Feeling very uncomfortable about what I've just seen

[thatverynightinmaxsroom]

It's a really miserable day here today - wet, windy etc. Just driving home and saw a little girl (7ish?) walking alone down the street. I slowed down because it's unusual to see kids of that age alone outside round here and unusual to see anyone outside on a day like this!
She was followed by a little boy, similar age. She turned into a front garden and I thought she was going in but she just looked through the window. The boy sat down on a mat on the pavement outside the house (there was quite a lot of junk in the front garden).

I turned the car round, put the window down and asked if they were okay. At that point a man out his head out and yelled at them to come in.

I know it's not massive, most of us have probably seen worse, but I can't get the image of the little boy sitting on the sodden mat out of my head and I'm just wondering if anyone would do anything about this.

Perhaps his mum is inside with warm hugs, a fluffy towel and a cup of cocoa in a "slightly messy" house.

Ready for him coming home

worra how much junk is too much though? Is the back garden alright?

I have a chair growing legs in the back garden. My Dad was meant to help me shift it out the front ready for collection day but he had the audacity to come down with pneumonia and spend a week in hospital instead (he's fine now).

Haha yes Red I do

Kind of agree with Cara actually, follow your gut, it doesn't matter if what you saw ones that meet a specific criteria for neglect it may be part of a much bigger picture.

Sorry that should say 'it doesn't matter if what you saw doesn't meet' i.e. It may not be a massive thing in itself but may provide a small piece of a bigger puzzle.

how much junk is too much, though? I imagine if the OP ever returns, she will confirm there was an old mattress, rusty car and an ancient fridge. Possibly a few discarded Special Brew cans, fag butts and a used condom by the gate.

I don't know how to link but Google 1 in 5 children reported to social services. I don't think they do what everyone with a 'gut instinct' to report.

If there wer dressed. Fed. Etc then thats fine. They mught not have been allowed out and may have been brats and gone off anyway or the girl may have been sent to get the boy because of the weather boy not wanting to come home coz football in mud is always more fun. HOWEVER if ur concerned and something about the situation didnt feel right then make the call. Because even if there fine and nothing is going on then im sure that them parents would feel happy knowing someone is looking out for children in the streets. And if all dowsnt turn out to be fine then u have probably helped the kids. Either way ur sleeping soundly tonight with the worry off ur brain. So do it

www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-36377293

Is this it Demin?

Pretty much says what ive been wondering.

I have worked with them... never been on the receiving end. I would actually only report if I saw something, or a continuing pattern of smaller things which added up to abuse or neglect. My opinion is that not every childs life is as perfect as we would like it to be and SS involvement often makes things worse. In an ideal world it shouldn't, but it does.

Something struck you as unusual behaviour, it's not just "instinct". It's about the girl and boy not walking purposefully to the door and knocking on it, it's about the man shouting them in in a protective tone as opposed to an annoyed or angry (with them) kind of tone. There is a difference. If you report it, at the very least it'll be on file even if they do or don't have time to visit.

If a stranger in a car had accosted my kids at that age whilst they were playing outside or coming back in from nearby you would have heard me 'shout them in' pretty smartish too.

I'd also note your number and once the kids were in I'd have asked you why were were accosting children who were minding their own business by their own house. Assuming you were still there of course. If you had buggered off I'd most likely share the tale and description with friends /neighbours just in case you were seen doing it again.

Its all a matter of your PoV. From the fathers PoV you could well have been the threat.

A Department for Education spokesperson said: "Ensuring children are safe and well looked after is our top priority - where there are concerns about a child's safety or welfare, it is only right that the appropriate people are informed and where needed, action is taken.

Quite.

Yes that's right Gah thank you

Were they dressed appropriately? Really not sure what you'd be reporting here.

I have a rule for 6 year old DD that she has to go outside every day to play, no matter what the weather so sometimes she'll be out in crappy weather that some people would think is odd, and she'll have a walk around the neighbourhood and maybe look forlorn sometimes because she can't find any children to play with (and other times finds children and plays with them so is happy then).

Children like playing out, even when the weather is bad, sometimes that's the funnest bit! I remember last summer after a heavy rainfall there was a blocked drain on our street and the local kids were all scooping up bucketfuls of dirty rain water and pouring it over themselves. They looked a right sight but they were having the time of their lives!

"the researchers said while public and professional vigilance was welcome, the number of alerts received by social services meant staff were wasting their time on innocent families, and making it harder to find the children who are at risk."

yes, quite

Sweets, you obviously think that that quote proves your point but where in the OP is there anything to suggest that the children's "safety or welfare" are at risk??

You missed the paragraphs above that Sweets where it says that creating all these unecessary referrals to SS is putting children at risk.

There is nothing to suggest they are or aren't yorksha just the OP's concerns (sure we covered this already)
You are right Denim I only quoted the bit from the Department of Education spokesman, seems reasonable!

Omg. This is a parenting website. As someone already said safeguarding children is everyone's business.
The op had concerns she should act on them. Phone social services or NSPCC not police for this sort of thing. The information might be something or nothing. Let the professionals decide. I'm astonished at some of the views expressed on this thread. If anyone has a concern they should always report it. It might be a valuable piece of a bigger picture.

I understand that the OP is "concerned", what I don't understand and nobody seems to be able to clarify is WHY she is concerned! Yes, Safeguarding is everyone's responsibility but that doesn't mean that everything is a Safeguarding issue.

Of course Safeguarding concerns should be reported. Concerns that have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with Safeguarding don't necessarily need to be reported.

Exactly yorksha

And since the OP hasn't come back, she hasn't even clarified what her concerns actually were.

If anyone has a concern they should always report it. It might be a valuable piece of a bigger picture.

Yes its possible. Its also possible that it is the latest bit of over reporting pushing a serious case down the list or to one side. Unless the children looked neglected or harmed in some way there is nothing in the OP description to justify taking SS time from more in-need children. It isn't a zero cost option when you report safe children as being at risk, even if it makes us feel better in ourselves.

Moon of course concerns should be reported, but only after people have checked with thrmselves exactly whats concerning them to ensure its not just prejudice.

ie. ops scenario should be of a concern to her even if the garden was immaculate, a merc on the drive and the kids top to toe in Boden. I strongly suspect ig wouldnt be though. So is it a concern or just a bit of good old fashioned looking down on others?