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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think DD's punishment from PE teacher was draconian?

867 replies

moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 17:15

DD is in Year 10 and came home quite annoyed about a punishment she got in PE for something very minor in the first place. Her teacher made her get changed into her PE kit at lunchtime (without any tracksuit in the cold wet weather), and run laps around the football pitch for all but the last 15 minutes of the break (so she could eat), much of it whilst the boys were having football practice, who apparently found it quite funny. Is it overreacting to think this is a bit out of order? I might not have been surprised when I was at school but I can't help be a bit annoyed, seems a bit like it was intended to embarrass her and unnecessary.

OP posts:
Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 21:05

AllTheGlitters very helpful and kind post, thanks. I think you've encapsulated exactly what I think my daughter felt and why it was embarrassing and made her self-conscious. I think I'll try to talk to her about the comments themselves, though need to have a think about how I should advise her on that given she won't report them. I have made it clear she shouldn't be cheeky to any teacher and should behave herself with this one, which I think she will now, and would have after the original punishment which as I said I told her I supported.

OP posts:
OnHold · 01/03/2017 21:10

I doubt the teachers punishment will make her drop her attitude towards them.

The spiteful punishment probably confirms exactly why she doesn't get on this teacher.

AllTheGlitters · 01/03/2017 21:11

You're a good mum moonlight :) I also agree with Talkinginthedark about other posters (no offence to them btw ), but I do think that from threads I've seen a lot of posters seem to be of the attitude that teachers are always right and whatever punishments they decide are thoroughly deserved by the children receiving them, when really so many don't seem to take into account just how sensitive teenagers really are. Sorry I missed the part about boys making comments but that is so wholly inappropriate, and if any posters disputed your daughter's account of what happened that's very unfair, I can perfectly well believe that teenage boys would make a comment about something like that. Well done for being there for your daughter and taking the time and effort to think about how this has impacted her

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 21:12

FrancisCrawford I don't think she has a chip on her shoulder, she complained it was embarrassing having to sit separately and got told off for not keeping her legs crossed as the teacher told her to at her age (the kind of thing she'd maybe have expected at primary school), but I said so be it and she didn't keep arguing about it. I don't have a problem with this punishment but don't think she has a problem being held to account for finding it embarrassing being treated like a "little kid", and it was probably effective.

I agree the comments are totally unacceptable but have told her I won't speak to the school about them and can understand why she wouldn't want me to even though my instict is I would like to.

OP posts:
user789653241 · 01/03/2017 21:14

"she shouldn't be cheeky to any teacher and should behave herself with this one"

I am sure she will learn her lesson, with this one.

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 21:14

OnHold I see what you mean though I hope she doesn't clash with her PE teacher again, as I don't want her getting in trouble or it sidetracking the class. I completely understand where you're coming from though!

AllTheGlitters thank you so much for that kind comment. It made me smile Smile

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 01/03/2017 21:18

Being rude to staff and lippy and disrupting lessons arent minor. And in my experience its when staff start considering these things minor that problems start.

Like many of my colleagues, I sanction kids off if they try that on. Kids are kids and I get teenage moods. They get a warning and then a sanction. Simple. Children are there to learn and have the right to learn without the teacher having to deal with lippy kids.

FrancisCrawford · 01/03/2017 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 21:22

Francis, maybe it is a silly and small thing to complain about, she just said "it was so embarrassing, I had to sit cross legged in front of the whole class while they carried on. Then she stopped the lesson to make me cross my legs again when they got tired and I had to carry on sitting there like a little kid". Yes small, and I told her she should see why the teacher made her do it, but can see it'd be embarrassing at her age in front of her class. She didn't do as she was told but wasn't necessarily not doing so to be disruptive there, but I agree with the teacher on that one whilst not thinking she's showing a chip on her shoulder by complaining a bit about it.

OP posts:
Gildedcage · 01/03/2017 21:27

Sorry but teachers are the same as every other demographic of society, some of them are bullies it's just that the people their working with don't get to answer back or have an opinion. I had fabulous teachers, a great many of them. I NEVER answered a teacher back in my life, but I had a bully PE teacher who used her position to make others frankly miserable. Everyone in the school knew it. The OP isn't saying her daughter didn't deserve to be disciplined over her conduct but she had already been disciplined. The focus on humiliation which seems very clear otherwise why not let her cover up (surely you can remember what 16 yr old boys are like during games because I certainly can, coeducational sport at that age could be awful) makes the perfect teacher sound like a bit of a bully.

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 21:32

Gildedcage thank you for your post, exactly that on not saying my daughter didn't deserve to be disciplined, she did and she was, in the lesson. I won't say the teacher was a bully, and can see it's frustrating when pupils don't do as they're told, just the latter punishment was badly handled and OTT.

