Does anyone remember the bride in Wales charging £££ for hotel rooms?

[cousinswedding]

I don't know of any of you will remember me. I posted months ago when my cousin was planning her wedding in a Welsh castle hundreds of miles away from where we all live. Her wedding is a three day event starting on a Thursday and she asked us to pay to stay in the rooms (£160 per night). When other pulled out she contacted us and said the rooms had gone up so were now £180 so at least £360 for accommodation but more likely three nights so £540. Just for accommodation. My mum is pressuring me to go and we have booked it and waved goodbye to the prospect of a family holiday.

Anyway- cousin and I (used to be close she's been a nightmare in all this) got together today as she wanted to come over and see my outfit for the wedding (in two weeks). She got really frosty with me as my dress is a nude colour- is this a thing?? She's asking me to change it and wear something else. The dress is new and was bought specifically for this occasion and I do have an old green one I could wear but I have worn it to another family wedding and I don't like it that much. The dress I've bought is not cream, more like a pale peach. The bride is wearing white.

I'm loathe to waste more money (can't take it back took the tags off) and resent being ordered around like this. Is nude ok for a wedding or AIBU?

Well done, OP. I'm sorry you've had a fall out with your cousin, but she did bring it upon herself. She's clearly trying to make money out of her guests, too, overcharging you for rooms, which is just a horrible thing to do.
ChortledTheLion, I wish the cousin would read about your wedding (which sounds brilliant) and understand that is what she ought to be doing, as the host.

It sounds to me like someone has committed to a wedding they can't really afford. Money/money problems does very strange things to people. I feel for you, really do.

I had a similar thing last year, and in the end I told the bride that she either had to accept my spending cap - or accept that I was going to have to find a B&B. She obviously agreed, as without my booking she lost the £ on the room!

"She wanted the dream wedding in the beautiful castle but couldn't afford it so she is getting everyone else to sub it."

When we got married the castle venue came with accommodation for 40, and if you wanted exclusive use you had to book it all.

DH and I did not ask for a single penny for rooms, as it would have felt like our guests were paying for our choice to book a whole venue and grounds. If we could not have afforded the accommodation attached we would not have requested exclusive use. OP YADNBU

my mum is saying I should have just put up with it for the sake of a few days

Yes, I was afraid of that. Frankly I'd expect better from your DM, and anyway what the hell was your cousin doing, running round to auntie to whinge about you?? Deeply unpleasant behaviour from both of them, if I can say so without rudeness

A very wise friend once told me that, when you're bashing your head against a wall, it's sometimes best - rather than ignoring the pain - just to walk away from the wall. Worth bearing in mind, perhaps?

Oh, and as for the £540 she'll now have to cover ... tough; she should have thought of that before behaving as she did

I am pretty sure that the cousin has a wedding package, for the hire of the whole castle inc rooms, wedding banquet, room hire etc and has divided it out across the number of guests. So the guests are paying for the cousins wedding. She will either have to make up the shortfall (i.e pay for her own wedding) or put up the cost to the other guests. I thought I read up thread that as people drop out, the remaining guests costs go up. Therefore this Bridezilla is getting her wedding FREE.

Just as a matter of rude interest(from someone whose wedding 20 odd years ago was less than £500 inc dress) Has anyone have an idea of what it costs for a whole castle wedding package for 3 days?

This is aynhoepark.co.uk/exclusive-hire/weddings/ £20k or something not including food.
But it would be every pintrest dream made real.

I dont believe that this woman is allowed to treat the OP like crap, insult her dress and even the OPs own mother takes bridezilla from hells side.

Who would put up with that?! Just tell her to go fuck herself.

I wore a 7 year old dress to the last wedding I went to, I didn't know I was commenting on their relationship by not buying an expensive one.

As far as I know their still together.

Oh no I lied... £35k - Friday evening to Sunday....

Another gluezilla

Well done op

glittery..

It says on their website 'An extraordinary marriage begins in an extraordinary wedding venue. '

I am not saying our way was better than a big bash, it was just what we wanted and could afford.. Our £500 wedding was a registry office in a dour 1960s council office, followed party for about 40 in our back garden.. ( with 'marquee' aka garden gazebo). but we had lots of lush food (made ourselves ) and champagne.. I wore a silk Monsoon dress, I bought from ebay for £80.. The weather (July) was stunning, luckily .

I am not sure what constitutes an extraordinary marriage , but we are very happy 24 years on..

Well done OP. Do NOT back down. Do NOT apologise. Do OT pay for the room. You have done nothing wrong.

Oh and btw, your dress is gorgeous.

*NOT not ot, lol.

my mum is saying I should have just put up with it for the sake of a few days

Well heavens, you did try! Your cousin has upped the aggro at every stage. She has only herself to blame for pushing you beyond endurance.

Your mother sounds very passive-she was right there, why is she blaming you when you were not the person who was being unreasonable?

Can't believe the cheek of your cousin!
I would also like to know where the dress is from!

This thread is crazy. The bride is clearly on something. She will live to regret her behaviour when everyone drops out...

I am absolutely cheering you on here OP - your cousin thinks she's putting on an 'event' is she fucking insane?! She's getting married!

Watch out for when she has to cancel it because so many people are dropping out she can't afford it . She's ridiculous.

It says on their website 'An extraordinary marriage begins in an extraordinary wedding venue.'

I'm only aware of it because it appears on the council licenced wedding premises. I worked my way through the entire list to see what was available.

The fact that other people have "let her down" come to their senses screams a lot. She's loosing control of this wedding and she's fraying at the edges.

Probably for the best that your 'friendship' with your cousin is over. When she has kids, she will start making demands on Christmas presents and birthday parties. You got out nice and early!!

Any criticism of your dress, any commentary linking its price to your thoughts on her relationship is utterly mad. You cannot, in conscience, do this your yourself and your immediate family. Your mother should have been able to tone down her behaviour. Also, let you DH know what she said. Its offensive and its odd that her wedding is now a favour to you all.

OP your extended family will be cheering you on from the sidelines for having the courage of your convictions. They'll be wishing they did as well.

Think this bridezilla is the mother of all bridezillas and we need a new term. Bridezilla just doesn't cut it in this case.