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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not tell her I'm been induced

104 replies

pinkberry7258 · 27/02/2017 20:32

So I'm due my baby in a few weeks and I know I'm going to be induced the same weekend mil is going away to celebrate a family occasion with 20 members of the family that's been booked for months.
Now it doesn't bother me that she is going away as she won't be allowed visit in hospital due to restrictions and I'm planning on breastfeeding so will appreciate a bit of time at home to get used to feeding but she keeps saying she wants to cancel if I'm going to have the baby that weekend. AIBU to not tell her I'm being induced and just say I've had the baby or would you say it's selfish for her not to know?

OP posts:
Foffyouwanker · 27/02/2017 20:34

I wouldn't tell her you're being induced. Baby arrives when he or she is good and ready! Lol

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 27/02/2017 20:35

As it's your baby not hers you can do whatever is best for you and not her!! Let her enjoy her holiday. . It gives you a holiday too!! Grin

AlmaMartyr · 27/02/2017 20:36

Don't tell her :)

Somehowsomewhere · 27/02/2017 20:36

Don't tell her!

haveacupoftea · 27/02/2017 20:37

If I get induced I wont be telling anyone!

RandomMess · 27/02/2017 20:37

If you don't want her there, don't tell her!!!

EB123 · 27/02/2017 20:38

Don't tell her. Induction can take days anyway x

SaneAsABoxOfFrogs · 27/02/2017 20:39

Don't tell her! Inductions are often started later than planned anyway due to bed space and can take a while to get started, so you don't know the baby is coming that weekend. Also, you don't need mil hovering around/phoning to see what's happening constantly!

MrsChopper · 27/02/2017 20:39

Don't tell her. That way she can enjoy her holiday and you will have the chance to recover and enjoy your bundle of joy in peace. Without her finding an excuse to visit you until you are ready for it Wink

bibbitybobbityyhat · 27/02/2017 20:42

Have you told your parents about the date?

I don't really know whether yabu or not, but I've never heard of knowing your induction date weeks in advance. Can I ask when this applies? Just curious.

pinkberry7258 · 27/02/2017 20:49

No I haven't told anyone. I would presume it ms the weekend she's away due as I see the same doctor on Fridays and he said to me that he'll see me again next Friday and then the week after he'd be happy to induce me if I still don't want a c section.

OP posts:
oatybiscuits · 27/02/2017 20:49

Inductions usually take a long time; I didn't realise this when I went in for mine. I only needed the first pessary and ds was born about 30 hours later but they give one pessary, wait 24 hours, give another pessary, wait another 24 hours then try the drip. Chances are she'll be home in time to visit if you're having visitors to the hospital

oatybiscuits · 27/02/2017 20:51

Also you can turn up and wait for an induction only to find they're too busy and you have to come back the next day

GeekyWombat · 27/02/2017 20:52

I was told three weeks before I was due to be induced that it was being booked in - several factors, mainly to do with liver enzyme levels that were high enough that there were major concerns of OC and which I was being monitored for every three days.

We prepared everything, got older DD taken to family for a couple of days, both DH and I organised to start parental leave (early, massive faff for both our jobs), the whole lot. Three weeks of stress getting it all sorted. Then we went in. There were loads of women needing to be induced that day. We waited around for six hours while people debated whether I should be induced or not and in the end they decided my levels had gone down enough I should carry to term. I eventually gave birth almost a full month later. The day I was to be induced and wasn't was actually stupidly devastating at the time.

Induction dates don't necessarily mean anything, even assuming you get induced it might still take up to three days for something to happen. Send your MiL on her holiday and don't worry about it.

Good luck with the birth!

leighb23 · 27/02/2017 20:53

I was induced, was told 2 weeks ish (longer mebbe, not shorter) before as the hospital do planned inductions on Tuesdays! I was high risk so needed induction.

leighb23 · 27/02/2017 20:55

Oh and DEAR ME don't tell her!! There's precious little that you can keep between you and your partner, particularly once baby arrives so keep this just for you and him. X

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 27/02/2017 20:56

Baby could be born long before then anyway so don't have her cancel (I know you don't want her to do that anyway).
Will the induction process definitely start on the Friday? My local hospital used to try to avoid starting inductions on Friday/Saturday evenings due to reduced obstetric cover. Not sure if it's still the case.

leighb23 · 27/02/2017 20:57

Oh yes and Thomas wasn't born till Thursday night from Tuesday!

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 27/02/2017 20:58

I was induced on a Friday and dd still didn't come until the Sunday so she could go, come back and still be no baby as it's a weekend thing

Olympiathequeen · 27/02/2017 20:59

Don't say anything. It may come earlier anyway.

HappyFlappy · 27/02/2017 21:00

Don't tell her! Inductions are often started later than planned anyway due to bed space and can take a while to get started, so you don't know the baby is coming that weekend.

What BoxofFrogs has said

pinkberry7258 · 27/02/2017 21:01

Thanks everyone am probably naive thinking it would be a short process Grinbut you's have helped so much as I don't want to upset her by excluding her but my reasoning is why waste a holiday you've paid for to sit at home waiting on news.

OP posts:
Costalot1 · 27/02/2017 21:05

Don't tell, I didn't tell me mil when I was induced

Jfw82 · 27/02/2017 21:08

I started the induction process Tues am and baby didn't arrive until 1am on Friday- it can take time and that's when the process was started as scheduled!

We also told only 1 person - my mum- my DH agreed that as she was on holiday and as my first baby and I'd been having problems (high Bp) she was checking in daily and we knew she'd worry if I wasn't answering calls (had been at home and bored previously) also there also no question of my parents visiting before I left hospital regardless as they live 150 miles away. I love my Mil but if she'd known I'd gone in she would've wanted to visit and I would have found it hard to say no but I only wanted DH at hospital with me and no one else! (And did indeed have no visitors until We got home)

NavyandWhite · 27/02/2017 21:08

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