To have walked out of this restaurant?

[MellieMGrant]

Took DD out for a nice day together, hair and shopping and lunch etc.

We went to a local mid range chain restaurant which prides itself (and usually delivers on) speedy service, as we wanted to get lunch done and dusted.

We were seated almost immediately, on the end of a long table. The table was filthy, and our place settings were used.

A member of staff came and cleared the rest of the bench and didn't acknowledge us at all. Didn't change our place settings.

We sat there, ignored, for almost twenty five minutes. I tried to make eye contact with at least two staff members but got nowhere.

A family were seated behind us and had their orders taken and drinks brought over while we were there.

I'm not particularly assertive and didn't want to make a fuss in front of DD anyway, so we just got up and left. Ended up going to Subway instead as we were really hungry by that point.

Was I being unreasonable? We often go out for lunch on a Saturday and I've never had such a poor experience, no matter how busy they are.

I feel a bit guilty for walking out but I'm not sure what else I should have done. Is a twenty odd minute wait at a dirty table too long or was I just hangry and irritable?

[EastMidsMummy]

Mental health issues can be just as debilitating as physical disabilities but they are hidden.

I'm quite aware of that. The point is that it's not helpful to say "the waiting staff should have spoken first." They didn't, so it would be useful for the OP to internalise/practise some coping strategies to deal with situations like that.

[Rainbunny]

That's an annoying experience OP. I recently had an infuriating service experience at my local chain coffee shop. I ordered two lattes but one was with lactose free milk for my DH and proceeded to wait nearly 15 minutes whilst about 14 people, the majority of whom ordered after me received their drinks while I was stood waiting. I finally went back to the cashier and asked to be refunded as my order appeared to have been overlooked. At that point one of the baristas produced my order with a sigh and an eye roll and said to the cashier (she didn't even bother looking at me) that the order included lactose free milk so she made the other regular milk orders first to be efficient! Yeah well it wasn't very efficient for me to wait 15 minutes and watch everyone get served before me just because the barista didn't want to break her stride... The cashier was nice though, he gave me the refund and the drinks so I guess it worked out.

[Itsnotwhatitseems]

the thing is the restaurant shouldn't need pointing out that the table was dirty and needed cleaning. The waitress that led them to the table would have registered this and organised for it to be cleared and their orders taken. Op was well within her rights to submit a bad review to tripadvisor, I for one would want prior information before visiting and if it stops others from having the same experience then that's a good thing

[CaraAspen]

The waiting staff should have spoken first. End of. They sound rubbish, frankly.

[TizzyDongue]

Even if the op had drawn attention to the dirty table and the lack of attention. Then remained and eaten, she would still be totally reasonable to have left a negative review. Because the OP and her daughter experience poor service (regardless of how she handled it).

[Italiangreyhound]

East "The point is that it's not helpful to say "the waiting staff should have spoken first." They didn't, so it would be useful for the OP to internalise/practise some coping strategies to deal with situations like that. I completely agree with that. Sorry I was just getting rattled with people saying OP should have spoken out. I've never felt so anxious I could not speak but I know it is a recognised thing.

I really hope the OP will get the help to move on.

I do wonder if the review on line was a way to kind of qualify (for the OP) that they did have the right to walk out. Which they certainly did.

[TinfoilHattie]

Sometimes I'm told what to eat. Most often the rules are that you and your guest have to order something different. If a chain has just revamped their menu you might have to order something marked "new". I've also in the past had to pretend I had an egg allergy to see how the staff handled it. It really all depends but you are told the rules up front so if you don't think it's for you, you don't take the assignment.

[Italiangreyhound]

Oh Tinfoil, I would love to try this! Can you pm me!!!

[Italiangreyhound]

OP Hope all is well, thinking of you.

[SportsDHiver]

I haven't read the whole thread but, if I were you, I would raise a complaint; if it's a chain, they will take it seriously, I am sure.

I had a similar situation recently, where the starters and drinks turned up quickly but something happened to our main course order - I suspect the bit of paper with the order was dropped or lost. I complained at the time and we were not charged for the starters, but we were going to the theatre afterwards and i was picking up the tickets, so I didn't have time to eat all of my main course.

A subsequent complaint (after I was asked for my feedback), led to profuse apologies from the area manager and a generous voucher.

If you like going there, why deprive yourself. It was almost certainly a mistake by the staff, not a deliberate attempt to humiliate and ignore you. When we had our bad experience, at no time did I become angry because I could see just how busy the staff were and doing their best. The problem was with the management, or lack of it.

You owe to yourself to raise a complaint, if you are so upset as to post on here. I bet you will obtain an apology at the very least and you will feel much better about yourself and better able to deal with a similar situation, if it arises. Being assertive is not at all the same thing as being aggressive. Go for it OP!

[morningconstitutional2017]

You definitely weren't being unreasonable and their staff need more training in the people skills department. Many of us would have walked out earlier.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

@birdsdestiny - yes you are right that we don't have to care why the mistake happened. But it might make the OP feel a bit better to think it might just have been human error, rather than deliberate bad treatment aimed at her.

I know she didn't say that was what she was thinking, but as someone who suffers from anxiety myself, I know how easy it is to take something very personally, to assume that you got bad treatment because the other person despised you - and how that can play on your mind.

So, whilst poor service due to human error is no better than deliberate poor service, thinking of it as human error may make it easier to process. I hope that makes sense - apologies if it doesn't - I know what I am trying to say, but don't appear to be able to say it as coherently as I would like!