Does anyone remember the bride in Wales charging £££ for hotel rooms?

[cousinswedding]

I don't know of any of you will remember me. I posted months ago when my cousin was planning her wedding in a Welsh castle hundreds of miles away from where we all live. Her wedding is a three day event starting on a Thursday and she asked us to pay to stay in the rooms (£160 per night). When other pulled out she contacted us and said the rooms had gone up so were now £180 so at least £360 for accommodation but more likely three nights so £540. Just for accommodation. My mum is pressuring me to go and we have booked it and waved goodbye to the prospect of a family holiday.

Anyway- cousin and I (used to be close she's been a nightmare in all this) got together today as she wanted to come over and see my outfit for the wedding (in two weeks). She got really frosty with me as my dress is a nude colour- is this a thing?? She's asking me to change it and wear something else. The dress is new and was bought specifically for this occasion and I do have an old green one I could wear but I have worn it to another family wedding and I don't like it that much. The dress I've bought is not cream, more like a pale peach. The bride is wearing white.

I'm loathe to waste more money (can't take it back took the tags off) and resent being ordered around like this. Is nude ok for a wedding or AIBU?

Why would or should OP's Mum be charged because Gluezilla upset her daughter? Although I can easily see it coming to that, since your Mum so so wants harmony.

Is Gluezilla being like this predominantly with yourself or everyone?

Perhaps immature, but if your Mum does end up paying, you can smile to yourself as they announce Gluezilla and the Groom, to the state banqueting room. We need to send your Mum to stay with Miss Jolly for a few days, so she can learn how to stand up for you.

Well done UP for standing up for your self. Not easy.

May I suggest that you make it very clear to your mum that if she pays your share you will be upset as you will she her as supporting your cousin instead of you? Otherwise I think she will, the bride and potentially her family will definitely put the pressure on your mum. At some point your mum is going to have to pick a side, sad it's come to this but she will.

If you can only afford a cheap wedding, you have a cheap wedding.

Absolutely THIS ^^^

Our wedding was done on a tight budget - and it was lovely. I've been to others which were also economically challenged and the love and effort that has gone into them has made them wonderful.

Money thrown at a wedding does not automatically make it the best.

Love and thought and imagination - that's what makes if fab!

Please don't feel bad OP, she's has brought this on herself and you have 100% done the right thing in saying you will not attend.

Now put on your big girl pants, tell DH what has happened and that under no circumstances is he to let you back down.

Well done for standing up to this horrible woman. I am sorry you are not getting the support you deserve from your Mum. You are definitely doing the right thing by saying you are not going.

I am in shock that anyone would think charging your guests this amount of money is ok, and then to expect gifts/contributions on top beggars belief!!

one of the guests (friend of the bride) wore a shiny backless hotpant jumpsuit and long boots ! ( and it was December)

Traditional Geordie wedding-guest gear Laska.

Was it a Geordie wedding or have we managed to export our intrinsic good taste?

You dealt with this so well OP, she sounds like a nightmare! Steer clear for a while and have nothing more to do with it- it's her problem

Is she on crack?? She's behaving terribly and one day she'll look back and realise it. I feel sorry for the husband-to-be, left with a woman who clearly worries more about material possessions and creating a facade than she does about celebrating her love and commitment to a man she loves.
Don't go - instead, spend the money on some quality time with your immediate family and wear the gorgeous dress on a romantic meal with your DH.

Well done for sticking up for yourself.

Sounds like you were wearing your Wonder Woman knickers today!!

Time to book the holiday. 😎😈

If it is craig y nos castle, I've been to a wedding there. It's nice, but not £540 nice! You wouldn't have left there feeling good about that sort of spend. Stand firm - you've done the right thing.

HappyFlappy...Deepest Hertfordshire, (but I have been out in Bigg Market on a Friday night in my younger days)

Wow. Just wow. Good for you saying you aren't going OP. So many weddings are getting out of hand.

And yet you are still alive Laska

LOL

What an entitled Diva. So she's basically charged you all extortionate rates to cover the cost of the full wedding? She sounds vile. The dress colour thing is rediculous too. I bet she's jealous of you and felt you might outdo her.

I'd love to know ubergluezillias Facebook status right now 🤔🤔
'As if someone tried to wear a £19 dress to my big day how insulting ps guys it's now £200 a night!!'🤑🤑🤑
Bet that's going down a treat 😂😂😂

I'm amazed that she is expecting guests' bookings to pay for the wedding. The one we are going to where the couple have offered rooms to guests is similar in that they have to book the whole venue but they are renting the rooms out below the normal swanky rate (plus no charge for their Grandmas as it's a lot on a pension) and just viewing it as a nice little discount.

Glad we are invited to this one and not your cousin's!

If it is that castle in Wales then she is massively overcharging her guests... as the total cost per person would be £295 based on their weekend wedding package & having 50 guests giving a total cost of £14,750 much less than the £21,600 she's expecting.

I'm a nosy bitch so had a look

OP, have you made sure that you will not be billed for the room? Did you give anyone your cc info when you booked your room?

Wow i thought my sis was bad when she told me not to get my hair cut and look butch for hers. Your cousin took it to a whole new level. Well done standing up for yourself.

Your mother is an embarrassment, she's a shower! Should be ashamed of herself. I dare say I'm old enough to be of a similar age... I'd be bending her ear about this and backing you to the hil.
Do not go to this wedding. Do not listen to anyone who tries to guilt you into wasting your hard earned money on such an unworthy cause.

I think, OP, you have made the right decision.

Why is your mum behaving as she is, though? Is she intimidated by the mother of the bride, who I'm guessing is her sister?

Wow so many responses! Thank you all for the support it's making me smile, a few points to address:

The dress- Was actually £19! It's from Asos for anyone who is interested and actually despite being cheap looks quite nice in RL. I was loathe to spend £100 upwards and thought it looked nice- however obviously I was wrong. A word of warning- if any of you do buy it please don't wear it outside the house as it is an insult to anyone who sets eyes on it and may cause offence.

My mum - she is very close to her sister (cousin's mother) and obsessed with "family getting on". I think she takes our relationship for granted and doesn't realise the extent to which cousin has been tormenting me. She's on not backburner for now. I've told her in no uncertain terms NOT to give money to cover our room to cousin, and I don't think my mum could afford to anyway.

DH is obviously delighted we don't have to go.

Cousin has deleted me on Facebook! However not DH so I can still see what she posts. A mutual friend messaged me saying she had heard one side of events and asked if I was OK she also said she is worried about costs going up! The mind boggles.

I'm ignoring my missed calls...

I haven't given card details or anything so definitely won't be billed for the room I just hope my mum doesn't try and cover it or I will be raging with the cousin.

The dress- Was actually £19!

Wow! It looks amazing - that's why I thought your cousin was being sarcastic about it!

"Tellingly she said cousin is upset at the moment as she and her fiancé are clashing over the wedding plans!"

I wonder if the wedding will actually go ahead. It sounds like she is more interested in the wedding and being the centre of attention than actually being married.

Does your mother actually know how unpleasant the bridezilla has been towards you? Did you show her the texts? Does she know how much of a financial strain it is for you?

And, I think you should show your husband the texts. It sounds like he will back you up.

Basically she behaves like this because everyone is tiptoing around her and allowing her to get away with it. She is being shirty with you because you are standing up to her and she doesn't like it. I wouldn't be surprised if more people drop out.