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Original poster

Death and FB

109 replies

Crowdblundering · 04/03/2017 14:52

I don't think I am being unreasonable - if I am I obvs belong to another era.

OH grandparent died this morning. OH hadn't seen in years and is not really bothered (however harsh that may sound) his mum doesn't seem particularly upset either and already a lot of bitching about wills etc (OH not involved and not going to funeral for this reason).

None of the grandchildren close to him but have been rather over dramatic posts over the last few days tagging the whole family with lots of "love you Hun" posts as he lay dying but in reality there was an actual physical fight in the hospital by the death bed Hmm (we are hundreds of miles away).

This morning I woke up and scrolled through my FB to see that he has in fact passed away - OH then checks his phone and has a text from his DSIS telling him.

Thing is the post went on FB about 5 mins after the poor chap died closely followed by other posts almost trying to "beat" each other and get in there first Hmm the post has about 200 comments now to which SIL has commented on then all so clearly glued to FB while supposedly "grieving"

This would have been incredibly upsetting for OH to find out like this if he had been close and I just wonder WTAF is wrong with people that they need to use death on FB to attention seek like this.

It's just all a bit - uncouth? Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Crowdblundering · 05/03/2017 15:11

Apparently 10 to 20 million dead people on FB - I have 2 dead people on mine - not sure what you are supposed to do about them Confused

OP posts:
Lucy7400 · 05/03/2017 15:52

This is one of the many reasons I gave up fakebook. My SIL is always on there claiming deep love for my dearly departed FIL who she couldn't give a shiny shit about when he wad alive. Awful, attention seeking behaviour.

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 05/03/2017 16:57

I have three feiends who have passed on my fb. All around 40 so not even a natural time to go. On this day can be upsetting when they have all commented / posted on my page in a row as happened last week. But it also keeps their memory alive.

PootlewasthebestFlump · 05/03/2017 17:05

My father died suddenly last year. He's still on Facebook and yes I tag him in things. Partly because it's like talking to him as if he's still there but also because my mum - technophobic to the end - uses the account too and would not know how to change the name even if she wanted to; and also it shows people my dad was linked to but I'm not that he has been mentioned.

Like, when I took his clothing to a certain charity shop as donations. Hard to do but a lot of people were pleased to know that I had helped my mum clear them out and which cause they had been donated to. I don't want every auntie twice removed to be my Facebook friend but if I tag my dad they see little updates that might be of interest to him.

I expect I'll mention him when it's his birthday too.

He existed, social media is a way that people talk to each other these days, like it or not. My friends can see my posts and if they want to judge me as attention seeking, competitive or whatever then they're welcome to unfriend me. It would be obvious that they didn't understand the slightest thing about me so I'd be glad they were gone.

Judge away. I care not.

Original poster
Crowdblundering · 05/03/2017 17:11

Pootle

That's very different to what I am talking about.

OP posts:
PootlewasthebestFlump · 05/03/2017 17:24

Well I wasn't referring to you.

bumblebee50 · 05/03/2017 17:36

When my brother died last year his best friend (who he hadn't seen or spoken to for about 10 years) put a post on Facebook saying how devestated he was. He got maybe 50 replies of sympathy - complete attention seeking behaviour.

JuanPotatoTwo · 05/03/2017 18:54

I haven't read the whole thread. I can't. Op - condolences to your OH.

I suppose this is a bit different or maybe not. My dh died last Monday morning. We're devastated. On Monday evening I started a thread on MN. The comfort I have found in reading people's comments is astounding. Also on Monday, my dd wrote a tribute to her dad on FB. She managed to sum up the essence of her dad with her words, and comments have come in from people who hadn't seen him for 35 years. The outpouring of love, the shared stories, the respect and love for him has astounded us all and we have derived indescribable comfort from reading it all. I never really did FB before this.

Like I said, I haven't been able to read this thread in full so apologies if I'm spectacularly missing the point.

CarrieMyBag · 05/03/2017 19:41

JuanPotatoTwo I'm very sorry for your loss Flowers

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