Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if step children are involved how your wills are written?

173 replies

Notyourusualfamilysetup · 02/03/2017 19:58

Bit of a back story to me asking! Just me and dad for a long time, he got into a relationship when I was in my teens and they had my brother (his girlfriends only child). They moved an hour away when DB started school for him to go to a good private school and I stayed in my home town although still saw them regularly, my SM was lovely to me but haven't seen that much of her in recent years.

Sadly my dad died when my brother was quite young, he was a very wealthy man and left everything to SM (fair enough) she sadly passed recently and left everything to my brother.

She was a SAHM and the large inheritance that my DB now has was from my fathers very successful businesses and estates that he left to SM.

The money is not as much what bothers me, although believe me I could really use even a fraction of it. I would give all the money in the world to have my father back but I just wondered if this was a usual way of doing things?

It has left me wondering if my dad had just forgotten about me, him and SM were never married so as I understand he actively made his will this way.

So AIBU to ask, if you are not in a nuclear family and step children etc are concerned, what is the set up of your wills? Have you factored in all children?

Sorry it's a bit of a morbid questions really.

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 05/03/2017 09:27

If your half brother was any kind of decent person he would have offered you a share. What a bastard.

MiladyThesaurus · 05/03/2017 09:27

Our wills are written to ensure this doesn't happen. If I die first, my half of the house goes to my children (half each). DH has the right to live in the house when he dies. This means that my DS1 cannot be disinherited (and nor can DS2 if DH were to remarry then die and leave everything to a new wife).

DH has set his will up the same way but leaving everything to DS2. I think it was mostly out of spite that he wouldn't inherit everything from me and would have to share with the children. However, it makes sense because it means DS2 cannot be disinherited if I decide to leave everything to someone else.

DH and I have left all the cash to each other because the living person would need it, especially while the children are at home.

I'd never just hope that someone else would ensure my children inherit from me.

ScarletFever · 05/03/2017 09:41

"My mother had planned a 50/50 split between me and my twin sister, but twin is campaigning for 80% to her and her three children and 20% to me."

Ffs
My dm/df are splitting it 10% to the gdc and remainder among 4 dc.
DB has no dc so technically losing out slightly but not hugely

LakieLady · 05/03/2017 09:44

My friend's dad left everything to his second wife, and nothing to her and her brother. It was unencumbered, so she's likely to leave it all to the daughter they had together. The SM wasn't very accepting of the children from the first marriage, and made it difficult for them to keep in touch with their dad.

My friend wasn't so upset about the money (even though the estate was worth close to to £2m), but by the fact that they weren't mentioned at all in the will. Even if it had said that he left them nothing but his love and best wishes she'd have felt less excluded.

It's possible that he did this because they both have houses of their own (her brother has done very well, and retired at 50 on a huge pension). Sadly, a couple of years later my friend was made redundant and then developed health problems that will make it very difficult for her to find work, plus she's now caring for her mother, who is frail and visually impaired. Even if she'd got a token £10k from her dad, it would make a big dent in the amount she owes on her mortgage.

The 2nd wife has now remarried, to another wealthy man, much older than her, who owns a beachfront house on Sandbanks!

I think we should have the same laws as in Scotland.It's much fairer, and necessary now that there are so many second families.

PlayOnWurtz · 05/03/2017 09:47

At the moment my dc are the only ones in our relationship (apart from the one I'm carrying) so it all goes to them from both us and their father. When this one arrives we will revise things so that what dh brought in will go to this dc and what I brought in will split between them and the existing dc will be provided by their father.

RupertsMum2 · 05/03/2017 10:35

I have 3 dsc and 3 dc (with dh). When dh retired he split his lump sum between his 3 older dcs as he felt they needed the money now rather than when he dies. I also gave my dsd money for a house deposit when she divorced. We have mirror wills leaving everything to each other and in the event of us both dying everything is willed to our 3dc. However, as we are in Scotland, all his children (6) will have a claim on his estate. If we had known this previously we may have shared the lump sum differently.

There is nothing I can do about this but it is unfair as dscs have had their share and what's left should really be for my dcs.

OP your df should have left you a share either before he died or in his will. Is your dh likely to share.

EnormousTiger · 05/03/2017 10:36

In English law if you leave out a dependant from a will then they can make a court application for some reasonable provision. This does not usualyl apply to adults so you will probably find it hard unless you are destitute or on state benefits unfortunately. Your half brother has the right to vary the will to give something to you if he as sole heir prefers to so it might be worth writing to him to ask just in case. Lots of families do choose by consent to vary wills after death. My father did it when our mother died. Milliband's mother did. Even Princess Diana's will was varied after her death by consent of all.

