To have walked out of this restaurant?

[MellieMGrant]

Took DD out for a nice day together, hair and shopping and lunch etc.

We went to a local mid range chain restaurant which prides itself (and usually delivers on) speedy service, as we wanted to get lunch done and dusted.

We were seated almost immediately, on the end of a long table. The table was filthy, and our place settings were used.

A member of staff came and cleared the rest of the bench and didn't acknowledge us at all. Didn't change our place settings.

We sat there, ignored, for almost twenty five minutes. I tried to make eye contact with at least two staff members but got nowhere.

A family were seated behind us and had their orders taken and drinks brought over while we were there.

I'm not particularly assertive and didn't want to make a fuss in front of DD anyway, so we just got up and left. Ended up going to Subway instead as we were really hungry by that point.

Was I being unreasonable? We often go out for lunch on a Saturday and I've never had such a poor experience, no matter how busy they are.

I feel a bit guilty for walking out but I'm not sure what else I should have done. Is a twenty odd minute wait at a dirty table too long or was I just hangry and irritable?

[AllllGooone]

summers im east anglia
BSEds?

[AllllGooone]

Also, for all those suggesting op should have spoken up, I'm terrified to after reading a mn thread about the things that are done to people food who they deem to be "making a fuss". Obvs you don't actually need to be being rude, they just need to take enough of a dislike to fuck with your food!

[Italiangreyhound]

Donotblame the OP has explained she has issues with this kind of stuff.

She should not have been put in that position by the staff.

[AllllGooone]

Sorry that made little sense. I meant if the waiting staff deem you to be making a fuss.

[ReasonsToBeModeratelyHappy]

Oh well, at least you feel better now that you have taken the cowardly approach
This is rubbish - restaurants are there to provide a service where they take your order and serve food - its not complicated, and they mostly manage to remember to ask people what they'd like. It's not the OPs job to force herself to demand service - she's entitled to be served in a courteous manner!
OP, I've had similar a few times, and tend to leave, they don't deserve your custom. The worst case I had was a hotel, when I was checking out; there were 4 people behind the counter, all sorting out rotas and menus for evening meals (I know because I waited patiently for about 5 minutes!). I asked a couple of times to hand in my key and check out, and the second time the guys said very firmly 'I'm BUSY', so I put the key down on the counter and left...at which point they got the manager (who wasn't behind the counter), who chased me to see what had happened, and apologised!

It's poor training, and/or poor attitude, and you don't have to hang around putting up with it.

[BoomBoomsCousin]

OP should on;y have spoken up if it would have been better for her (which given what she's said, it clearly wasn't). As a customer you are not obliged to, effectively, manage the restaurant staff when they fail to do so themselves.

[greenworm]

YANBU for leaving. But you could have been more forceful in trying to get your order taken. If eye contact isn't working, raising your hand and saying 'excuse me' while waiter is in earshot is next logical step.

[melj1213]

YABU to have been "assertive" enough to be PA talking to your DD about being ready to order when the waitress was nearby but busy but not assertive enough to simply say "Excuse me" to actively get their attention before walking out. You could have saved yourself 20 minutes of waiting by giving them 5 minutes while you looked over the menu, then when nobody approached you, flagged one down.

I have ben in restaurants at busy times where I've frequently had to flag a waiter down - someone will come and take a drinks order deliver them but then you won't see a waiter for ages so as one is passing I just raise my hand and say "excuse me" to give both a visual and audible cue that I am asking for attention and I have never had one refuse to stop unless it's been to say "So sorry, I'm just in the middle of X, but I'll be back in a minute"

I have worked as a waitress and at busy times - like lunchtime on a Saturday - it is very easy for one table to get overlooked, if the host has put someone on a table and not told the waiter/ess responsible for that area/table that they have seated someone and they don't notice, or they see the used settings and assume you've finished and are actually on the way out, that you're still looking over the menu etc.

