Feeling very uncomfortable about what I've just seen

[thatverynightinmaxsroom]

It's a really miserable day here today - wet, windy etc. Just driving home and saw a little girl (7ish?) walking alone down the street. I slowed down because it's unusual to see kids of that age alone outside round here and unusual to see anyone outside on a day like this!
She was followed by a little boy, similar age. She turned into a front garden and I thought she was going in but she just looked through the window. The boy sat down on a mat on the pavement outside the house (there was quite a lot of junk in the front garden).

I turned the car round, put the window down and asked if they were okay. At that point a man out his head out and yelled at them to come in.

I know it's not massive, most of us have probably seen worse, but I can't get the image of the little boy sitting on the sodden mat out of my head and I'm just wondering if anyone would do anything about this.

Exactly and it's that 'just in case' idea which contributes to unecessary referrals and it's the same with A and E attendances etc. My local MH crisis team receives 100s of calls a week, 60% of which are not a crisis or an appropriate use. So you've got someone suicidal not able to get through because Ms A is on the phone talking about her neighbour being 'a bit funny'.

OP here. Sorry - been busy and haven't had time to read all responses but to those I saw on front page:

Of course I don't worry about kids playing outside in the rain. DD attends forest nursery and is most definitely outside in all conditions.

These kids weren't playing though. The girl was looking through the window and the boy was sitting on a sodden, dirty mat.

Were they dressed appropriately? In my view no - mine would be in puddle suits or waterproof tops and bottoms in that weather. They had jackets on so I guess in some people's view that's appropriate.

What really worried me? The fact that it looked as though the girl wanted to go back in the house but no one came to let her in til I was there.

Also the way the man shouted at them. But I don't shout at my kids, especially when they haven't done anything visibly wrong except perhaps attracting a stranger's attention.

To the comment above re the immaculate drive, yes, I'd still feel really uncomfortable, especially because I used to volunteer with at risk kids and know that lots of them come from those sorts of homes.

And as for junk in the garden - should have seen my garden a few months ago, piled high with rubbish bags because we had been fixing a problem in the basement insulation and the bags were waiting for a few days for the landlord to come with the trailer to take them to the skip.

Not everyone can afford puddle suits and such like - jackets are the norm for many families.

Can you describe how he shouted at them? Aggressively? Swearing? Threatening?

Christ, after reading the OP's update, does anyone here seriously still think people should 'trust their gut'?

They had jackets on

Girl looked through window

Boy sat on wet mat

Man shouted them in

Batshit

Still sounds a bit judgemental/snobbish to me, I'm afraid...

The boy was not made to sit on a dirty wet mat, he chose to.

If the Dad was upstairs or in the loo as I already said he wouldn't answer the door immediately - there are many many reasons why he may have been a bit abrupt calling them in, including some stranger sat in their car talking to them!!

Junk in garden is not allowed on mumsnet.

I used to sit on my front step all the time as a kid in all weathers. I had a little girl who lived right next to me and we'd sit on our front steps chatting and looking through each other's windows! Unfortunately, you were the one who probably looked suspicious approaching them even though you were just concerned.

awww....puddle suits

ic you report please stick to the facts:

you followed 2 children in your car
they had coats on
one sat outside of their own accord in a mat
one looked in the window
their father shouted them to get indoors
they went inside

Social services now. If you think it's wrong, feel it's wrong and can see it's wrong; it's wrong.

So Scorpio, by that very simplistic stance shoukd i report my cousin who is forcing her veganism on to her DD?

The thing is, it hard to get the feel the for a situation when its written down. The OP obviously felt that there was something wrong with the whole picture, but writing it down means that you dont get that.

I would contact social services, say what you saw and that it concerned you. If there is no issue then there is nothing to worry about and if there is then you will behelping those kids.

Please report it to somebody.
No harm done if you're mistaken but awful if the children are at risk. Famous quote:
"The only think necessary for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing."

What the hell is a Jeremy Kyle family?

That's dreadful

Oh come on, puddle suits cost £2 at a second hand sale.

Yes, he was very aggressive in his tone and manner.

But okay, I'm batshit. Also relieved that most of you think it's fine because I feel more relaxed about it now. I just felt really sorry for the kids. And I didn't 'follow them' in the car, just turned around to check they were alright. If they'd been locked out I could've given them a couple of quid to go into the community centre over the road and get a snack.

user Thank you - that particular comment was swept well under the carpet and was revolting.

because I used to volunteer with at risk kids and know that lots of them come from those sorts of homes.

OP you sound a lovely caring person and I too have had occasions where something didn't feel quite right. Last week infact a father was being very overbearing to a child....what to do?
BUT i don' think nasty people exclusively live in run down houses with grotty gardens.

Don't worry too much - you just saw people who weren't middle class.

Yes, because all children should speak to and accept money from strangers in cars

Seriously OP, the more you post, the more your radar of what is/is not acceptable is waaaaay off.

Below are just a handful of cases I have reported to SS in recent months

• 15 yo girl discloses Dad physically assaulted her whilst drunk. She shows me bruises. Says it has been happening on and off for years. Mum knows and turns a blind eye. SS have a word with Dad, he is "remorseful" and promised he will cut down on the drinking. SS ask if girl can be allowed to stay with Grandma for a bit "to give them both space". Dad does not give permission for this so girl has to go home. No further action taken.

• 14 yo girl crying hysterically every day when school finishes saying that she doesn't want to go home. Won't tell teachers why. Starts self-harming and when asked about this says it's because if Mum's boyfriend but won't say more. Mum refuses to come into school for a meeting to discuss this and is verbally abusive to staff when they call. I am told it "Does not meet the threshold" for SS involvement, that the girl is probably trying to get attention and needs to be told to go home.

• 12 yo boy whose Stepdad regularly calls him "faggot", "cunt" and various racial slurs (boy is mixed heritage) and encourages his siblings to tease him about his sexuality. Boy often looks very dirty and unkempt whereas his siblings do not. Stepdad invited to do a parenting course, which he declines. No further action

The above is a drop in the ocean. The situation with social care in many areas of the country is absolutely desperate. They don't have he resources to intervene even in cases where there are clear signs of abuse or neglect, let alone respond to "gut feelings" in the absence of any evidence.

I used to LOVE playing in the rain as a child even though I was told I wasn't to go out if the weather was bad but I'd sneak out to literally dance in the rain with my bright pink Barbie umbrella.... I can't imagine our old neighbours reporting my mummy for it.

Littlefrog3 You're a stuck up ignoramus, it's not just working class parents who shout at their kids. Your judgemental and snobby remark speaks volumes about the type of person you are!

small anecdote....i have been trying to get donations of clothes and shoes for people in a really bad way...tried my local middle class zone absolutely NOWT.
A large, impoverished estate.... bags and bags and a kind word.

By those sorts of homes I was responding to the poster who mentioned Boden, immaculate drives etc ie middle class homes - I wasn't referring to the 'sort of' home I saw today.