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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friends should have her daughter more

94 replies

TwistedHeart · 03/03/2017 23:12

Basically I'm god mother to my best friends daughter who's 2, I have her every weekend from Friday until Sunday which I don't mind as I love spending time with her. My friend has had a rough time lately she lost two close family members so I've been helping out more and having the little one through the week aswell. The thing is she lives with her partner who never seems to have the little one either. I feel bad for my God daughter because she must miss them. I don't know how to bring it up with my friend as she's still very fragile so any advice on how to approach the subject would be appreciated

OP posts:
WildBelle · 03/03/2017 23:16

Sounds like an odd arrangement. How long have you been having her at the weekends for? What is your friend doing at the weekends instead of having her daughter?

AnyFucker · 03/03/2017 23:16
Confused
khajiit13 · 03/03/2017 23:18

Every weekend?

WorraLiberty · 03/03/2017 23:19

Define 'having a rough time'.

Has it caused her to have a breakdown or slip into sever depression or something?

If not, having someone else's child for that amount of time every single week is imo, rather weird.

WorraLiberty · 03/03/2017 23:20

*severe

ollieplimsoles · 03/03/2017 23:20

Sorry....what the hell?

gamerchick · 03/03/2017 23:21

You have her most of the week then?

Karmaisabitch · 03/03/2017 23:21

Sounds like she's taking the piss.

I'd simply say "so when are you actually going to start being a Mum to your kid?"

pieceofpurplesky · 03/03/2017 23:22

Is the partner the child's dad?

Permanentlyexhausted · 03/03/2017 23:22

Sorry - you're not the godmother, you're the unpaid live-out nanny.

Mrsknackered · 03/03/2017 23:24

Think we need more info. Has this always been the arrangement?
What if you have plans on a weekend?
I can understand why she might need a break in the circumstances but that's a long time to be away from your child and I don't think it will be good for either of them in the long run.
Lovely that you have such love for your goddaughter though.

MsPavlichenko · 03/03/2017 23:24

You sound like Cheryl in the Royale Family.

MsPavlichenko · 03/03/2017 23:25

Royle

MiddleClassProblem · 03/03/2017 23:28

Sounds bizarre!

PinkFluffiUnicorn · 03/03/2017 23:28

Maybe Just start telling them that you can't have your god daughter as much, like only the Friday night?

AnyFucker · 03/03/2017 23:30

This is essentially a private fostering arrangement

Social Services need to know about this for their records

stiffstink · 03/03/2017 23:32

You have her 2 nights and 2 days a week every week?! What do you do if you want to do something at the weekend? Where does she sleep at your house? Who sorts out her food and clothes?

This is bonkers, where is her actual non-resident parent in all this?

JustifiedSinner · 03/03/2017 23:33

But you're the one enabling this situation you so disapprove of, by acting as an unpaid foster career for this child.

JustifiedSinner · 03/03/2017 23:34

Carer, not career.

buzzmoon · 03/03/2017 23:37

What does she do st weekends?

SoTheySentMeA · 03/03/2017 23:37

OP can you give any more information without outing yourself? What problems has she had exactly? Does she have boundary issues? Why does she feel leaving her daughter with you so much is justifiable? Godparents are not intended to be used as free childcare...

Benedikte2 · 03/03/2017 23:38

Is your friend pleased to see her DD when you take her home or is she not bothered? Your goddaughter is lucky to have someone like you who cares for her but her mother needs to start to parent. Do you have your own DC OP?

littlefrog3 · 03/03/2017 23:38

We have all had problems and all lost someone and we have all had to carry on being parents.

Your 'friend' is taking the piss OP!

CountClueless · 03/03/2017 23:39

So she lives with you then?

LilacSpatula · 03/03/2017 23:41

I know someone exactly like this who palms her daughter off every weekend. The trouble is that she becomes part of your family and then you're worried that she might not be going forward. (My friend has said as much). I hope you can find a way forward and a better way for your family and hers xxx

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