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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DD's punishment from PE teacher was draconian?

867 replies

moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 17:15

DD is in Year 10 and came home quite annoyed about a punishment she got in PE for something very minor in the first place. Her teacher made her get changed into her PE kit at lunchtime (without any tracksuit in the cold wet weather), and run laps around the football pitch for all but the last 15 minutes of the break (so she could eat), much of it whilst the boys were having football practice, who apparently found it quite funny. Is it overreacting to think this is a bit out of order? I might not have been surprised when I was at school but I can't help be a bit annoyed, seems a bit like it was intended to embarrass her and unnecessary.

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnishing · 01/03/2017 18:31

Teachers damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I bet the OP would be the first in the queue if a badly behaved teen was "messing around and talking" when her DC was trying to learn.

SewMeARiver · 01/03/2017 18:32

I wonder where this assumption comes from that teenagers are morons who are unable to control their tempers and their attitudes and are expected to behave badly? And everyone including underpaid teachers should just say 'oh she's juuuuusssst a teeeeeenager. She's 'lippy' but that's ok?' Presumably not everyone in the class is lippy?

Frankly, when my ds comes home saying he didn't have a great maths lesson because the teacher was interrupted upteenth times by 'lippy' teens, like your daughter, I am not amused. And it's nearly always the same children. I guess their parents are as casual as you are about it.

YABU the teacher was right in this instance, purely because it appears your daughter was previously warned.

Lilypurple · 01/03/2017 18:35

I see nothing wrong with the punishment. Just how many times had she been told off? How many lessons is she attention seeking with being lippy? Teachers don't usually go from zero to a hundred without provocation. I wonder if the teacher is trying to nip her attitude in the bud before they find themselves wasting half a lesson telling the kids to stop talking/ messing around.

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 18:36

I didn't mean to minimise being "lippy" and have said numerous times since that her being punished is fine, it's the punishment itself I'm taking issue with. She can't be that bad as, as I've also said, she usually gets good feedback and reports from her teachers, is doing well generally and when she's complained to me about being told of or punished in any way I've never done anything but taken the school/teacher's side before Hmm

To say that some teenagers/children do answer back isn't saying it's alright. I still don't think making a young girl run around in front of boys as part of her punishment is acceptable.

OP posts:
paddlenorapaddle · 01/03/2017 18:40

Your punishments don't seem to work do they she's just learnt a valuable lesson and by the sounds of it the teacher has had enough lip for one day

I might not be too happy about it but I wouldn't complain or let DD know I felt that way people will only tolerate so much crap

Being a teacher does not mean you have to take more then your fair share of it for someone's precious darling I suspect the only way to get your daughter to behave is peer pressure and that's what this teacher is using

OneOfTheGrundys · 01/03/2017 18:40

She's in Year 10, not Year 7. I don't think the punishment was unreasonable.

Freddorika · 01/03/2017 18:41

Why is running 'in front of boys' any kind of big deal whatsoever!? Jesus.

FrancisCrawford · 01/03/2017 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lunde · 01/03/2017 18:42

Do the boys never see girls in PE kit in lessons then? Is there a divider between girls and boys during PE, My dds always had mixed PE in secondary so I don't see this as an issue

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 18:44

She had already been punished during the lesson. She had to sit on the floor on her own by the side in front of the class with her legs crossed and legs crossed, she said the teacher said "as you can't sit still in silence when told", she complained this was embarrassing, I told her it probably was but the teacher had reason to make her do it. She was then further punished by having to do laps as she sat out most of the PE lesson, not being allowed to wear tracksuit (which as I said she asked to wear), and having to specifically do it around a football pitch the boys were training on, which clearly had potential to be very uncomfortable and embarrassing for a teenage girl, and it was.

Being punished for answering a teacher back or talking when a teacher is/being disruptive is not only acceptable but necessary. Being humiliated for it isn't.

OP posts:
Jojoanna · 01/03/2017 18:44

I agree making a young girl run around in front of boys is humiliating .

