Feeling very uncomfortable about what I've just seen

[thatverynightinmaxsroom]

It's a really miserable day here today - wet, windy etc. Just driving home and saw a little girl (7ish?) walking alone down the street. I slowed down because it's unusual to see kids of that age alone outside round here and unusual to see anyone outside on a day like this!
She was followed by a little boy, similar age. She turned into a front garden and I thought she was going in but she just looked through the window. The boy sat down on a mat on the pavement outside the house (there was quite a lot of junk in the front garden).

I turned the car round, put the window down and asked if they were okay. At that point a man out his head out and yelled at them to come in.

I know it's not massive, most of us have probably seen worse, but I can't get the image of the little boy sitting on the sodden mat out of my head and I'm just wondering if anyone would do anything about this.

What? you would have given money to 2 kids and given them indirect permission to go to a community centre?

Thankfully my children know to shout "i dont know this person" if a stranger tries to bribe them with anything

and where are these sales where i can say "id like 2 puddle suits for 2 7 yo for £2.....oh look theres 2!!!"

but my kids like getting piss wet through in the rain so id have a hard time anyway!

yorksha That's my experience too.

Also OP, get a grip - You're casting aspersions on people's parenting because their kids don't have "puddle suits", what the fuck is a puddle suit anyway?

I've never owned one but my mum was and is an amazing mother and I'm quite sure I've never seen my nieces/nephews in "puddle suits".... Quick, alert social services about neglected children in Belfast!

and its sounding more and more like the dad may have been shouty for my reason - to Get Them Away from the car, no ifs, no buts. just get the fuck away from that car NOW.

What's a puddle suit???

I've just googled puddle suits and they look like large waterproof onesies.

and yes User thats my general experience. We really can pull together to help others instead of just signalling that we do. we dont look the part though admittedly

So you saw two children in the rain?and then one of them sat down and then (presumably) their dad told them to come in away from the stranger who had approached them. This all sounds perfectly normal.

1 children are allowed to play outside even in the rain. This is Britain. It won't kill them.

2 Kids sometimes sit down. Even when it's not the best decision.

3 sometimes dads shout at their kids to come in. That's normal.

Only on MN could this perfectly normal situation be considered grounds for SS referral.

Wtaf is a puddle suit? Sounds horribly twee and uncomfortable. Whats wrong with a coat? I take it the kids weren't made of sugar?

What a ridiculous thread. Really op? Absolutely everything that made you 'uncomfortable ' actually makes you sound stupid. You literally saw a few minutes of these kids lives and ran away with assumptions. Get a grip.

OP has it occurred to you that he shouted because a stranger in a car had stop to talk to his children? The local schools here are warning children not to go up to car windows and to scream and shout should a stranger pull over and talk to them. Parents have had letters home warning us because there have been quite a few attempted abductions. So if I saw you turn your car round and approach my children I would shout too, because I would be frightened about what you were doing!

Also, in my experience (School, Rainbows, Brownies, Cubs, Scouts and my DC) toddlers wear puddle suits, very few children over about 6 do, even for outdoors days/hikes.

DD8 (but looks about 6) by the way would not be seen dead in a puddle suit because they look like the outdoor suits you put on babies. She's not a fan of waterproof trousers either. I've tried because we walk a lot but 'it's only a bit of water mum, i'll be fine'

I just googled. No way would my children have worn one of those things after the age of 5. They're baby suits!

I genuinely can't see the concern here. It's the kind of thing me and my brother would have done. We would have been playing out and when the weather got bad sadly headed home. My brother did stuff like sit under the window because if mum couldn't see him he didn't have to come in right? I also used to wave through the window when I got home as the door would not always be unlocked and at that age I didn't have a key.

If we had been outside our house and mum had seen a car drive past, slow down and someone try to talk to us she would have freaked and shouted us in "right now" as well.

I just really can't see how there's any evidence of neglect here. If the garden had been immaculate would you have judged? Maybe they just had a clear out and are waiting for the council to pick up stuff?

I would be more concerned about your behaviour if I was passing by. I would want to know why you were deliberately slowing down to talk to kids who were trying to get inside their own house.

Also good luck getting a 7 year old to wear a puddle suit. Tbh a jacket is an acheivement. My 7 year old would happily play outside in his t-shirt given the chance.

I just really think there is no need for such concern here. I cannot see it at all.

Op says she wouldnt have judged.

i can onky assume the junk was mentioned in the op because it wasnt relevant at all. definitely not.

I'm glad so many people are like me and have no idea what a 'puddle suit' is!

You sound like a busybody tbh.

If I saw a car slow down and turn around and the driver pulling over to talk to my children I would also shout at them to come in! They have never owned puddlesuits either.

I'd be wary about slowing down your car to follow unaccompanied children down the road, turning round, winding down your window and then talking to them.

Or you could find yourself on the end of a report.

Social services now. If you think it's wrong, feel it's wrong and can see it's wrong; it's wrong

No.
Just no.

This op is not about safeguarding concerns based on risk assessment and knowledge.
Its about value judgements based on differing view on what is adequate parenting.

Thresholds for SS interventions are high for a reason. The state cannot and should not dictate how parents care for their children unless they are causing harm and distress.

We have one of the most proactive children's services in the world. Many other countries simply do not get involved in family life and some that do are purely reactive. They don't go in 'just in case'.

Someone upthread said people get defensive on these threads because they fear it could happen to them.

Far more usual on MN is people calling 'REPORT' because they think it could never happen to them.

We have anti vaxxers, free birthers, those who refuse to feed their children solid food until they feel they are ready, homeschoolers, 'gentle' parents who will not set boundaries for their children and a whole host of seemingly acceptable MN parenting styles. Imagine the horror if they were reported by someone who though not vaccinating was abusive, not giving your kid a nice sausage when they are watching you eat was cruel, taking your child out of school was weird and suspicious etc etc.

Yet time and time again parents who live in 'one of those houses' or don't offer choices to their children, dress them in Asda clothes and let them eat junk food elicit calls to REPORT.

You need a reason to report a family to SS. There isn't one in the op.

Although 'AIBU to report the woman who looked like she was trying to abduct my kids' would be an interesting thread.

I always thought puddle suits were for toodlers? Water proofs for older children...

From what you described it sounds fine but the thing is you are the only one who saw it and got the feel of it. Maybe the girl forgot her key and dad was cross or maybe something is wrong. I am inclined to say follow your gut. We all have a gut instinct for a reason. If nothing is wrong then no harm done. If something is wrong then you've provided help to vulnerable children.

If a 7 year old wore a puddle suit where I live they'd get crucified at school on Monday.

I agree that I don't think I have seen anyone over preschool age in a puddle suit. Children don't dissolve in the rain.