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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have asked for £160 from a single mum on income support

539 replies

lucindia · 03/03/2017 19:54

I'm a childminder. I looked after a child for a single mum on income support. She was doing the 15 hours free hours. She phoned to tell me she would be sending her daughter to the local school in 4 weeks time.

So I contacted the funding department to explain that I would no longer be having the child and the date that would start.

They got back to me and said they would only be able to pay the first week of the notice period and the rest would have to be paid for by the parent.

Even though the mum had given me a months notice, I didn't actually have her child at all during that month. The day she text to say she would be going to school in a months time, was the day she stopped coming to me as the Mum was visiting family for a month.

But I was still entitled to be paid for that month. It was also a compulsory notice period.

So I sent a very polite message to the Mum explaining that she would have a balance of £160 to pay as the funding department could only pay 1 weeks notice.

She said that was fine but would need to wait until her income support payment came in the next day and would then send me that. She would send the £60 the following week from her child tax credit.

I thought nothing of it.

I mentioned it in passing to my mother in law (who I get on very well with) and she said she couldn't believe I made her pay £160 when I never even looked after her child for that notice period month and that seeing as my husband and I have a joint income of 40k we could have easily afford to let her off with the £160 which was a lot for a single mum on income support.

I never considered I was doing anything wrong. I'm entitled to be paid for that month and there's a notice period for a reason.

I really like the girls mum and we always had a great relationship when her daughter was with me. She's been with me from before she was 1 as her mum was finishing university.

What do you think. Was I unreasonable to ask for the money?

She's on benefits but qualified in a professional job and job hunting. So does have options.

OP posts:
Michellelovesizzy · 05/03/2017 20:02

This situation is a bit shit, I have a two year old daughter myself and get the 15 hours free so will probably have to pay some sort of notice period! It's not the OPs fault you don't run a charity its a business! The scheme should cover the notice period but it doesn't and ur still entitle to be paid don't be feeling guilty

OpalFruitsMarathonsandSpira · 05/03/2017 20:12

Michellelovesizzy As I understand if you give notice four weeks (or whatever your contact requires) before you stop using the service you won't be out of pocket.

Is that not the case?

Natsku · 05/03/2017 20:16

That's clearly not the case Opal as I already pointed out to you - the LP gave 4 weeks notice but had to pay for 3 of those weeks because the government only covers 1 week of the notice period. That would not have changed if her child was with the childminder or not, the government still would only cover that 1 week. Do you get it yet?

leapyearbaby · 05/03/2017 20:21

Pyongyang most on benefits are low wages. Op said they had a healthy joint income.

Why does nobody 'get' that most benefit claimants are actually in work.

Darlink · 05/03/2017 20:23

YABVU
Human decency doesn't always coincide with £

FontSnob · 05/03/2017 20:25

This Opal

That's clearly not the case Opal as I already pointed out to you - the LP gave 4 weeks notice but had to pay for 3 of those weeks because the government only covers 1 week of the notice period. That would not have changed if her child was with the childminder or not, the government still would only cover that 1 week. Do you get it yet?

But please, feel free to continue with your ridiculous analogies.

FontSnob · 05/03/2017 20:28

This thread has business minded people who will not fall on hard times because they look at the long game, and bleeding hearts who have fallen on their sword and hard times because they haven't been rational and strategic in financial affairs and blame the business minded folk for not bailing them out.

What a load of horse shit.

USR · 05/03/2017 20:30

Personally, I would not have charged, rights or not. If you were in the same position, I think you would feel it a bit unfair, especially as you seem to feel that this person is someone you are on good terms with and are friendly with, and that you didn't actually look after the child. Perhaps half the amount is acceptable, but for sure I would not have charged the full amount. But that's me.

OpalFruitsMarathonsandSpira · 05/03/2017 20:31

Do you get it yet?

No I absolutely don't. Give the cm 4 weeks notice, cm can give the govt notice one week before you finish and every one is a winner.

