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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DD's punishment from PE teacher was draconian?

867 replies

moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 17:15

DD is in Year 10 and came home quite annoyed about a punishment she got in PE for something very minor in the first place. Her teacher made her get changed into her PE kit at lunchtime (without any tracksuit in the cold wet weather), and run laps around the football pitch for all but the last 15 minutes of the break (so she could eat), much of it whilst the boys were having football practice, who apparently found it quite funny. Is it overreacting to think this is a bit out of order? I might not have been surprised when I was at school but I can't help be a bit annoyed, seems a bit like it was intended to embarrass her and unnecessary.

OP posts:
MycatsaPirate · 01/03/2017 19:31

I would suggest you speak to the actual teacher concerned and possibly her head of year and find out the teachers' version of events. I expect your DD is being pretty economical with the truth.

Also if the teacher had allowed her to take part and then say, put her in detention, then it would hardly have been much of a punishment. The teacher has made a point to the whole class that this level of disruption won't be tolerated.

I have an 18 year old who went all through primary and secondary school with a perfect unblemished record but got into sixth form and decided that she would start giving attitude to the staff and teachers including walking out of lessons and answering back. I had endless meetings with the school and made it clear to my DD that I was on the schools side, they are there to provide her with an education! They are not there to get attitude from teens who think they are 'all that'. We got there in the end but it took me and the school providing a united front to show that her behaviour was unacceptable and wouldn't be tolerated.

As for the boys, well maybe a word with the school to ask if a general letter/talk can be done to inform them that low level sexual harrassment isn't acceptable and won't be tolerated either.

Nomoreworkathome · 01/03/2017 19:31

Topaz
The DD was punished appropriately by having to catch up on work she missed which in this case was PE

Why do you not understand that?

Chippednailvarnishing · 01/03/2017 19:32

She disrupted a PE lesson, she had to do extra PE.

What do people not understand??

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 19:32

SoupDragon to see what people thought as I usually side with teachers on punishments etc. As it happens about a quarter probably agree I'm not being unreasonable and so I don't think I am.

OP posts:
cauliwobbles · 01/03/2017 19:32

Obviously her boobs bouncing about drew the comments about getting a better sports bra. Take the hint.

Do you live in the 1960s?

Eolian · 01/03/2017 19:33

There is nothing inherently wrong with a girl 'running around in front of boys'. If the boys are making audible sexist remarks, they should be punished, as they should be at any time, not just because a girl is running around. Do you think there would be anything wrong with a boy 'running around in front of girls'? Boys and girls run around in PE or other sport.

underneaththeash · 01/03/2017 19:33

I'd be really upset if my child had disrupted a lesson. Back the teacher up and tell your child to behave in future.

BeaveredBadgered · 01/03/2017 19:34

It sounds like a harsh punishment to me. Is it a standard punishment that others in your DDs class have been given for messing about in PE? I think it's more acceptable if students know where they stand and what the resultant punishment will be. Was it her first 'offence' during the class?

melj1213 · 01/03/2017 19:34

Topaz, she wasn't given physical exercise as punishment!

She was made to do the physical exercise that she should have done in her PE lesson, under detention conditions, to bring her up to the expected level for that week.

Running laps to catch up on missed PE is not the same thing as being made to run laps because you forgot your maths homework.

Limitededition7inch · 01/03/2017 19:35

OP, you clearly think YANBU, so really: why ask?

Go and complain as you obviously intend. 90% of posters think YABU and your daughter should just suck it up. Yes comments from boys may have been humiliating but the teacher did not invite or facilitate those. I really really despise the term special snowflake but the more parents complain about every punishment the more this will become a thing. Teach her in life that sometimes you just need to accept your punishment, shut up, and if you don't like the idea of being humiliated then you need to stop giving lip back. Work, university and general life won't accept you being a stroppy madam so why should a school?

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 19:35

MycatsaPirate fair point about teenagers not always giving the full story, but I think she is in this case, she admitted talking and not sitting still/quietly etc in the first place. She is adamant she wouldn't want me to talk to the school about any such comments from boys and was quite embarrassed telling me about it, she very much didn't want to and asked me to promise not to say anything. She knows I'm always on the "school's side" if she's ever complained about being told off or a minor punishment before.

OP posts:
AllllGooone · 01/03/2017 19:35

Its the odd humiliation aspect of it I can't wrap my head around. The teacher must have known she'd find it embarrassing. Bit odd. Of course she shouldn't be talking back, but you know that.

JamDonutsRule · 01/03/2017 19:37

I think running laps is a reasonable punishment if she is not being harassed by the boys, can wear the right clothing for the weather and still gets time for lunch.

It's possible the teacher made her run around the boys field as that's the only place there was a teacher to supervise??

SingingSands · 01/03/2017 19:37

Was it rain

JamDonutsRule · 01/03/2017 19:37

^ and also if the number of laps match her fitness level!

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 19:37

cauliwobbles her boobs wouldn't need to be "bouncing around" for some boys of 15/16 to make comments, this kind of thing happens. She plays sport regularly and is perfectly happy with her sports bra, I don't think teenage boys are experts on what constitutes a good one either Hmm

OP posts:
Somerville · 01/03/2017 19:38

I didn't insinuate she was making things up; I was unsure whether she really had experienced those comments because you were unsure yourself - you said:

she didn't want to tell me in full and I haven't pushed her to, buit they were along the lines of...

But as PPs have pointed out, you've decided you're not being unreasonable and nothing we say will make you feel differently.

OnHold · 01/03/2017 19:40

Nothing some of you say. Some of us agree with the OP.

cauliwobbles · 01/03/2017 19:40

Don't promise not to tell the school about the comments. It's time to show your daughter that there's a time and place to be stand up for herself in the face of sexist comments. Don't whinge about the teachers inappropriate punishment, use this as a lesson that the punishment was right but the comments were very very wrong.

Emboo19 · 01/03/2017 19:41

She missed gymnastics so surely she should have had to do gymnastics not running!!
Op, it's a outdated and cruel punishment and I'm betting it will not form part of the schools behaviour policy. I'd most definitely be asking to see the policy and ask the head of year what would be standard punishment in this case.

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 19:41

I clearly didn't say I was unsure, I said she didn't tell me in full everything they said because she didn't want to. That's what she would tell me they said. I don't actually mind anyone's comments on this thread, the honesty is fair enough and I probably won't complain or ask the school anything given the volume of people who think it was fair enough, but I'm still uncomfortable. You however I find quite unpleasant and very unkind and insensitive towards a teenage girl, casting doubt on what she's said, the only one in this thread who has actually annoyed me. Everyone else, fair enough, I get why people think she deserved the punishment in its entirity.

OP posts:
lljkk · 01/03/2017 19:43

How cold was it where you are today, moonlight?

I was running around outside today in similar clothes to what you describe. tbf, the temp got up to 7-8 deg C. Monday was warmer but I got soaked & caught in a hailstorm on my run, urk.

OnHold · 01/03/2017 19:44

You get on better in life and work if you can stand up for yourself.

I'd never teach my DDs to blindly accept things that they think are wrong and shut up

Jojoanna · 01/03/2017 19:45

I don't think any woman or girl should have sexist comments said about her by a group of boys. It would be unacceptable in the workplace.

greathat · 01/03/2017 19:45

I don't like, but hopefully she won't answer back next time, which is kind of the point. Teenagers answering back are one of the things that make teachers life miserable, tell her she shouldn't have done it, she chose to it, she accepts the consequences. Such is life