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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think DD's punishment from PE teacher was draconian?

867 replies

moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 17:15

DD is in Year 10 and came home quite annoyed about a punishment she got in PE for something very minor in the first place. Her teacher made her get changed into her PE kit at lunchtime (without any tracksuit in the cold wet weather), and run laps around the football pitch for all but the last 15 minutes of the break (so she could eat), much of it whilst the boys were having football practice, who apparently found it quite funny. Is it overreacting to think this is a bit out of order? I might not have been surprised when I was at school but I can't help be a bit annoyed, seems a bit like it was intended to embarrass her and unnecessary.

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Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 19:46

lljkk not freezing cold and yes it got up to 7-8, but she asked to wear a tracksuit and wasn't allowed to, tracksuit is part of the PE kit so I can't see why she couldn't unless she was actually competing.

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Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 19:47

Thank you OnHold.

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melj1213 · 01/03/2017 19:48

The teacher must have known she'd find it embarrassing.

Sometimes that can't be helped and if a student gets embarrassed during a punishment and it makes them think twice about doing it again, well then it's a good side consequence.

It's like when I used to work in a Spanish primary school, if a child couldn't behave in PE or Music or some other class where they had a different teacher then they would be expected to stay with their class teacher and do some extra written work ... and if that meant a 10 yo Quinto student had to accompany their class teacher to their class with the 5yo Primaria students, then so be it. If they were embarrassed at having to go to a class full of 5 year olds and other people knew about it, well that can't be helped as it is the only option.

SootyShearwater · 01/03/2017 19:49

about a quarter probably agree I'm not being unreasonable and so I don't think I am.

What about the 3/4 who think you are being unreasonable? Are their opinions just to be cast aside because you don't happen to like them? Hmm

MrsT2007 · 01/03/2017 19:50

If I run for 15 minutes I'd boil on a tracksuit

If she plays hockey regularly then she'd better get used to things being more grown up. Adult training will maybe involve men's and ladies teams on same night. Male coaches. Mixed teams. They'll all see her in her skort and shirt, running.

She may also have a coach like mine who made us do laps or crunches if we didn't try. And we were at training voluntarily.....

SoupDragon · 01/03/2017 19:51

As it happens about a quarter probably agree I'm not being unreasonable and so I don't think I am.

and therefore 3/4 disagree with you and think you are unreasonable. Yet you are ignoring those to go with the minority who agree with you.

[shrug]

Emeraude · 01/03/2017 19:57

I am a teacher and would find this punishment, for the length of time it was, inappropriate, and would be tempted to very politely ask for further details from a more senior member of staff. If your daughter has asked you not to though, then perhaps it would be better just to keep a record of it and see if anything similar happens again.

An agency PE coach (primary level) gave a physical punishment at my school and was dismissed immediately, but the children are obviously much younger.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 01/03/2017 19:57

Oh bollocks. Yet another 'Teenage Boys are Sexual Deviants, Teenage Girls Are Precious Angels" thread. Funny how your daughter is' lippy' enough to disrupt an entire class but not 'lippy' enough to refuse being degraded in this way. One of you is exaggerating what happened.

MumUndone · 01/03/2017 19:58

Oh get a grip. Nothing wrong with running laps as a punishment.

fullofhope03 · 01/03/2017 19:59

I agree with Astoria7974. Hopefully your daughter will behave with more regard for her peers and teacher/s in future after this punishment.

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 20:00

Thank you Emeraude, very helpful to get a teacher's perspective as well. That's what I think as well, the original punishment was more than acceptable, but the next was over the top and inappropriate in the form it took.

I think due to the volume of people who think the punishment was completely fine I will leave it, especially as she's not a girl who gets in trouble much and I hope the original punishment in class which she found embarrassing will stop her answering back/being cheeky too much, but I will keep a note of what happened and discuss it with my husband.

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OnHold · 01/03/2017 20:00

According to some on this thread she should just shut up and accept all that happened to her.

Not a lesson I want my daughter's to learn

SootyShearwater · 01/03/2017 20:00

Funny how your daughter is' lippy' enough to disrupt an entire class but not 'lippy' enough to refuse being degraded in this way. One of you is exaggerating what happened.

