To ask if step children are involved how your wills are written?

[Notyourusualfamilysetup]

Bit of a back story to me asking! Just me and dad for a long time, he got into a relationship when I was in my teens and they had my brother (his girlfriends only child). They moved an hour away when DB started school for him to go to a good private school and I stayed in my home town although still saw them regularly, my SM was lovely to me but haven't seen that much of her in recent years.

Sadly my dad died when my brother was quite young, he was a very wealthy man and left everything to SM (fair enough) she sadly passed recently and left everything to my brother.

She was a SAHM and the large inheritance that my DB now has was from my fathers very successful businesses and estates that he left to SM.

The money is not as much what bothers me, although believe me I could really use even a fraction of it. I would give all the money in the world to have my father back but I just wondered if this was a usual way of doing things?

It has left me wondering if my dad had just forgotten about me, him and SM were never married so as I understand he actively made his will this way.

So AIBU to ask, if you are not in a nuclear family and step children etc are concerned, what is the set up of your wills? Have you factored in all children?

Sorry it's a bit of a morbid questions really.

Unless frosty's father has done the same as op's! Or spent it on care fees. Or scarpered when frosty was 2 and is no longer in frosty's life. Or gambled it away. Or is leaving it to charity. Presume not, where inheritance is concerned!

Whichever way, frosty' father's actions (or circumstances) will have determined what inheritance there was.

I can't control what exP does, all I can do is share my estate equally between my children.

Why is it called a milkman clause purple?

Also, why would your way be unfair to the dc whose parent dies first - is it because they have to wait to inherit? But then as you say, that's how it would be in many families.
No I agree milady you can never control what another testator is going to do - especially as it can change right up until the last minute! So in a way I suppose all anyone can do is just leave it out of the equation altogether and do what is fair with their own money....

Speak to a solicitor. You can sometimes get free initial consultations, and they will be able to tell you what your chances are in challenging the will. You have nothing to lose. Best to do that, than not bother and then regretting it years down the road when you've left it too late to do anything.

My father will split everything evenly between us all and he has another younger half sibling to us as well as my brother and myself but no step mother on scene that he would have to consider (he may have another partner with other children before he dies but he is an interesting personality and wouldn't ever be unfair to his children, he isn't morally capable of it his mindset is too rigid).
I can't ever hold my stepfathers choice against him, and I can't ask my mum not to include my sister in her half, I only worry that if she makes a choice my brother and I don't agree with later in life then there isn't much we can do as she has the majority share in the house and my brother and I each have a third of half.

The Milkman Clause is very old fashioned yet you'll get my drift

It's to stop the wife marrying the milkman and writing her step children out of her Will.

Regardless of who dies first, at that time our joint assets will be placed in a form of Trust, The remaining spouse will be able to live off the interest and proceeds but they cannot change the fact that on their death our estate will be split 50/50

It's not that we didn't trust one another we simply went with what our solicitor recommended

The reason I feel it slightly unfair to the child who's parent dies first is that they have to wait for their step parent to die before they receive any of their own parents money. However Our children know how we've set things up so there won't be any sudden surprises.

Speak to a solicitor. You can sometimes get free initial consultations, and they will be able to tell you what your chances are in challenging the will

No solicitor is going to give a free consultation to talk about challenging the will of a completely unrelated person. No solicitor would take on that case, because there isn't a case.

The OP's fathers girlfriend may not even have had a will, but either way, she left her estate to her son. Her late boyfriends daughter has absolutely no claim to her estate.

PurplePrincess why is it unfair for children to wait till their stepnparent does to get their parent's money? After all had their parents been married, would they not have had to wait till the second parent died? What's the difference?

Somietimes the step mother is the age of the children from the first marriage so I always think in those case it's unfair to make the children wait until she dies which might be many decades hence. Men tend not to marry women who are 20 years older!

Someone who has been with the step children since they were 5 ( as above) would be different from me - I had a long marriage, paid a lot to my ex husband on divorce to the detriment of our children) and I want to make sure our children get every penny of my money and indeed I have started handing it out. I don't think I'd move another man in but if I did it would be on the basis my house and any other money goes to my children and if he's homeless that's just tough - he can buy his own house and let it out whilst living in mine.

If we were love's young dream and marrying young with not much money at all that is a different story.

I've decided my children need cash in their 20s (they will be 60 when I die) and I don't need any spare money so I am deliberately trying to ensure when I die I have nothing at all. that also saves paying the state 40% of what I have in inheritance tax too.

Exactly, under 'normal' family circumstances the child does not inherit until the second parent dies, which is what will happen for us.

I'm interested actually that no one has come on and said 'that's unfair to the step-child who's parent dies first' ... obviously we think this is 'fair' as to us we are a 'normal'.

There will be no waiting until someone their own age dies to receive their inheritance, DH and myself are the same age and so are our children.