Sometimes customers catch your eye but they aren't in your section and you already have 4 tables waiting for food, 3 more to clear the starters from, a table waiting on drinks, you have to tell the kitchen that 3 tables are ready for the next course, pass out dessert menus to another table etc, so unless they follow that eye contact" up with a verbal cue to show they need attention right this second they will either have to go to the bottom of the list or you make a mental note to send their waiter/ess over if you cross their path enroute through the restaurant

All it takes is an "Excuse me" as a waitress is going past for them to come over to the table and you can say "Sorry to interrupt, but we've been waiting for someone to clear the table and take our order for a while now. Can you do it or get us the person who can? Thanks"

[melj1213]

As a customer you are not obliged to, effectively, manage the restaurant staff when they fail to do so themselves.

No, but I feel that a customer has the obligation to give the restaurant an opportunity to fix the bad service they have recieved by speaking up at the time, and not just moaning afterwards. IDK how many times I have seen scthing reviews on TA only for the establishment to reply saying basically "So sorry to hear you had a bad experience, we don't actually have any record of you saying this at the time and therefore we weren't aware it was an issue for you. If you had said something, we would have been happy to do XYZ to make issue ABC better for you or even if you had mentioned it on leaving we could have arranged some form of goodwill there and then to compensate you. If you wish to discuss the issue further please feel free to contact me directly on [email protected]"

If the OP had said "Excuse me" and actually spoken to a member of staff and then they have gone on to ignore them/give bad service then yes, complain but if somehow you've been overlooked but you haven't actually made the staff aware there is an issue, how are they supposed to know to fix it?

[unfortunateevents]

Did you ever bother leaving a good review on previous occasions when you have had a nice experience in the restaurant? Or did you just leave a poor one today on the one occasion that you did not receive good service?

[Unihorn]

melj1213

This.

The irony being managers then spend less time on the floor and more time in the office recovering complaints that have arrived from head office or on social media. They also pull staff off the floor to investigate, thus generating more complaints.

[Clandestino]

mel I don't agree that guests have the duty to report their bad experience immediately. That puts the blame straight on the guests' shoulders: you didn't complain directly, you have no right to complain afterwards.
It's very akin to victim blaming.
The OP was shown the table and then completely ignored. She had a full right to walk away. She had the full right to decide they can fuck themselves sideways and leave a bad review. It's not her duty to teach the staff their responsibilities, it's up to the owner of the restaurant.

[WorraLiberty]

See I was sympathetic about your anxiety etc, even though my first thought was 'Why not just say, excuse me, sorry to bother you but could you wipe the table when you have a minute please?'

I know what a bugger anxiety can be though, so I totally understand why you might not have said that.

However, I think given that you were unable to ask such a simple thing, you were bang out of order to then go on Trip Advisor and leave a bad review.

Especially since you say, But we've always found it fine. Today was the first time it's been shit. We've even been in a huge group with seven kids and it's been excellent

I bet you didn't mention your anxiety and the fact you were unable to point the problem out to staff?

[Clandestino]

Worra, another one of the victim shaming and blaming brigade?
Why not leave a bad review for a bad service? Why should it be her responsibility to teach them better customer service? She was ignored, she wasn't served even though she came there with the intention to spend money. She had the full right to vote with her feet and give a scathing review. Why are people so defensive when it comes to bad reviews? They are a part of the business.

[WorraLiberty]

Because before people became 'keyboard warriors' (OP's words, not mine) at one time they would at least have given the person a chance to put something right.

Now it's all too easy not to let someone know a problem has been overlooked, and run to the internet instead to let the whole world know, instead of doing the decent thing and drawing it to the staff's attention first.

We're all human, including waiting staff.

[Italiangreyhound]

Melj "PA talking to your DD about being ready to order..." Does this mean you think the OP was passive aggressive?

That is a massive stretch if that is what you are saying!

"I feel that a customer has the obligation to give the restaurant an opportunity to fix the bad service"

Not in my book; the customer has no obligation to do this IMHO. They have the obligation to be honest with staff and pay for their food, and to not upset other diners. But they do not need to give a restaurant a chance to right a wrong.

Unihorn if restaurants offer the chance for people to write reviews they should be aware that some will be negative if they give bad service or bad food. When I worked in many restaurants they did not have on line anything. But it is important to remember even before on line reviews, there was always word of mouth, and restaurants might have no idea what was being said about them.

I had one customers complain at the end of the meal, having eaten most of it. That, IMHO, is not acceptable. But aside from that if a customer is anxious and finds speaking up difficult, as the OP has said, then they are not required to be able to do that in order to expect to get served within 25 minutes of arriving at a restaurant.

