New school threatening EWO referral.

[Givemeallthechocolate]

Sorry that this will be long, but ive been worrying since yesterday when DD came home from school.
It was a letter referring to DDs very low attendance at school, it says she will be monitored for three weeks and if no improvement is made then they will make a referral to EWO officer.

This is a fairly new school, and DD has had a lot of time off, but every single absence she has had has been completely unavoidable, that being said it has been a really unfortunate year,

The first four weeks of the school year DD went back to school and was constantly sent home for having tummy troubles. She complained of Diahorrea or pain and they would call me and send her home, which completely butchered any chances of having good attendance.
It got to the point where I had arranged with the school that I would go in and give painkillers, but she just couldnt keep coming home. I was constantly getting called from appointments to dispense painkillers, then sometimes go and collect her. it turned out to be friendship problems (i did take her to the drs several times about this)

Then there are the recurrent throat infections. she has had 9 throat infections in the past year. which has meant time off for appointments. its not always possible to get appointments after school, I dont tend to keep her off unless her condition is considered to be quite bad, IE fever/ not having slept because of her throat/ not eating.

then off the top of my head ive kept her off twice because of vomiting.

Then we moved in December, she attended her old school until the day they broke up for christmas. After the school holidays it took me a week to get the form for her to change school, proof of address and get her enrolled into a school. The form arrived at our house, the next day we viewed schools, the next day she started this current school.

Since starting this school she had a really bad throat infection which she had a few days off with, I got Dd ready for school and they refused her in because she had taken painkillers, they told me that she could come back once she no longer required painkillers. which was a further 3 days, so a week.

the 2 absences for sickness.

2 Drs appointments- both of which she had been given antibiotics to take.

1 funeral, which I took her out for half of an afternoon for.

Ive done all I can to ensure DD attends school. I send her in armed with antibiotics. I dont take her to Drs unnecessarily. Ive communicated with the school, and I think the fact that i made her available at a time that they thought she was too unwell shows this.

But ive now received this letter. It made me feel very much like they view it as im just not bothered to wake up and get DD to school, which is not the case.
If Dd is home from school we try to go onto learning websites and I try to ensure she reads more than she usually does. She tends to make her way through a book each week, like david walliams, Roald dahl, or wimpy kid.

How do I deal with this? I feel like ive been judged as a bad mum.

Ive written a letter explaining that I understand the implications of low attendance on both education and social paramaters, but these missed attendances have all been within the remit of their sickness procedures, Ive kept in contact with the school at all times, and I have even made DD available to return to school at times they deemed too soon.

Then to explain that the reason for many of DDs days off is that she has recurrent throat infections, which has required no less than 9 sets of antibiotics within the past 12 months, and if they would really like to support us in ensuring DD attends school more regularly that they might like to write a letter to GP/ ENT to explain the effect on DDs education and that the sooner they can get her tonsils out the better. Preferably before the start of the new school year.

Then to also say that whilst it wouldnt help to ensure that attendance goes up, but would ensure less educational struggles, if they could signpost me to where I can figure out what is best for me and DD to try and work through on the days that she is off.

Ive possibly taken this far too personally, and I may be too het up about this, but I really am quite offended. Ive sent them letters explaining exactly why DD hasnt been at school. they know that there are some medical issues. They give her antibiotics. so its not like im taking DD out of school for no reason.

Its just scary, and upsetting.

I dont know how to handle this. I just feel like theres an insinuation that I dont care about her education, when I really, really do.

I think that refusing to accept her in school after calpol could be an illegal exclusion

The Zeppo, sadly I tried that. Its likely we will just have to cancel.

berthadyfil- what can I do if it was an illegal exclusion?

childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/school-exclusion/

Scroll down to informal exclusions.

What I really don't get is that school is not happy with kids who's taken calpol. I have sent my ds into school, with slight temp or tooth ache with calpol. I reminded teacher, only thing they said was keep an eye. No problem at all. I sent my ds into school everyday with medication, potentially more dangerous than calpol. They have no problem with it.

Irvine, me either.
They allow antibiotics, but not calpol or any painkiller. I'm trying to remember her exact wording. She did clarify with another member of staff and they confirmed this.

The last school allowed me to pop in and administer painkillers, everything.

DD has only been in two schools. So it seemed strange but I wasn't sure whether it was just how other schools operated.

I wasn't happy about it, but accepted they were the rules, It's been a worry in the back of my mind since,because DD often requires calpol. If I couldn't send her in whenever she has it her attendance would be half of what it is.

Will be making appointment for tomorrow with head.

Just to check- when you refer to painkillers, you're only talking about Calpol, Nurofen etc in medicine form? Not tablets, and nothing stronger?
School may be confused by your wording, I was a little.

Sorry but you could ask for x3 a day antibiotics.
You kept her off for friendship issues - doctor told you there wasn't a physical problem.
Don't tell the school she's had Calpol.

How bad is her tonsillitis? I missed 30-50% of school for a couple of years because I got recurrent tonsillitis. I'd run a massive fever, get abscesses on my throat, be in terrible pain and need shedloads of antibiotics. The school were cool about it, because it would often start while I was in school and I'd get sent home.

(Back then, tonsillectomies were terribly out of fashion, and it was hard to find an ENT surgeon who'd do it. Our lovely old GP was terribly supportive, and sent us out of area to a consultant he'd been at med school who was close to retirement, had no truck with all this new-fangled nonsense, and was happy to whip them out.)

However, I'm a bit concerned about the friendship thing. If DD is absent a lot, she'll find it harder to make new friends. And could she be clutching at every little ache and pain, because she feels lonely or insecure? Not saying she's making it up or anything, but something that you wouldn't really notice when you're in a good place emotionally can seem crippling when you're in a bad place.

