To think DD's punishment from PE teacher was draconian?

[moonlightshadow1]

DD is in Year 10 and came home quite annoyed about a punishment she got in PE for something very minor in the first place. Her teacher made her get changed into her PE kit at lunchtime (without any tracksuit in the cold wet weather), and run laps around the football pitch for all but the last 15 minutes of the break (so she could eat), much of it whilst the boys were having football practice, who apparently found it quite funny. Is it overreacting to think this is a bit out of order? I might not have been surprised when I was at school but I can't help be a bit annoyed, seems a bit like it was intended to embarrass her and unnecessary.

JakeBallardswife yes I do largely agree. I have no problem with her being made to sit in silence in front of her class, in fact that probably was a good punishment, she was cheeky/talked back, was made to sit out in front of everyone having to do something embarrassing, which the class probably found funny. I do think she generally has a good attitude though, but deserves to face the consequences when she doesn't.

IamFriedSpam I agree, but I don't think she'd have walked in about that, as she's not a badly behaved girl on the whole, and knew by then she wasn't getting out of the punishment given.

My ds does martial arts class. They do similar punishments.
First, children will be made to sit on the side. If they behave, they will be allowed back. If not, given further punishments, like running/ push ups etc.
I think punishment was totally acceptable.
You just seems to make everything into something that doesn't exist.
I really doubt the teacher's intention was to embarrass her in front of boys. It' was just a session to make up for missed PE.

This is exactly the punishment one of my friends got, aged 15, for messing around and giggling in class. Only she had to do it when there was snow on the ground. I don't think it's over the top to be honest.

Teen DS doesn't really backchat yet to teachers but he so does to me. I think you're dealing with it well. To me 13/14 seems still quite young and I often have trouble remembering that in the grand scheme of things schools tend to handle these sorts of things fairly well. DS recently got a class detention for something others in his class were doing. I didn't find this fair, but I did bite my tongue. He then told me that lots of parents had emailed in to complain!

Actually re reading the thread op and having just had a look at my old high school behaviour policy. I'm more inclined to think the teachers whole discipline procedure wasn't appropriate. Can you view your schools policy online? At my old school, a verbal warning was first (I'm guessing your dd had this) timeout could also be used but no more than a few minutes, continued bad behaviour a negative comment, futher bad behaviour a second negative comment which meant removal from class by slt.
All detentions took place in supervised detention rooms.

Teachers who didn't follow protocol, were the ones with the least classroom control and would often lose it, keeping whole classes behind or trying to dish out detention without warning etc. It was a much bigger reflection on their teaching ability than the pupils behaviour though.

I got to page 5 before i got fed up of the OP minimusing her DDs behaviour and harping on about running in front of boys

If you dont want your child to be near boys send her to a girls school.

I really doubt her actual vehaviour was as she told you. It was probably worse.

Do your DD a favour and tell her good you hopes she has learned her lesson and wont back chat teachers again.

I would be so angry if this was my dd. Physical punishment should not be used. Also I run 3 times a week and even though running warms me up I still need running tights and gloves. I would complain and ask to be updated with the investigation into it.

Nothing to add that hasnt been said but wanted to say, not all teenagers are rude. Not even the majority of teens are rude at school.

JakeBallardswife thank you. My son doesn't backtalk at school either (at least I've never been informed of it) but has done with me and his dad, not too often though! I've heard from others of class detentions being given as well, always struck me as a bit harsh but I suppose it's tough for teachers especially if they don't know who misbehaved in a particular instance.

Emboo thanks for the suggestion, yes I can view her school's policy online and think I will for reference. Interesting to hear what happened at your school, I think the first half of the punishment she got, in the class, was fair enough, just the second not handled well. I'm going to leave it though and not complain but will be worth having a look at the discipline policy so I know a bit more about it.

OP as you say, it wasn't the crime of the century. Therefore the teacher clearly didn't give her the punishment of the century. Tell your DD that if she doesn't want detention she shouldn't piss her teachers off.

They made us do all kinds of crap when I was at school as well, including keeping a register of our periods and making us drop our towels in front of the teachers to make sure we weren't going in the communal showers in our towels and just splashing our arms. I hated PE and avoided any sport for years. It was also quite a few years ago and we've hopefully moved on.