When we met and married we had very little money for a long time, so that's is why everything we have earned will be split 50/50

Even my parents have now made their Wills so that after myself (I'm an only child) their estate will also be split 50/50 between our two children. When my FIL passed away, he left specific instructions in his Will that when he referred to his grandchildren, that was also to include my son so that he would receive the same inheritance as his other grandchildren (he had 5)

Enormoustiger you say you will need nothing at the end of your life but what if you need specialised nursing care?

With regards to the op, hurtful though it is, I don't see what can be done now. If you had a good relationship with your dad it will not have been intentional, foolish perhaps.

Enormous tiger how do you know when you're going to die?

Do you know to have to pay tax on cash gifts over a certain amount (3.5k/year iirc).

I don't get the "unfair to the child who's parent dies first" either. What are you going to do, force the step parent to sell their home so stepkids can have "their half"? Presumably the wishes of the parent are that their spouse is not left destitute.

I'm older than my dh's ex wife :)

It's pretty entitled to assume you'll inherit anything anyway.

OP when your father left his entire estate to your SM did you ever question it? Did you ever have a conversation at the time about you inheriting from her?
Was there an expectation on your part that you would get something when she died?
I cannot imagine not questioning this when your father died and left everything to her.
I wonder why you are questioning this now.
I'm in Ireland and a parent must make reasonable provision for a child, this is obviously more difficult when the child is an adult, however I would certainly look into whether there is any evidence that your father left his entire estate to your SM leaving you out, on the basis that she would split everything between you and your half brother.
I know its been asked but I haven't seen any answer - did your SM die intestate - this is very important as this would mean that everything automatically when to her next of kin which doesn't include you. If that is the case you would have an easier time making a claim.

Sorry I haven't RTFT yet.

Can you not contest the will where you live, j live in Scotland and we are not allowed to exclude a child from a will.

For example if I put in my will I don't want my DD to receive anything because we are estranged and so it all goes to my DS we are not allowed to do that here.

It may be similar where you are.

"Enormous tiger how do you know when you're going to die?
Do you know to have to pay tax on cash gifts over a certain amount (3.5k/year iirc)."

I am 55. Most women in the UK die at about 85 ish so giving children money now is extremely unlikely indeed to mean they pay inheritance tax. I might die in the next 7 years but it is very very unlikely. You only pay IHT if you don't survive 7 years. I expect to survive about 30 years more so inheritance tax will not be relevant. When I am about 20 years old I will probably also make sure the children own the house or wherever I am then living and if I live in it pay market rent (reservation of benefit rules require that although God knows that tax rules we will have in 20 years' time.

I've had the same conversation with my mum.

She has put her house in my name to avoid iht. But i if i sell it on her death i'll have to pay capital gains tax, so what's the difference?

I'm in Ireland and a parent must make reasonable provision for a child, this is obviously more difficult when the child is an adult

In Ireland you must only make reasonable provision for children as minors, once they are 18 they are not entitled to anything if you choose not to give. They can apply to the courts for a portion, but they will have to convince them there is a particular reason they should get anything as an adult.

really, in England if your mother has put her house in your name but does not pay you rent then it is still in her esate for inheritance tax purposes (if it is worth enough to fall under IHT at all - most people who die don't have enough to pay IHT - about £325k+ for single people). The difference between IHT and capital gainst tax - you might make no gains. Eg my parents' was in a part of the country where prices fell not rose - yes those area exist! You only pay capital gains tax on the gain (if you don't live in the house - if you live in it no CGT) not on the value of the property. Secondly CGT is not 40%, it's often 28%. Also you get a tax free allowance for CGT each year of about £10k and only gains over that are taxed.

Oh crap I really need to get a will.
I am interested in this "milkman clause".
I have no DC but two DSC. If I die before DH that is fine as they will both get half each via him.

But if he dies before me it's a total nightmare isn't it? I'm also an only child so if I understand things correctly, without a will, everything could end up with a random cousin.

I need to find a way of protecting the DSC's inheritance. I know DH would just say "oh you will treat them fairly" and I like to think I would, but who knows if he died what if I met someone else.. ARGH.

Sorry not much of a contribution but thanks for the thread OP as it has made me realise I need to go and see a solicitor.

Thanks :). I have no idea what she's done. She's consulted a solicitor, and seems to think she's put it in our names (mentioned the 7 year thing). She's also said it's some sort of "living will" to avoid iht, who knows. She doesn't pay rent though.

I haven't bothered finding out as i doubt there'll be enough left by the time she goes anyway. She's already managed to devalue her property investment by at least 300k. She's spent everything my dad left her too (a significant amount).

All these people planning to fight over inheritance, don't be so sure there'll be much left!

If you trust yourself willywilly then your DSC are safe, as long as you make a will - ideally tomorrow, but certainly in the event of your DH's death and then again if you remarry (ideally a will "in contemplation of marriage" once you get engaged) .

The very worst case scenario would be that you make a will leaving everything to your DH and failing that to your DSC. DH dies leaving everything to you. You don't bother to make another will, because your original one still works fine. Years later you get married - and there's a terrible bus crash on the way from the airport on your honeymoon. At that point your previous will is void because you've remarried, and your DSC have no call on the estate.

Thankyou actually