What am I missing?

gardenrosie · 05/03/2017 20:31

YANBU but I would have offered for her to pay in weekly installments and that you would be happy to waive the fees if you found another child to fill the place.

wintertimes · 05/03/2017 20:34

Often in life what seems to be the fair thing to do is actually morally wrong, to me at least. Of course by contract you are entitled to £ 160 pounds, but really this seems to be is a big amount for her and maybe not so big for you.
I once met a very well off lady who told me that her cleaner had ruined her bathroom floor using the wrong product and that they had agreed together that the cleaner would pay for the floor to be replaced...I hope you can see what I am trying to say here. Of course the cleaner was 100% guilty but how could the lady expect somebody on a low income to cover for the cost? The comparison might seem unfair to you but I believe the principle to be the same. I think £ 160 is not a lot of money to give up in exchange for a clear conscience and to avoid the risk of never being able to get rid of this underlying guilt you obviously feel.

FontSnob · 05/03/2017 20:35

You are missing that she did give the cm 4 weeks notice.

Natsku · 05/03/2017 20:42

No I absolutely don't. Give the cm 4 weeks notice, cm can give the govt notice one week before you finish and every one is a winner. What am I missing?

You're missing that she did give the cm 4 weeks notice but the cm did not wait to give the government notice 1 week before the finish, she gave the notice at the same time as she received the notice from the LP. Do you understand it now?

StarUtopia · 05/03/2017 20:46

I'm still confused as to why the lady even had to pay (if it was free hours)

Regardless. I couldn't have done it. And I wouldn't have done it. £160 is hell of a lot of money to me. You didn't really need the money and you hadn't done any work for it. Regardless, you didn't do anything wrong.

Karma though.

OpalFruitsMarathonsandSpira · 05/03/2017 20:46

But Natsku, she finished the same day as giving her notice. So she technically gave no notice. Why would the government pay for a child's place that wasn't being used? Cm would have had to lie to ensure LP didn't have to pay. If Lp had given notice 4 week before she stopped using the service, none of this would have become an issue.

OpalFruitsMarathonsandSpira · 05/03/2017 20:49

@wintertimes how are you concluding that the cleaner was on a low income? In addition she should have been insured for such instances.

FontSnob · 05/03/2017 21:02

Opal, whilst I realise that you seem to be ignoring my contribution to this discussion. The fact remains that we can only have an opinion on the facts as they are given. Neither you nor I have any way of knowing any conversation that went before so have no way of knowing how and when plans were made or how much the OP knew of her plans before the notice period was given.

ummandahh · 05/03/2017 21:07

I am a Childminder. Personally, I would have let her off that last months payment, simply because your joint income means that you can (probably) afford to do so. Whereas, £160 is a lot of money for someone in her situation to do without (been there myself)

impossible · 05/03/2017 21:09

Of course you were entitled to the full amount and it was not unreasonable to ask for it. However, I think in your situation I would have asked for 50% if I could afford to do so. Sometimes kindnesses like that can make a big difference to someone's life - and you often never quite realise.

Michellelovesizzy · 05/03/2017 21:22

OPAL

Tbh I have no idea how this notice period things works, I just think that if the OP has a notice period of a month and the government won't pay that then the woman should still get paid and being on income support is not a reason 4 a contract not apply to you!

Michellelovesizzy · 05/03/2017 21:25

What should happen is that the government should explain at the start that they only pay a week of the notice period then it gives people time to put away a bit of money, maybe OP should tell that to new clients so they are not shocked at the end

shinysinkredemption · 05/03/2017 21:31

YANBU. Business is business. You were both happy to be paid and to pay so it's a non- situation IMO.

gemtheboats · 05/03/2017 21:32

Don't feel bad. Aside from the fact that you're perfectly entitled to be paid according to the contract, the mum would be able to claim the majority of what she'd paid in childcare for the notice period back through her child tax credits; she wouldn't personally have had to find £160 out of her income support and non-childcare element of tax credits.

angeldelightedme · 05/03/2017 21:37

Op please could you clarify whether the unfunded 3 weeks of the notice period was for school holidays.
If so, what arrangement did you have with the mother for school holidays.Would the child normally come to you ?

Willow2017 · 05/03/2017 21:39

Opal
That's the going rate round here. I can't charge more than the rest or I wouldn't get work.

Thinking a career change is in order 🤔