I think if the whole story is true, the intention was clearly to humiliate her. I have always worked in inner London with countless difficult children (just today one was throwing chairs and trying to set off the fire extinguisher) and I am pretty strict, but I couldn't imagine ever dealing with behaviour by deliberately destroying a relationship.

We're you in the classroom? Sookie?

Why do posters just make shit up on here in order to flame an OP?

Op- she hasn't been physically punished. It was a pe lesson and she was running. The fact there were other students around is irrelevant. Tell her not to be cheeky and actions have consequences. Parents want to protect, sounding off on the internet is a good way to deal with things - question things - (in your own head). But don't give her the message you support her, or that she should be aggrieved by being made to do the activity in a pe lesson (detention). You wouldn't complain about writing in English, or doing sums in maths. It really isn't different.

OnHold

Wind your neck in.
I have not made anything up I said I doubt.

Learn to understand english dear

I know at my school we'd never be made to sit at the side throughout the whole lesson, we may have been removed though, phase 2 rooms they were called. Also the reason would have been recorded in your planner so parents would know what you'd done.
It was/is a very good school, with outstanding ofsted.

Yanbu OP. Surprised so many are ok with this. Im a lot older than your dd. If someone made me do this i'd want to curl up and die. Horrendous situation for a teacher to put a pupil in whether by accident or design I would query this with the school

Why didn't she tell the teacher to not so politely get lost. My PE teacher was the same and tried to hand out similar punishments but I always told her where to go, then got my mum to back me up.

How unpopular were you and your Mum?

She was teaching you not to accept discipline when you were in the wrong and that you could do what you like and she'd always try and get you off the hook.

Is it possible your daughter doesn't want you to talk to the school as there may be a little more to it than you've been told? I know I was prone to exaggeration when I was a teen and telling my parents how unfair life was.....
I also think the punishment fitted the crime - she was made to make up missing PE - don't see the issue at all.

Mysteriouscurle, do you actually realise this wouldn't have happened if op's dd hasn't misbehaved?

Thank you for the support Mysteriouscurle.

CherryBlossomPink I meant she didn't want me to talk to the school about the comments from boys, sorry to be unclear. I wouldn't have given her the impression I'd talk to the school about a punishment a teacher has given her as I don't want her to think she can just come to me or her dad and complain and we'll side with her, and in fact told her the first bit of the punishment in the lesson was entirely fair.

Thank you very much for the support. I'm also aware I may not be being totally objective myself when talking about my own kids, though I try to be! I was also shocked at those who couldn't understand how it could feel for a teenage girl in that situation, especially the one who thought it was totally fine and compared it to kids all doing the same sport in the same setting of a club. As you say sexual harassment of girls in schools is well documented and this she found upsetting.

I think I won't say anything to the school about the punishment itself, as it's done now and as I said the punishment in the lesson I've already backed up to her and do feel was fair enough. I'm also not sure she'd necessarily want me making a fuss, she was just moaning about it as many kids do if they get punished. It's nice to get such a message though and reassuring you'd also not be impressed by a teacher who did what my daughter's PE teacher did.
(Post edited by MNHQ)

Haven't RTFT. I think it's extremely tactless on the teacher's part, seems quite spiteful TBH. I was in good shape and school and had lots of friends but I was still very self conscious at that age around the boys if we were doing P.E. It melted away if we were doing joint games but if we were doing something separate but were visible, or another class could see, I understand how mortifying it could be.

As a previous poster said, the way our society and culture is, once girls hit puberty that in itself is very discouraging to them to continue physical activities, and I don't know how you could work in a secondary school and not be aware of that. The truth is, I probably wouldn't be doing anything about it, but I would be telling my DD I thought it was unfair and consoling her a bit, whilst telling her that just because the punishment doesn't fit the crime, she is still in the wrong as well for being cheeky, and she needs to drop her attitude with this teacher. It sounds like they have a bit of a backstory.

Funny I didn't get to read Talkinginthedark's post before I posted, but yes that's exactly how I felt as a teenage girl! Doing a game together was fine, but being spectated upon was very different and I wouldn't feel confident/happy at all!