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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask your opinions on school reunions

123 replies

JungleInTheRumble · 01/03/2017 02:24

School reunion is coming up. I can't go so it's a bit of a moot point really but I was interested how everyone else felt about these.

The people I like from school I have stayed in touch with - the only reason I'd go is to be nosy and see what everyone is doing (although with fb that's not hard to do...). I guess it could be a networking opportunity?

Did any of you re-connect with high school people at a reunion and end up being friends?

OP posts:

KitKat1985 · 01/03/2017 17:22

No way would I go. I had a miserable few years at school as one of the unpopular fat kids, and was actively bullied by some. It actually had serious effects on my mental health for a long time, and I have fuck all desire to see any of them again. I do however have a couple of nice friends from school who are still some of my oldest friends, and there's a few who I'm relatively indifferent too who I accepted facebook requests from, but that's as far as I wish to go in terms of keeping in touch with them.

WatchHowISoar · 01/03/2017 17:26

I did and it was very uncomfortable. I didn't stay long. All the regular people didn't attend and only the cliquey ones were left.

RusholmeRuffian · 01/03/2017 17:26

I would rather scoop my own eyes out with a rusty spoon than attend a school reunion.

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 01/03/2017 17:33

I went to my 30 year reunion, with many misgivings. The only friend from my class I've kept in touch with refused to go on the grounds that she hadn't had any contact with them for 30 years so why start now. I sort of felt the same way but nosyness got the better of me.

I had a GREAT evening. The girls I was at school with have become amazing women. The person I hit it off best with is someone I couldn't stand at school. Turns out we have similar views on all sorts of things and the same sense of humour. I'll definitely go to another one.

LoupGarou · 01/03/2017 17:39

AristotlesTrousers that's horrific

I would never go to one, I had an abusive childhood and I've moved on in my life, I'm not interested in what my former schoolmates are up to and I haven't kept in contact with any of them. Plus I'd have to go back to the UK which isn't something I'm keen to do due to bad memories.

ExplodedCloud · 01/03/2017 17:56

Christ, no. I roared out of that place on an enormous motorbike and I'm never going back unless I'm driving a bulldozer

I know there's a FB group for our year but my one FB 'friend' from school hasn't added me. I was miffed about that for 5 minutes before remembering I didn't like them

heron98 · 01/03/2017 18:42

I went to mine even though I was bullied. I don't hold any grudges and they were kids at the time. 15 years later everyone's grown up and pleasant. Life goes on.

blowmybarnacles · 01/03/2017 18:43

I'd be torn as I'm so curious but would dread. I suffer from huge issues of confidence and inferiority even after all these years.

I stalk facebook occasionally though one person I'm friends with and see some old names pop up now and again, but not my particular old friends. I'd love to know what they are up to but guess they are all married and can't track them down as I don't know their with married names. Thing is, I still have my name so if anybody wanted to contact me they could but haven't so far....

Inarightpickleandchutney · 01/03/2017 18:44

I would rather extract my
Own toenails

MrsMoastyToasty · 01/03/2017 19:01

My school (private girls boarding and day school) hosts reunions for pupils who left 5, 10, 15 years ago and so on. Usually tea and nibbles in the hall followed by a tour of the site. Then off to the pub for a meal and drinks.
I was lucky in most respects and had a pretty uneventful school career. So have been unphased by going back.

SugarMiceInTheRain · 01/03/2017 19:28

I was thinking about this recently as this September will be 25 years since I started secondary. I'd say most people I'm not in touch with there's a good reason for. Would be curious to see what people are up to. Still in touch (and meet up with) a group I was close friends with. I went to a highly selective private school and most of my peers from there are high fliers (Consultant surgeons, high profile playwright, editor of a magazine, barristers etc). Me, not so much - SAHM for last 11 years, part time self employed, no career to speak of. I think going to a school reunion would just make me feel completely inadequate and like I'd wasted my education.

maggiethemagpie · 01/03/2017 19:29

I have a university friends reunion in a few weeks. It's not an official one - just something some key players in the old crowd have organised. I'm still friends with one or two of them but back in the day I was a bit of a hanger -on, and there were a few quite bitchy ones who were horrible to me.

So I'm a bit conflicted about going. I will go... but just try and avoid the bitchy ones. Hopefully there will be enough nice/interested people to balance it out.

Janey50 · 01/03/2017 19:33

Absolutely no way would I ever go to a school reunion (well not from my secondary school,primary school, probably). I disliked senior school and disliked most of the people in my year. Back in the year 2000,I received an invitation to a reunion,for the 20 year anniversary of the year of 1980 leavers. I made an excuse not to go,said I would be away on holiday that day. It irritated me,because the woman who sent it had never liked me at school,nor me her. IMO she was a show off and a bully (although not to me personally) and I suspected that this reunion was going to be an excuse for her to brag about her fabulous house,career,kids, exotic holiday etc. I had no interest in going and spending 3 or 4 hours making smalltalk with a group of people that I had been glad to see the back of 20 years previously!

