To not tell her I'm been induced

[pinkberry7258]

So I'm due my baby in a few weeks and I know I'm going to be induced the same weekend mil is going away to celebrate a family occasion with 20 members of the family that's been booked for months.
Now it doesn't bother me that she is going away as she won't be allowed visit in hospital due to restrictions and I'm planning on breastfeeding so will appreciate a bit of time at home to get used to feeding but she keeps saying she wants to cancel if I'm going to have the baby that weekend. AIBU to not tell her I'm being induced and just say I've had the baby or would you say it's selfish for her not to know?

Induction doesn't always take ages - mine was 6 hours!

Are you telling your mum?

We only told ILs for 2nd as they were coming to look after PFB.

If we hadn't needed to tell anyone either time that I'd gone into labour, it wouldn't have occurred to us to tbh.

If I was the mother in law I would be really upset to find you'd lied/not told me. You can ask her not to visit for a few days, that is perfectly reasonable, but it would be her choice about the holiday.
I have sons and one day may have grandchildren. If it were me I would want to know. As much as I was annoyed by my mum calling the hospital to check on my labour, I'd never have not told her we were going in if it were planned.

My experience is of quite quick inductions, just to give an alternative view! My first lasted 20 hours from the first pessary to the baby arriving, my second was 12 hours and my third was 7 hours. With my third, I had my first contraction 4 hours after the pessary, and my son was born 3 and a half hours later. So it can be quick too!

"All these "don't tell her" posts seem a little mean to me"

No they don't. Unless you need childcare why would you tell anyone that you are in labour or are going in to be induced? I genuinely don't understand it.

Although, in my case I was talking on the phone to a friend from work when my waters went, so she knew, but I wouldn't have told anyone otherwise.

YA most definitely NBU

My youngest was overdue so an induction was booked in. My mother was driving me crazy from week 38, calling several times a day "just wondering if there was any news" and I actually stopped answering the phone to her (this was in the days before caller ID), which just made her start calling my husband at work.
Anyway, I didn't tell her I was going to be induced because I couldn't handle all of the worrying and fussing she'd be doing.

Word of warning though, don't tell anyone. I told my sister and asked her not to tell our mother but she ignored my wishes.

As it happened, our son decided to arrive of his own accord 3 hours before I was due at the hospital.

All these "don't tell her" posts seem a little mean to me

I didn't tell anyone I was in labour, why would I tell them if I was being induced?

Agree with ragz.

Poor MIL - she doesn't appear to have committed any of the usual mumsnet MIL crimes, apart from be interested in the birth of her grandchild...

I'd tell her, but explain that it's likely to be a lengthy process, and what with the hospital stay afterwards etc, she's not going to miss anything. But I'd still tell her.

If ypu are telling your parents then tell, if not then don't... easy. Agree about the mean smug don't tell her posts.

Inductions can be very quick, too! Two of mine were induced (39 and 38 weeks) and took 4 and 8 hours from the induction to baby, respectively!

I didn't tell my mother I was in labour, no

I didn't tell my mother I was in labour, no

I didn't tell my own mother when in labour with either of my children.

With PFB no one knew until he was born-mind you, we didn't tell anyone that I was pregnant until I was 16wks.

To give the flip side of all the stories of long labours after induction, I had my first pessary at 09:00, was in proper labour at 4:30pm and ds was born at 6:55pm. It isn't always long and drawn out!

And I wouldn't tell mil either

Don't tell her if you think she'll pester you ...

I told my mother I saw being induced ... she called the ward to check up on me because I didn't reply to her text as I was having a bath. She then spent the entire next day text OH about how far along I was, what medications I was being given, why I was having any epidural, what was going on .... etc, ect, ect ... Actually caused an argument between DP and I as I was getting fucked off that his phone was going off every 10 minutes!

I had some serious complications and almost DD and I almost died - I can't forgive that my DM behaved like that and took my DP's focus away when I needed it most. She wonders why I "denied her RIGHT as my mother" to be in the room when I gave birth!

I was induced and baby arrived an hour later after the drip was put in so it doesnt always take a while!

All these "don't tell her" posts seem a little mean to me

She doesn't want her MIL to cancel her weekend trip with her family when there's nothing she can do anyway. Nothing mean about that.

Absolutely no-one except my mum and dad knew when we went in to have our twins (they only knew because they were going to be driving us to the hospital!).

Surely it's much nicer to not say anything than to have her cancel her family trip just to sit at home.

I wouldn't tell, when I went into labour we didn't tell anyone, we wanted it to be just us

Inductions can take ages I wouldn't tell her you may be induced. You also may not need to be induced. We told no one until ds was born. We also kept it to ourselves until after 14 weeks pregnant for parents and siblings and 20 weeks for everyone else.

I agree there is nothing mean about not wanting MIL to cancel her weekend away.

"All those saying don't tell her and it's not mean - did you really not tell your own mothers then?"

My mother was dead and we didn't tell MIL until after DD was born. Why would we. She would just be on edge and fret. And being 150 miles away with no way of getting to us easily there really wasn't any point.

I was assuming OP meant she wouldn't tell her that if she was being induced she wouldn't tell her now. TBH there is a lot that could happen in that time, also it doesn't sound like OP is actually booked in at the moment where they actually get the book out and write her in. (They did this with me and booked me in the week before).
Might be just me but was assuming once OP is actually in hospital having the baby, she/DH would tell parents that it's starting/no visitors thank you and updates when we're good and ready. And MIL can have her holiday with updates if necessary.