Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feeling very uncomfortable about what I've just seen

228 replies

thatverynightinmaxsroom · 04/03/2017 11:00

It's a really miserable day here today - wet, windy etc. Just driving home and saw a little girl (7ish?) walking alone down the street. I slowed down because it's unusual to see kids of that age alone outside round here and unusual to see anyone outside on a day like this!
She was followed by a little boy, similar age. She turned into a front garden and I thought she was going in but she just looked through the window. The boy sat down on a mat on the pavement outside the house (there was quite a lot of junk in the front garden).

I turned the car round, put the window down and asked if they were okay. At that point a man out his head out and yelled at them to come in.

I know it's not massive, most of us have probably seen worse, but I can't get the image of the little boy sitting on the sodden mat out of my head and I'm just wondering if anyone would do anything about this.

OP posts:
DellaPorter · 04/03/2017 11:02

Yes, I would report that. Then if the family is known to social services, it will be picked up.

WorraLiberty · 04/03/2017 11:08

I'm not sure, as it's hard to know what you saw really.

I know when I was a kid, the wild weather never stopped me and my brother playing outside on a Saturday morning.

JonesyAndTheSalad · 04/03/2017 11:10

Oh God you might see that outside my house any day!

My DD is 8...could pass for 7. She often has a little walk up and down our street. She also might sit on the step...look through the window....

What was wrong with what you saw exactly? A man spoke not very nicely...that's the worst thing...nothing else really to note.

Sunnydaysrock · 04/03/2017 11:10

Were they dressed appropriately for wet weather? If so, possibly they had been out playing. If not, I'd be inclined to agree with Della

DenimChicken · 04/03/2017 11:10

What would you be reporting?

BigcatLittlecat · 04/03/2017 11:11

The fact that you have questioned on here about it shows that you know its not right. Do report it, it would be part of the bigger picture.

saoirse31 · 04/03/2017 11:12

Possibly the man saw u as the threat in the circs. A sad thing in your post is both no one playing out and your shock at playing out in bad weather.

GahBuggerit · 04/03/2017 11:15

id be uncomfortable at seeing a woman following two small children in her car and winding windows down to speak to them and would prob call 01 with your reg number to be on the safe side. nTHAT would make me very uncomfortable yes.

the situation you describe, not so much

IamFriedSpam · 04/03/2017 11:19

People get very defensive when anyone mentions that something might be reported in case it could happen to them. I always say if you're concerned just report. Tell them factually what you saw. If they don't think it's a problem they won't investigate, if they're also concerned they'll investigate. Might turn out to be nothing in which case great, if children are being neglected then they can get some help.

IamFriedSpam · 04/03/2017 11:21

GahBuggerit if you were concerned you'd be more than reasonable to call the 101 and give OP's reg. They would probably contact her ask what she was doing, she'd tell them and nothing further would come of it. Hardly a big deal.

WorraLiberty · 04/03/2017 11:23

Report by all means but I'm not entirely sure exactly what you would be reporting?

"2 children who live at 23 Mumsnet Lane, were out in not very nice weather. One of them sat on a wet mat and the guy in the house shouted them in."

I'm really not sure what else you could say Confused

EnormousTiger · 04/03/2017 11:25

I once saw a toddler on a pavement and I took him to the police station across the road actually! He could not speak so I felt he had no choice. Later his family collected him from the station. I would still do the same thing again as if my children escaped the house I would want someone to do that for me even if I were accused iof kidnapping a child!

It's hard though as a parent might have made a child wait in the front garden because they were misbehaving at home and some allow children otu more. My twins were the first in their school to walk home alone - no other parent allowed it!

Sweets101 · 04/03/2017 11:25

It's really confusing that there are 2 threads on this!

yorkshapudding · 04/03/2017 11:25

So, essentially, you saw two children walking very close to their home in bad weather and they then went home where there was an adult waiting for them? Unless they were very inappropriately dressed for the conditions, seemed distressed or exhibited signs of neglect that you haven't haven't mentioned I'm not sure what exactly you would be reporting.

If the family is known to social services, it will be picked up

Picked up how? What are people expecting them to do exactly? Children's services really aren't going to be interested in the fact that two children have been allowed to play outside in bad weather unless they were out there for hours, not allowed in the house, doing something dangerous or in in adequate clothing.

WorraLiberty · 04/03/2017 11:26

Exactly Yorksha

BarbarianMum · 04/03/2017 11:28

Another one here who's not sure exactly what it was you'd be reporting.

Sweets101 · 04/03/2017 11:28

If the children are on a child protection plan or child in need plan what they won't think is "what the fuck have you told us this for"
Information helps!

littlefrog3 · 04/03/2017 11:29

I agree. I am not sure what you can report.

Keep an eye on them and monitor the situation. If you report now, it may give the parent a heads-up, and if they ARE abusing the children, they will cover their tracks.

To be honest, when I used to live half hour walk from a sink estate, and I used to go for walks on summer days, I saw lots of kids yelled at by the parents; it's commonplace in certain areas/families sadly. Think Jeremy Kyle/Benefits Britain kind of families.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 04/03/2017 11:29

What worra said. You have no evidence of neglect or abuse.

WorraLiberty · 04/03/2017 11:30

Even if they are on some sort of plan, what exactly is wrong with being outside in not very nice weather, and then getting called inside by an adult?? Confused

GahBuggerit · 04/03/2017 11:30

oh i know spam, just saying out of tge two scenarios op's actions are, to me, the most report worthy

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 04/03/2017 11:32

Think Jeremy Kyle/Benefits Britain kind of families What a charmingly judgemental bloody statement.

CaraAspen · 04/03/2017 11:32

I think we should trust our instincts. The OP saw this and had a gut feeling it wasn't right.

Sweets101 · 04/03/2017 11:33

From what OP said it was as much about the children's behaviour in the scenario as the scenario itself.
You couldn't really say if/how/why the info could be of interest as part of a wider picture. It might not be!

Cuppaand2biscuits · 04/03/2017 11:33

Safeguarding children is everyone's business. If you report this it could be the final straw that starts someone looking into it.
Teachers or health visitors may have already raised concerns but nothing serious enough to be looked at. Lots of separate incidences of concern could indicate that there is a problem at home. This isn't necessarily something to fear, the parents might feel in need of help but unsure where to look.