MrsGuyOfGisbo · 01/03/2017 18:45

It seems as if the OP has decided to big up the 'boys watching/humiliation' as a stick to beat the school with.
If the girl's own mother is describing her a 'a bit lippy' you can bet she is a right pain. Maybe she is getting on ok with her own work, but what about those others' whose work is affected by disruption?
Always amazed me how some parents assume it is all about their own precious kid, and the others don't matter.

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 18:47

I'm surprised people can't see how it could be uncomfortable for a teenage girl, who hears boys making sexualised comments about girls regularly and has started to receive them from men in the street, to have to run around in front of boys as a punishment. The issue isn't just being in a PE kit in front of them it's the form of her being punished and them having a kick around in between drills and being able to have a laugh at her expense, which they did.

OP posts:
MakeItStopNeville · 01/03/2017 18:49

Would you complain if she had a detention for being lippy in maths that involved her doing extra maths work? She disrupted the PE class so got extra PE. I don't see an issue at all and I would have told my kids to get on with it and not to be rude to their teachers in future.

hmcAsWas · 01/03/2017 18:49

Punishment a bit insensitive perhaps (humiliation factor for a 14 year old girl - I have a Y10 dd and she would hate this) - but I think that its best to move on and forget about it - I wouldn't complain as it was a one off

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 18:50

MrsGuyOfGisbo I've said numerous times children who talk back or disrupt a teacher's lesson should be punished in some way as I told her too Hmm I doubt she's a "right pain" when she gets regularly good feedback and report from teachers but thanks for that. I described her as "a bit lippy" to show I'm not deluded in thinking my kids are always in the right, which seems to have been leapt upon to show she's some constantly disruptive pupil who is a nightmare. What have I said that in any way implies I think it's "all about my precious kid"?

OP posts:
SewMeARiver · 01/03/2017 18:50

So when given the initial punishment and requested to sit quietly, she still felt the need to vocally protest?

And now you are both suprised at the necessity for further punishment being given?

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 01/03/2017 18:51

Either the teacher is an unreasonable arsehole or your DD isn't giving you the full story.
You're not supposed to like a punishment, that's the point. I bet she won't "be lippy" or answer back again though.

Trifleorbust · 01/03/2017 18:52

If the running was what she should have been doing during PE, that's fine. If it is physical exercise as punishment (not just her making up the activity in her own time because she couldn't follow instructions during the lesson) then I would have a problem with it.

Trifleorbust · 01/03/2017 18:53

She had already been punished during the lesson. She had to sit on the floor on her own by the side in front of the class with her legs crossed and legs crossed, she said the teacher said "as you can't sit still in silence when told"

Not really a punishment. That is just the teacher removing her from the situation where she was disrupting his lesson.

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 18:54

The PE lesson was gymnastics in a sports hall not running laps outdoors. Of course you're not supposed to like a punishment, which is why I have no problem with the punishment in the lesson or having to do extra gym for missing it, that isn't what happened.

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Chippednailvarnishing · 01/03/2017 18:54

She didn't do what she was told, therefore she's chosen to be punished. If she doesn't like the punishment, then maybe next time she'll behave.

As for the sexualised comments, as it's occuring regularly, what action have school taken when you have complained?

Cuppaoftea · 01/03/2017 18:55

Op you are turning this in to something it wasn't, basically saying the teacher set out to sexually humiliate your child. I'm sure she didn't and that the school would give that suggestion short shrift.

There's nothing wrong in instructing your daughter to run in her standard sports kit alongside an already organised practice. It could have been girls hockey another lunchtime.

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 18:55

No SewMeARiver she was given the initial punishment and made to sit in silence, then told after the lesson she would have to do laps as she hadn't done the required PE the school would expect her to have done for the week.

OP posts:
OnHold · 01/03/2017 18:58

Not letting her wear her tracksuit was done to maximize her humiliation.

Why else wouldn't she be allowed to wear it?