As for what should have been done it is up to your father. I will not remarry as I want my children to inherit everything equally whatever their situations and earnings. I think equality tends to work best. My children's father has remarried. I don't know if his new wife would inherit or his children would but I would hope he would leave them something as both he and his wife work and both have a property so it would be fairest if his children got his property/assets and his new wife left her property and money to her son. Up to them however.

SpoofersAreLosers · 05/03/2017 12:43

"My mother had planned a 50/50 split between me and my twin sister, but twin is campaigning for 80% to her and her three children and 20% to me.

What a greedy conniving sister! I completely disagree with this. I think generally wills should be split evenly between the immediate children.

I've asked my parents to split my share and give it direct to my kids so any money from my parents will be split 1/3 1/3 1/6 1/6 - A third for each of my siblings and my third split between my two children.

twinklefoot · 05/03/2017 12:51

Even if there is no mention of you in the will

you can contest it and I'm pretty sure will receive a good proportion of the contents. I would sort this out asap as there is only a certain amount of time wills can be contested.

You rightly deserve a share of the will and I would urge you to seek legal advice.

CountClueless · 05/03/2017 12:54

On what grounds do you think she can contest the will of someone completely unrelated to her in any way? The deceased was the girlfriend of the OP's late father.
How do you think she is legally entitled to anything from that will?

EnormousTiger · 05/03/2017 13:00

CC you are eright there is no right to bring a claim under the 1975 Act against the step parent. It would have to be a claim against her father's estate from when he left nothing to his adult child and it probably would not succeed and/or be out of time. However there is nothing to stop the step brother and her agreeing a will variation now.

CountClueless · 05/03/2017 13:07

From the sounds of the father died quite a long time ago, and the time for contesting that will is long since past, especially when the beneficiary of that will is also now deceased.

It's her half brother, not her step brother. If he agrees to give her a portion that is between them.

twinklefoot · 05/03/2017 13:56

Op is entitled to a proportion. Get legal advice. Op would rightly wait and expect on the death of her DF's girlfriend she would see a share. Op wouldn't have contested at the time of her DF's death as DDG still alive.

EnormousTiger · 05/03/2017 14:03

I don't think entitled to a proportion is true in English law however. You can claim if you are a dependant under the 1975 Act but most adults don't win as they are grown up. In a few rare cases they might get something (from their parent's estate). Do however get copies of your father's and step mother's wills to check there is definitely nothing in either for you for a start.

twinklefoot · 05/03/2017 14:13

Courts do take into account i justice you know on a casa by case basis.Hmm Op has suffered twice once by her parent's getting divorced and now by her half brother claiming all the estate.

twinklefoot · 05/03/2017 14:13

Sorry for all the errors!

CountClueless · 05/03/2017 14:18

No, OP is not legally entitled to anything from the will of a completely unrelated person. She could have contested her fathers will, but she cannot contest this one.
You can't contest the will of someone you have no legal connection to, on the basis that you didn't contest a will many years ago.

twinklefoot · 05/03/2017 14:23

If that's indeed the case then we live in a fucking awful world. I'm sorry Op.Flowers And your brother is a complete lowlife sorry.

CountClueless · 05/03/2017 14:30

I don't. Obviously you can't go around demanding money from unrelated dead people.

And there is no evidence that the brother has any idea that OP didn't inherit from their father. Going around calling grieving strangers lowlifes for no good reason is hardly contributing to a better world, is it?

twinklefoot · 05/03/2017 14:33

I take it you are a second wife?

CountClueless · 05/03/2017 14:38

You take it wrong, and what a nasty thing to say.

Also completely irrelevant to this scenario.

reallyanotherone · 05/03/2017 14:39

I take it you are a second wife?

Jumping to conclusions much.

Wills and inheritance are governed by legal rules. You can't just overturn them based on opinion.

Countclueless has posted legal fact. Nothing to do with her marital status.

She is right, we have no idea whether the brother assumes o/p inherited at the time of her fathers death- that is when she should have inherited.

You cannot contest a will on what you think you are entitled to, unless you are a dependent. People can leave their money to a cat's home if they so choose, there os no legal requirement to leave anything to your children.

twinklefoot · 05/03/2017 14:41

You are just so cold to op's predicament - like a robot! I think most people would like to see what Op receive a share and she should indeed take it up with her half-brother. She should let him know she has received nothing from her DF.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 05/03/2017 14:45

Not sure if this has been said as I haven't read all comments but have you spoken to your brother about this?

Sadly, I think your dad should have thought about it when he wrote the will. The problem is is that people do not really like thinking about it so enough thought isn't always given to a will

Swipe left for the next trending thread