MIL enforced diet - I know IANBU, but I need to vent!

[winobaglady]

My in laws are lovely, I enjoy visiting them. We see them about every 3 months for a long weekend.

But oh man, at mealtimes.... she cooks a lovely dinner, dishing up tasty treats from her kitchen, but... why oh why does my DH and my FIL get 4 or 5 juicy slices of chicken breast and she dishes me and her 1 bit of breast and a thigh? Hos come the boys get 4 roast potatoes and the girls get 2? Same with veg, and desert.

And wine, if DH has a second glass - well "that''s boys". If I manage to get a second glass it's "now, you don't want to overdo it".

Argh! Just. Why?

I eat less than my DH for the average meal, but I would be furious at someone else trying to make this decision for me.

But chicken leg is nicer than breast.

(Misses point of thread)

I think this is only ok if your DH is strapping 6 foot 6 man doing physical work and your a slim 5 foot woman doing sedate computer work.

My mil once tried to get me to save half my takeaway portion of pie chips as curry sauce for the next day. I was breastfeeding feeding at the time and totally ignored her. I could have eaten double I was so hungry.

I eat significant smaller portions than DH, who is physically larger than me (even though I probably move around a lot more than him during the day). No way could I eat his portion sizes.

However, I'd be mightily miffed if someone else took to overseeing our portion sizes in such a controlling fashion.

Why doesn't she just put the serving platters and bowls on the table, and let everyone help themselves, like normal people when entertaining?

People of my generation have been brought up with 'finish your plate' so many will probably force themselves to finish it,
or it could be wasted, which is terrible.

Well quite, you are projecting your own food issues onto other people via this thread.

What kind of loon prefers breast over thighs/legs?

I am that loon

Always remember my exH telling me that when he and his sister were children, they and their mother would have soup for dinner, while their father ate a roast. I was totally gobsmacked.

"you are projecting your own food issues onto other people via this thread."

Nope, 'finish your plate' is very widespread and the idea of not wasting is even more popular than before.

"Why doesn't she just put the serving platters and bowls on the table, and let everyone help themselves, like normal people when entertaining?"

I must have commented three or four times that lots of people don't have big enough tables to do that.

"I once worked on a job where the woman serving the food was like that; gave the women teeny tiny portions. "

When I was a student two of my tall male friends were routinely given free seconds/extras by the canteen staff. I found it fair enough.

People of my generation have been brought up with 'finish your plate'

and that's how I raise my own kids too BUT I don't plonk a plate full of food in front of them. You help yourself, a small portion, and if you want more you have seconds. Imposing an amount of food on anyone is ridiculous and show a complete lack of manners.

lots of people don't have big enough tables to do that

circulate the serving bowls and bring them back to the kitchen when everybody is served. It's not that hard.

" You help yourself, a small portion, and if you want more you have seconds. "

Ok you obviously have serving dishes, but lots of people do dish up in the kitchen, especially for ordinary family meals so the person dishing up will have to guess the right amount.

"circulate the serving bowls and bring them back to the kitchen when everybody is served. It's not that hard."

I've never seen that actually. I've either seen serving dishes on the table or everything dished up in the kitchen.

"that's how I raise my own kids too "

I don't think it's good. I think ideally it's better to be able to leave something if you're full. I try to do that in restaurants now, but I know a lot of people can't do it.

I would have been incensed if my 'tall male friends' had been given free food on the basis of their tall maleness.

The obvious solution to the table size is a hostess trolley

Just count yourself lucky you don't have my inlaws - everyone has a small portion! The adults portions are kids size and my DS(8) has a toddler size portion! No point asking for more as she doesn't cook any more! She knows we eat lots as always clear our plates when we go out for a meal. DH tried to have the conversation with her once but it just meant she did a couple of extra sausages 'for the table' which DH and I always let DS have and then DH and I "go for a walk" to the local chippy once DS is in bed!

I don't agree with dishing up for everybody, it's not up to me to decide how hungry people are. We rarely eat in the kitchen anyway, and I don't know many people who do. My dogs eat in the kitchen, not us!

It's rude to leave something in your plate when you are a guest, unless you are in a restaurant obviously. They have to serve the same portions to everybody and I don't eat that much.

There was a poster on another thread complaining that a child only ate one slice of pizza at dinner! I am an adult and I don't eat much more than that. I understand hungry teenagers, but young children don't need to eat that much either. you can absolutely finish your plate, just don't cram it with food in the first place.

Oh and I eat more than DH so if we were st OP's inlaws we would definitely just swap plates!

I'd rather have food left in serving bowls/ pans, leftovers to be used another day, than having food left in plates which ends up in the bin. That's also the message I giving to my kids.

you need to buy that for your MIL

portion plate

My MIL drives me mad over this.

I serve her up a portion of food - a relatively small one and she takes on look and says "I can't eat all that a lady has to watch her figure you know" then she looks at my portion and says "that's too much lists you need to watch your weight". She once actually MOVED some of my food to DP's plate.

I bite my tounge and add more food to my plate. She's nearly 90 and set in her ways. She rarely cooks for us, if we go to her,we take her out and interestingly she eats every scrap put in front of her in resturants and then asks for bread to wipe the plate. She still told me I should just have a salad rather than steak and chips though but I just ignored her!

Gwen I don't know about you, but I'd be pretty mortified if somebody left my table feeling hungry, or sat there seeing better food on other people's plates! Eating together should be a relaxed, generous affair I think. Plenty of food, wine and laughter.

Do you host people often? If so, do you consider yourself to be a good host?

Wierd and rude.

I give my dils more food to be honest as ones breastfeeding and the other is upduffed.

lists wow she took food off your plate! Good grief.

When I was a student two of my tall male friends were routinely given free seconds/extras by the canteen staff. I found it fair enough.

Not fair enough though is it? No one reasonable could ever say people in the same role, being given extra stuff for free based on their 'maleness' or their size, was fair.

But then I think the key word there might be 'reasonable'...