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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask your opinions on school reunions

123 replies

JungleInTheRumble · 01/03/2017 02:24

School reunion is coming up. I can't go so it's a bit of a moot point really but I was interested how everyone else felt about these.

The people I like from school I have stayed in touch with - the only reason I'd go is to be nosy and see what everyone is doing (although with fb that's not hard to do...). I guess it could be a networking opportunity?

Did any of you re-connect with high school people at a reunion and end up being friends?

OP posts:
x2boys · 01/03/2017 10:26

i dont know how anyone manages to organise one tbh there is a facebook group for the people who were in my year at secondary school and there has been talk of a school reunion for several years now but one hasent managed to be organised i know quite a few people are scattered far and wide across the globe but according to facebook most of us are still close enough for a reunion or at least visit parents close enough for a reunion but we cant seem to organise ourseleves!

Megatherium · 01/03/2017 10:33

I went to a couple. The first one was a few years after I left school, but after I'd gone round the room doing the obligatory catch-up I was quite bored and realised that there was a good reason why I hadn't kept up with the people involved. What particularly put me off was that there was a degree of point scoring in relaying who'd done "best", whether in terms of careers, relationships, children etc.

The second time was much better. It was several years later so we were all that much more mature and mellowed, and cared much less about what anyone else thought. We seemed to have much more to talk about and it was really quite interesting and enjoyable. What was particularly helpful, however, was that in the course of general reminiscence, when someone mentioned that a couple of girls were not there and I said I wasn't sorry as they had been pretty unpleasant, there was general agreement. I had thought that I was possibly the only one they targeted and that they were at least moderately popular, but as it turned out no-one particularly liked them, even those who had been their hangers-on at the time. So for me that was actually quite healing, and I was glad I had gone.

Silverstreaks · 01/03/2017 10:36

Alltouch 😂

Oldraver · 01/03/2017 10:51

I think my year have had a couple, its not something I would go to. I wasn't bullied as such (that I consider) but was very much on the outside of any groups and didnt feel I belonged. My attitude is rather...well you didnt wanat to be my friend then so why would I give you the time of day now.

I have two people form school on my FB as they were the two that kept me going so to speak

Willow2016 · 01/03/2017 11:03

I was asked to help organise one about 15 years ago.
It was a lot of work but the end result was great lots of people came and we had a ball. Lots of dancing to 70s music Smile, and catching up with everyone.

Not every reunion is hell, you might be missing out on a great night.

RoseAndRose · 01/03/2017 11:03

I went to our 25 year one.

I hadn't kept up with many school friends, and I didn't expect to buddy up again with anyone just because we happened to be at the same event.

But I was very curious to find out how people's lives had turned out, I enjoyed the mutual reminiscing, and it was interesting to see how everyone gravitated back to their old 'tribes'

It's a damned good weight loss incentive, too

ToEarlyForDecorations · 01/03/2017 11:05

I went to a couple it was interesting. Basically, most people just carried on with their lives and got to pretty much where they were going. Me included.

I wasn't going to go but I told myself not to be such a misery. There's not much conversation to be had with, 'oh yeah, you' and 'oh yeah, that'

The blokes were surprisingly civil. Where did they get their manners and charm from ? Oh that's right, the last time I saw them we were 15 years old.

I'm only Facebook friends/acquaintance with some of them. All they do is post pictures of their holiday or update their status asking to meet their friends down the pub so they can talk about, yes you've guessed it, their holiday.

I feel fairly neutral towards pretty much everyone that was in my year at school. There's a surface level of civil if we chat on Fb. It's like humouring a works colleague. I'm well aware of leaving it at surface level, we don't know each other.

OK, we were in the same year at school but in the adult world in the here and now, so what ?

MyKidsHaveTakenMySanity · 01/03/2017 11:06

Nope nope nope fuck nope.

ToEarlyForDecorations · 01/03/2017 11:09

For the record I'm going to a school reunion later this year as my old middle school is having it's half century.

I'm going back as an, 'old girl' what a cringe !

It's the latest thing that's made me feel officially old !

(You know when you go back to your old primary or middle school and don't the chairs look small ? Doesn't the assembly hall look like something and nothing ?) I've been back to my old middle school before when a popular teacher retired long after I'd left.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 01/03/2017 11:16

I went to a 20 year reunion because I felt I should. What was weird was that there were women there I'd seen every school day for years and yet I couldn't remember them or anything about them. They were just really uninteresting people.