I also think that you should cancel the holiday, but then I'm one of those who get incensed by people taking children out of school in term!

Like lady, I didn't keep her off of school for the friendship issues. I sent her in each day, the school were sending her home. This was in the old school.

Since moving she is very happy. The tonsillitis isn't always that bad, which is when she is sent in. It isn't always the case though. I feel like I've said this a few times.

If it's run of the mill tonsillitis she gets sent to school as normal. If irs particularly bad is when she stays home until she's at the point where she can get through the day, usually with painkillers, though new school refuse if there's need for pain relief.

God I am a teacher..... do not cancel her holiday just don't book another in school time. Horse/ bolted etc. It will be a waste of money and I am sorry nothing about your thread tells me you will...... just learn from this. Have you applied for time off at new school yet? If you have paid all money you must be going soon. You don't need to 'consult a tutor' or 'do less Disney' what rubbish.....

The EOW is triggered automatically so don't panic. You know where you have made mistakes. It's rubbish about calpol.... they may not want you In there administering but that's normal- child protection etc. We have a nurse that does all the meds.

I would just phone and make an appointment and get everything in writing.

Leccy I thought that, I did clarify that it was only calpol as they were shooing us away which changed nothing.

Teacher here: Please don't make her work on her holiday, what kind of holiday is that? :) EWO really is automatically triggered, she has been ill and not just kept off e.g. To babysit a younger sibling or to look after a sick adult. Try not to worry too much.

Wannabe stress free.
Thank you.
It wasn't just administering, if she's had any then they cannot allow her in school... will be discussing with head teacher/anyone who will listen tomorrow.
Even if it is their policy, there must be an exception to the rule? It's obviously better to have her in having had some painkillers than not there at all.

OP I assume you can't afford to home school until she is in better health?
This would take away the threat of the EWO, let you have your holiday and it also seems that you are invested in her education so she would still be learning

Just another yellow belly- that is an option that I have weighed up. Home tutors could well be an option. At least for the short term. I had also thought about home education delivered by me, but I don't think I really have the smarts.

Lots of Home Ed'rs don't use formal materials, some do and some use a mixture of both.
She may learn just as much with your one-to-one help as she does at school.
It might be worth looking at the Home Ed board on here to see what others do and their experiences - they're a friendly bunch!
I just think that you should look at all the options available especially as you being stressed isn't good for you or DD

I was wondering whether to mention home ed. I've home edded and flexi-schooled my four dcs our the last 19 years.
There is so much help and advice available and loads of websites and schemes.
I am in 3 local Facebook groups with countless social activities and workshops/ classes to attend. Sounds like you are used to doing a lot with your dd at home anyway.

I really understand your stress over this whole issue. This was one of the deciding factors for me taking my 9 year old dd out if school and home edding her again.
I feel awful that I sent her into school with jaw pains. I took her in late after taking her to the emergency dentist on the way. He said it was a combination of growing pains and overcrowding and to give her Calpol, which I did. However it got worse during the day and she told 7 adults who all fobbed her off. Next day I went up at lunchtime to give her Calpol. School were prepared to give it to her l if Dr prescribed it, which she did, but pain settled after that.

Sorry posted too soon......

Dd had been asking to be home edded again for ages anyway and it suits us so much better.

Your dd sounds bright. We do a much shorter school day than school and cover everything we have to, to keep up and then have fun and loads of free time to mix.

It's not for everyone, but may suit you. You could maybe do it for the rest of primary and avoid KS2 sats.

To the pp that said children that miss school are more likely to be socially excluded and suffer from anxiety. I find this really ironic as school is not the social panacea that many think and for many children it is a very lonely place. Also, school is often the cause of a young person's anxiety.

To the pp that said children that miss school are more likely to be socially excluded and suffer from anxiety. I find this really ironic as school is not the social panacea that many think and for many children it is a very lonely place

If a child is home educated and mixes with other children then school wouldn't automatically make the child more social.

But if you attend school full time but regularly miss chunks of it then the absent child will usually have missed something going on in the friendshup group, other children end up making best friends etc and in that sense they are missing out socially because they're on the back foot with the interactions. Kids are fickle with friendships and it's much more difficult when someobe dips in and out of a group.

I think that's a fair point Maisypops and in this context I can see how absences could affect a child socially.
However, I was referring to kids that don't fit in, for whatever reason and are excluded from friendship groups. For these children school is a lonely place.

I agree with maisyPops being off does affect friendships adversely.

op you have my sympathies only skim read thread page one and last page. Its horrid situation.
I was torn last week as although DD has excellent attendance she had really nasty throat, I wasn't sure what to do, I kept he off one day as she had slept badly and looked deathly pale, but at home she was OK, so the next day I sent her in.
Cue teachers telling me she is very pale and ill and had to sit out, so the following day I kept her off again and I thought - bloody hell she is an excellent student and she is 9, 9 years old and she is ill and I can look after her at home but the system won't let me. Awful.

As for friendships I totally agree missing too much time off - puts you out the loop.

But you know what! So does mixing up the class every single year and cutting some DC out of the friendship groups which has happened to us .

I hate all of this - its sledge hammer and nut to me, it really is.

As for the holiday Ironically op I would say you ALL NEED a holiday more than most with all this illness and stress.

I hope you can move it at least. I would be tempted to go though.....

and for many children it is a very lonely place. Also, school is often the cause of a young person's anxiety

This x 1000000000000000000

I got that letter when my had been off for four weeks following bilateral achilles tendon surgery then subsequently got a sickness bug. The school knew about the operation, never mind that for the first month he was back he had both legs in plaster. I rang the school, who said it was a formality and to ignore it, but they did say they had to make the point that attendance is important. They don't realise that when you are going through this, these letters are the last thing you want.