OP posts:
user789653241 · 01/03/2017 21:39

So if she was made to do push ups or sit ups or whatever, away from field, because she had to make up for missed PE lesson, were you ok then?

tillytown · 01/03/2017 21:43

I feel bad for your daughter, I understand she behaved badly, but that punishment would put me off P.E lessons, I'm guessing a lot of the posters have forgotten what it feels like to be a teenage girl.

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 21:44

Yes I probably would be, it would be catching up on exercise she missed due to being made to sit by the side during the lesson. She also should have done as she was told and kept sitting with her legs crossed during the lesson, not having the teacher have to stop again to tell her to sit as told. I still think the form of the latter punishment was wrong.

OP posts:
Eolian · 01/03/2017 21:58

Maybe the teacher is a bully. Maybe the teacher was having a bad day. Or maybe the lippiness of the OP's daughter is a more regular thing than the OP realises and the teacher was finally responding to repeated undermining back-chat. It is absolutely impossible to say which. But parents can be very unaware of the extent of their child's misbehaviour or cheeky attitude.

Youcantstandme · 01/03/2017 22:00

If your daughter hadn't given the teacher cheek, she wouldn't have been made to sit on her own during the PE lesson. She was clearly told to sit cross legged and failed to follow a simple instruction, so the teacher had to stop the lesson again to make her cross her legs as she had already been told to do. Maybe if she'd sat as she was told in the first place, she'd not have been made to do laps. Complaining about being told how to sit and that was embarrassing suggests she's a bit of a little madam and needs to learn to be quiet when a teacher is talking and do as she's told, not disrupt.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 01/03/2017 22:04

Read the full thread and the teacher just sounds like a bully.
Not allowed a tracksuit despite it being part of the kit (DD was getting changed anyway so wouldn't have taken any longer)

And actually although I agree sitting out from pe was ok, stopping the lesson to tell DD she must sit crossed legged isn't ok IMO. Human beings naturally fidget, we shift position unconsciously to ease aches so demanding someone sit in the exact position for pretty much an entire pe lesson (40-45 minutes?) Is wrong. A PE teacher once made me do the same in the freezing cold gym for forgetting my kit and it was a very very uncomfortable 50 minutes.

Youcantstandme · 01/03/2017 22:04

*It seems a very silly thing to complain about. Being told to sit cross legged.

Hardly worth mentioning. Apart from the fact the teacher had to tell her again to sit as she was told, which suggests your DD was not doing as she was told (i.e. Sitting with her legs crossed)

Perhaps if she'd done as she was told in the first place that would have been that. But because she didn't, the next step was initiated and she was told to run laps.*

Exactly this.

maisiejones · 01/03/2017 22:06

123yourusername. You and your mum sound delightful. Every teacher's dream I should think. Hmm

Gildedcage · 01/03/2017 22:07

Perhaps. None of us know. What I don't understand is why the girl wasn't allowed to cover up if she specifically asked. It wouldn't have changed the punishment but she would have felt less humiliated. Therefore it 'appears' that the focus was humiliation. Also to use something that you aim to promote as a good thing, as a punishment, well that sounds nonsensical. I wouldn't necessarily complain but I don't think the OP or her DD is unreasonable to feel this is heavy handed. I genuinely don't think a good teacher would have to resort to humiliation as a tactic for control.

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 22:08

FormerlyFrikadela01 thank you for your post. As you said tracksuit is part of her PE kit, no reason she couldn't wear it, it's why parents have to buy tracksuits after all. As you said, making her sit out PE was totally fine, she deserved to be punished, and making her sit cross-legged is fair enough, that's up to the teacher. But I'm guessing it was for about half an hour as it happened near the beginning of the lesson, and as you said it's natural to fidget a bit, she didn't change position to be disruptive. Stopping the lesson to again tell her in front of the whole class to cross her legs maybe was a bit much and embarrassing, though I do understand the teacher gave an instruction so she had to follow it, though it was uncomfortable and embarrassing.

OP posts:
Youcantstandme · 01/03/2017 22:16

She was told how to sit and failed to follow a clear instruction from the teacher having given her cheek, so the teacher had to disrupt the lesson for everyone else a second time to tell her to sit cross legged which she should have been doing anyway. She then probably does it in a huff and complains it's embarrassing. So she found it uncomfortable, tough it was punishment for not respecting the teacher enough to do her lesson, act like a little kid get treated like one I'm afraid

FrancisCrawford · 01/03/2017 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eddiemairswife · 01/03/2017 22:19

What used to be called 'dumb insolence'.

OnHold · 01/03/2017 22:22

Yes a detention would have been a better punishment. I expect that detention is in the schools punishment policy. Instead of the teacher just making his own punishments up.