Deadsouls · 01/03/2017 19:34

Sounds like my idea of a nightmare.

Violetcharlotte · 01/03/2017 19:36

My school had a 20 year reunion a couple of years ago. I didn't go. I'm friends with quite a few people on Facebook, but don't see any of them irl and no desire really to reconnect!

F1GI · 01/03/2017 19:38

I wouldn't consider it. The past is the past.

Janey50 · 01/03/2017 19:48

And HRH that's bloody brilliant! I admire your friend's nerve!

SingingSands · 01/03/2017 19:49

I'd never go. I went to a nice school, in a nice area, with nice kids. All very nice and very dull.

There's a handful of people I keep up with through Facebook and that's it. I have no idea what I'd talk to people about, but imagine it would be like speed dating "are you married/do you have kids/what job do you do now?" Etc.

DH was invited to one last year. When he looked into it, it was organised by 2 women he could only very vaguely remember, and they'd only invited men who appeared to be single!! DH is very much married so he gave it a swerve, but later found out it had been cancelled anyway!

TinselTwins · 01/03/2017 19:54

I don't see the point, it's not the only way to get back in touch with people nowadays

DH had one a few years ago, I went with him because:
A. My only point of reference re. school reunions was American films, and they were all "Bring your plus1"
and
B. We were staying at PILs that weekend, so my choices were go to the bar where the reunion was taking place, or spend the evening in with slightly hostile ILs without DH for back-up

I went and it did not go down well - lots of "don't you trust him to come alone ha ha". Whatever! I did trust him FWIW, I just didn't know it was a solo thing.

Anyway, it was a pleasant enough evening, hardly anyone turned up (DH only did because it coincided with a visit to PILs), atmosphere was similar to a bunch of people chucked together for a conference having "pleasant" drinks afterwards.

Nobody had changed dramatically or done anything amazing - well some classmates had but they weren't there!

meh.

My school had one, 2 people turned up. I didn't go to that one, I'm in touch with everyone I liked.

littlefrog3 · 01/03/2017 20:13

Not for me, no no no. I know a bunch of about 7 or 8 girls (women now) who used to hang out in school, and were gobby, and several of them were bullies and bitches. They have a 'school reunion' every 5 years, and they put it on facebook . (They used to put it on friends reunited.) They would advertise it widely, but I think only about 30 ended up going each time. Out of some 300 that left our school the same year.

I have absolutely ZERO interest in getting back in touch with loads of people from school who I haven't seen for years (I went in the 1980s,) and moreover, I am still IN touch with the people I care about and who I wanted to stay in touch with. So I don't need any 'reunions.' I know 3 girls from school, and have stayed in touch with them since the 1980's. We meet every 3-4 months.

All school reunions are, are an opportunity for people to boast and brag and gloat about what they have. Oddly, people who have never worked, who have loads of kids, and who have never been married, never go to these things.

Friends Reunited was the same. Peoples biographies always had bragging in them. 'Working as a lecturer for Warwick University, after graduating from Birmingham University with an honours degree, married to the beautiful Lana who was Miss Wales in 1999, and have a gorgeous daughter Lizzie-pops who has just gained a place at Eton! Yeah I know it's a boys school but she is THAT fucking awesome! Living in a 12 bedroom mansion in Herefordshire with 6 ponies and a villa in Australia...''

Yada yada. I don't give a shit.

Sherlock35 · 01/03/2017 20:20

Hell. No.

I can't think of a worse way to spend an evening

Katedotness1963 · 01/03/2017 20:23

No, thank you! I have no desire to hang out with the same people who made my school years miserable. Interestingly, the women organizing our 25 year reunion where the same group of "popular" girls who ran everything in high school. I was glad I was living abroad at the time.

Herhighness · 01/03/2017 20:28

No thanks, I didn't like them then and I won't like them now.

Imaystillbedrunk · 01/03/2017 20:30

I went to one. It was full of people I was indifferent about at school (and remain indifferent to) talking to people that they have stayed in touch with. Pointless

Godstopper · 01/03/2017 20:31

Certainly not.

To the bullies at Medina High School on the I.o.W around 1996-1997, I'd just like to say: Fuck you all. I see some of you still stuck on the island with little prospects. That's what happens when you're a nasty person of limited intelligence. Yes, I do take some pleasure in this given what I was put through.

I wonder how brave you are now - I'd certainly have no problems putting you right back in your place.

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