Worral "I bet you didn't mention your anxiety and the fact you were unable to point the problem out to staff?"

The OP really is not required to tell the restaurant why she could not speak up! If the restaurant don't want negative feedback as well as positive then they really should not ask for feedback! This has given them a chance to change their way of relating to customers.

The OP has already said she may not go back, so they've potentially lost her a customer anyway, but she has, at least, given them a chance to change their service for others.

Clandestino totally agree. I think the OP was fair. I probably would simply not bother going again and may well tell friends why!

[WorraLiberty]

Oh come on now this is silly.

If there's a problem that staff are unaware of, you point it out.

Then if they don't do anything about it, by all means complain.

But sitting there tight lipped, walking out and then complaining to all and sundry on the internet, when you've previously had excellent service is pretty nasty.

Not to mention ridiculous when no-one's been given a fair chance to put it right.

[Italiangreyhound]

Worra " ...they would at least have given the person a chance to put something right."

Not so in this case, due to anxiety the OP was never going to speak up in this instance. Consider it this way, a person who is potentially a paying customer sits at a dirty table waiting to be served. They are ignored for a quite long time. Had she been at work this might have been the bulk of her lunch break. Why would she need to give the restaurant a chance to correct their bad service?

"instead of doing the decent thing and drawing it to the staff's attention first." it's very clear the OP did not feel able to do this. The 'decent' thing would have been for a member of staff to at least acknowledge their present and clear their space.

I think the OP had every right to register her 'experience'. "The table was filthy, and our place settings were used... A member of staff came and cleared the rest of the bench and didn't acknowledge us at all. Didn't change our place settings."

[CaraAspen]

Fgs. The flaming STAFF should not ever put a customer in this position. It is THEIR responsibility to do their jobs efficiently and one of those jobs is to serve customers properly on a first come first served basis.

Some of you are really weird to blame the customer for not trying hard enough to get served.

Pfft

[Italiangreyhound]

Worra cross posted. Just so you know I've had several waiting jobs and worked on some very difficult and busy shifts like Saturday nights, New Year's Eve etc.

Waiting at tables is quite a difficult job, sometimes your feet ache, it's not easy and you need to be polite etc and professional all the time. You get crap from the kitchen if you make a mistake and crap from the customers too!

However, it is important to remember no one has to come and eat at your restaurant.

We once had a disastrous family meal, when I was a teen, dad complained and the restaurant sent vouchers for money off another meal. My dear old dad said no, they didn't understand our meal had been ruined (can't remember what it was now!) and had they offered us a free meal he would have taken us all back to re-do the meal, but he was not going to spend more money there just because they had sent us a few vouchers.

It made me realise that some restaurants do not realise that as well as simply serving food they may be playing host to a very special family event, a reunion, a first date or painful parting, and that cannot always be 're-done' if the service or food are bad.

Eating out is quite expensive in the UK, more so than many other countries, where I've lived and eaten out. Even pub meals are a lot. You don't expect to sit at a dirty table! I've asked for cloths to clean tables before, some staff will give me a cloth and I will clean the table myself but the best places will come over and do it for you.

The restaurant should be pleased the OP bothered to tell them.

[Deadsouls]

Why would you feel guilty for walking out?

[WorraLiberty]

Exactly. The OP was never going to give them the chance to put the problem right, because she has anxiety.

Therefore I don't think it was fair to leave a scathing review, omitting the fact she was unable to point out a dirty table and give the busy staff a chance to apologise.

[Italiangreyhound]

"she was unable to point out a dirty table" were the staff truly unaware she was sitting at a dirty table!

Had she eaten food she did not like you might have slightly more a point since the staff would not know the food tasted bad, as they don't get to eat off the customers plates (least ways not in any place I've ever worked) but anyone with sight would have been able to see a customer at a dirty table with their menus.

In many places menus are not on the table, you are given them when you come in so all can see you have not ordered yet, once you order the menus are removed.

Pubs that do pub grub do not do this because people order their own food at the bar.

[CaraAspen]

So how do you explain the way the "busy" staff are so utterly rude and ignorant that they do not even make eye contact with a customer who is clearly waiting?

No wonder people like them are so far down the food chain.

[CaraAspen]

The serving staff, I mean.