Original poster
oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 13:33

That sounds like what he's done. I got someone I know to open it by posting my keys through the door yesterday. (Everyone I know who could help is at work right now so can't help me)
He would be used to having lodgers, there's people coming and going all the time, foreign students/workers.

OP posts:
TENSHI · 07/03/2017 13:34

Op you need to call the fire brigade then! They have lock cutters. Seriously op your anxiety is going to get even higher if there is an emergency and you can't get out!

For goodness sake you are nearly 30 you are going to have to get a grip, stop making stupid excuses and do what everyone has told you to do!!

So one or more of these op:

  1. Call police/fire brigade
  2. Tell the landlord your key does not work and you need one that does.
  3. Tell him your grievances by email and cc to the local authority.
Original poster
oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 13:34

No they couldn't have me stay. There's nowhere I could stay even for a little while. But I will sort that out another time, I just need to get out of this house 😡

OP posts:
Original poster
oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 13:36

Wow thanks. My anxiety is cured by just telling me to get a grip. Hmm
He doesn't have a job so I'm hoping he will be home soon. I am distracting myself by looking online at places I mightn't possibly be able to afford to move into now.
Thanks for all the advice everyone, hopefully I escape soon.

OP posts:
JackandGordon · 07/03/2017 13:38

Op, please phone 101 and talk to the police/fire brigade.

You should be able to leave your house any time you like.

Twopeapods · 07/03/2017 13:39

I would be tempted to phone the non emergancy police number for advice NOW. They might have a word with him about locking you in. I don't know though. But I'm sure they will have something to say.
This is really not on, especially when you look at the whole picture with the other creepy behaviour. Are you the only lodger at the minute?

Ifionlyknewthenwhatiknownow3 · 07/03/2017 13:40

can you get out a window at all?

Original poster
oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 13:41

No there's two other people but both are at work and I've not really met them.
I don't want to get him in trouble in case it's a genuine accident but with all the other creepy stuff I'm just not sure.

OP posts:
Original poster
oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 13:41

It's a top floor flat. I did consider it but it's a bit too high

OP posts:
Foureyesarebetterthantwo · 07/03/2017 13:42

OP when he locked you out yesterday, did you speak with him about it in the evening?

Unfortunately when you move in with a stranger, that's what they are, a stranger. It's so hard, I have had house shares and it's a leap of faith. When there's only you and one other male though, you are leaving yourself very vulnerable, and you don't know him at all or what he's likely to do.

I hope he's just a bit unorganized and creepy at worst, but whatever, you need to move on as your instincts are screaming out at you this is not ok.

Chloe1984 · 07/03/2017 13:42

It does sound and look like it's only unlockable from the outside with the key. Strange that there is no key hole on the inside. I'm guessing you've tried pulling the round latch up/down and moving the handle at the same time in all possible combinations? I've not seen or had a lock like that before but hopefully someone else has.

Foureyesarebetterthantwo · 07/03/2017 13:43

You are not on your own in the house then? He knows the flatmates are out all day though at work.

TENSHI · 07/03/2017 13:43

Seriously op why didn't your self protective instinct/gut instinct kick in the first time you got locked in?

Then you are almost paralysed by anxiety to do anything about your own safety apart from post on MN? But then make excuse after excuse as to why you can't help yourself?

You really should not be living alone. You sound very vulnerable and lacking in common sense and lacking a self protective instinct.

It sounds as if this Landlord gave you anxiety/the creeps the first time you met him.

You are sounding like your own worst enemy.

SuperFlyHigh · 07/03/2017 13:44

Call student services/union housing people. Ask around at uni (tutor etc) if anyone would let you stay with them until you get this sorted out.

This is very unsafe. If there was a fire you'd most likely die.

Original poster
oregon1985 · 07/03/2017 13:44

I've tried everything to unlock it!!
I haven't spoken to him because I haven't seen him since then, he did lurk outside my door a bit last night but I was tired and too creeped out to talk to him

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 07/03/2017 13:45

How can you accept being locked in a house all day by your Landlord, rather than tell him you need either a key or a lesson in using the lock properly? This has happened several times??
Please don't use your anxiety as an explanation for this, it's mind boggling Confused

Chloe1984 · 07/03/2017 13:45

Are there any downstairs windows you can get out of, take the key with you then unlock when outside?

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