This ^^ Exactly!

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 20:02

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess I don't see why it's surprising a girl who might be cheeky at times has to find something like that totally easy to deal with. I never said she or any girl is an "angel", far from it, nor any boy was a "sexual deviant" Hmm

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Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 20:03

Do you really think it's necessarily easy for a 14 year old girl to answer back to a group of boys (or girls for that matter if it had been) two years older than her when she feels embarrassed?

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Megatherium · 01/03/2017 20:05

Check the school's discipline and equality policies. I suspect you may find that this episode doesn't comply, in which case it would be worth making a formal complaint. Somehow it's always PE teachers who are dead keen on enforcing rules against pupils but don't think that rules apply to them.

Somerville · 01/03/2017 20:07

You're the one who cast doubt on what she said, not me, OP. Maybe you didn't mean to, but by writing 'along the lines of' it seemed unclear whether those comments had been actually made, or whether you were assuming something like that had been said from her demeanour.

FWIW you should talk her (gently) into reporting the comments. They're not acceptable at any time and in any place.

But you need to continue to back the school up about consequences. You said she's received some milder punishments - clearly they haven't worked with this teacher, so she's trying something less mild - though nor is it extreme. Lunchtime laps is a common punishment for bad behaviour in PE at both my older DC's senior schools. Actually at DC2's school they have to do them for forgetting kit 3 times in a term, too.

SootyShearwater · 01/03/2017 20:07

The issue of any comments made by the boys is separate from the punishment. I don't believe for one minute that the teacher planned for your daughter to have to run in front of the boys to humiliate her. The boys happened to be there and, if they made inappropriate comments whilst she was running past them, then you need to raise that with the school. You are confusing the issues at play here.

Limitededition7inch · 01/03/2017 20:07

The OP has actually graciously admitted she thinks she will leave it, which moat of us think is sensible. We don't need to continue flaming.

OP, I would however have a full discussion with her on how to deal with the boys' comments, mind. Put her punishment aside and teach her to move on, but the sexualised comments aren't on. If she needs to complain to staff talk to her about separating the issue of her punishment from their comments. Of course in my day I would have probably kneed a boy in his goolies if he'd said that to me, but I appreciate this is now not the solution.

IamFriedSpam · 01/03/2017 20:08

If I run for 15 minutes I'd boil on a tracksuit Most people wouldn't. I run for an hour and in this weather definitely wear a tracksuit!

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 20:09

Thanks for the comments OnHold and Megatherium. I'm sure it does go against their policies but she'd be horrified if I said anything to the school about comments from boys in the fear it'd get back to them she said something.

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JakeBallardswife · 01/03/2017 20:09

You've said your DD said she wasn't that lippy but it may be that she was over a few instances or that it was more serious than she is letting on. She wasn't ridiculed, she was made to sit in silence and then exercise in her lunch hour. At least its hopefully made her think about what she's doing in future in some lessons. Perhaps a stronger punishment may mean she has a better attitude to learning ? I'd leave it, if you wade in now, you'll lose any effect this will have on her. She's old enough to back chat then she's old enough to accept the consequences.

IamFriedSpam · 01/03/2017 20:10

She should have definitely been allowed to wear the tracksuit - if she didn't feel comfortable in less clothes (and she obviously had good reason not to feel comfortable!). If I was DD I'd have gone straight in after the sexualised comments. No one has to stay in that situation.

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 01/03/2017 20:13

Running laps to catch up on missed PE is not the same thing as being made to run laps because you forgot your maths homework.

In my son's school he would have been given an after school detention for forgetting his maths homework, he would not have been made to do extra maths, the loss of his own time is the punishment. The loss of her own time should have been the punishment, not been made to run around the field during it.

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 20:13

Limitededition thank you. Yes I do feel I'd like to talk to her more about those comments, I did say it was unacceptable but she didn't want to say any more about them and clearly found it embarrassing, just said she absolutely didn't want me to say anything at all about them, so I'll think about how to talk to her about them. I also made it clear I supported the original punishment and as I've said many times, have always backed up the school to her. In this instance I fully supported the original punishment she got and didn't once say to her I thought the second one was unreasonable, posting here about it doesn't mean I told her she was totally in the right.

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