One ex friend came rushing up, asking loads of questions. When we last met I was living a wild existence, lots of drink, drugs and festivals. She assumed I was in dire straits, and was very obviously disappointed to hear how well my life had turned out. She wanted me to envy her car, hair and career. Not pleased to learn I had DH and DC at home plus career in publishing. Very satisfying in a mean way. Had forgotten what a bitch she was.

WankingMonkey · 01/03/2017 11:32

I would love to go to one, but I wouldn't have the confidence. Thinking of my school days fills me with dread. Yes I was part of the 'popular' group but it was still pretty horrendous. i was not bullied as such, but some people were horrible...plus thinking of my school crush STILL gives me butterflies so wouldn't want to see him because of that. I have a bunch of school 'friends' on facebook but I don't really talk to them, just nosy every now and again. I am about 4 stone heavier than at school and in my head, everyone else will still be perfect while I am...not.

SailAwayWithMeHoney · 01/03/2017 11:44

I wouldn't go.

I have absolutely zero interest in any of the people I went to school with and couldn't give a shit what they're doing with their lives.

I moved away from my hometown, but when I go back it's weird to see the same faces hanging around with the same faces? And the same people always saying hello to me. It's like going back in time Grin

zukiecat · 01/03/2017 11:53

I still have the same friends that I had in Primary and Secondary and some others I keep in touch with th

zukiecat · 01/03/2017 11:55

Posted too soon!

I keep in touch with some others through facebook

I longed to go back and wander round my old school and I managed to do that very recently as they had a Faye and offered tours of it, so that longing was satisfied

So I probably wouldn't go to a reunion now

Springersrock · 01/03/2017 11:56

I'd never go to one.

I'm still friends with all the people from school I want to be, I've no desire to see any of the others.

fruityb · 01/03/2017 12:00

Urgh can't imagine anything worse. They'd all be as smug and as twattish as they were at school. Not a chance.

RuggerHug · 01/03/2017 12:00

I wouldn't go to one but my DM went to the 50th of her first year in the school (I think,about that). After that length it might be ok but the main thing she got from it with everyone else was shock that one of the teachers who terrified them all was there. She was over 100 and they all avoided her (after picking their jaws off the floor)Grin

Mingewithafringe · 01/03/2017 12:05

I would love to go to one. I left 15 years ago and still think about school fondly. But then again im a huge regressed. I've been through some pretty traumatic life changing family shit in the late 00s and I think regressing back to the 90s/early 00s (which I perceive to my happiest period) is my way of seeking comfort - and as I went to school during those years, it would fall into that. I even dream about being back at school and would love the option of going back for one day with the same people. I'd love to go and see it now as well, walk through the corridors and the familiar buildings. I think I need to do some cbt to deal with issues rather than regress back to a period that I will never re-live

Mingewithafringe · 01/03/2017 12:06

Regressor not regressed

Reow · 01/03/2017 12:07

I would sooner die.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 01/03/2017 12:09

No, wouldn't go. No way.
An old friend of mine got involved in organising one. Lots and lots of Facebook messages, felt like I was being nagged.
Most of my time at school was pretty hellish so I had no desire reminisce about it.
My old friend did her usual thing of being ultra keen then backing out at the last minute. Nobody else wanted to take it on. I do believe the reunion happened but I have no idea how it went.
DH is lucky in that his old school no longer exists. No chance of a reunion, not that he'd bother.

Original poster
JungleInTheRumble · 01/03/2017 12:13

Ahah, I've enjoyed reading these! I don't feel like I'm missing out too much by not going now...hopefully some of the people I'm still close to will go and then report back with all the gossip. Then I get the best of both worlds.

I don't know why I even had FOMO tbh. When I'm back to visit my parents and have to go into town I spend the whole time I'm out and about praying I won't bump into anyone I went to school with - so why did I think I might want to actively go to a place where they all are?! Mental..

HRH I hope your friend got a round of applause! That's brilliant!

OP posts:
LooksBetterWithAFilter · 01/03/2017 12:15

My old school year is having one later this year. I doubt I'll be going. I don't actually like most of the people in my year. There are two people I'd love to see but they are unlikely to go as they both live abroad we are still in touch but I don't live in the same place we grew up no either so haven't managed a physical get together in years. If they are there I'll go but if not I'm not bothering.

2017couldbegood · 01/03/2017 12:29

Never, ever, ever. Too many bad memories.

Ratonastick · 01/03/2017 12:32

Can I recommend a quiet few hours with Grosse Point Blank? I think that would pretty much sum up my view of the situation.