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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask: if you don't wear make up regularly, what do you genuinely think when you see someone who does?

515 replies

Mingewithafringe · 27/02/2017 13:26

Really interested to hear people's views on this as it's something the socially anxious person in me has always wondered.

I wear a lot of make up by most people's standards. It stems from my teens where I developed bad skin and was just desperate to cover it. It's a lot better now but I have scars and patches that I feel insecure about.
So as well as a concealer and powder foundation, I also fill in my eyebrows daily, wear liquid eyeliner on my top lid, kohl pencil on my waterline, mascara, bronzer and either matte lipstick or a tinted lip balm. Without the eye make up I look tired or ill (people have actually said that!)

This is most days unless I know for sure I won't be going out that day. I have applied it for so many years that it only takes me about 5/10 minutes to put it on in the morning, and the amount of money I spend on make up has just become one of those accepted expenses, although I don't actually spend a lot because aside from my foundation, the rest is usually affordable stuff like Maybelline, Bourjois etc

I go through phases where I just hate the fact that I feel like I have to wear it and so I try to wean myself off it e.g. By not wearing eyeliner or by going for a subtle/minamalistic look. But I just don't feel confident and end up reverting back!

I have always wondered what ladies who don't wear make up are thinking when they talk to me. If I walk in to a room, 99% of the time I am wearing the most make up out of any woman. So ironically, I wear make up so that people don't think "look at her scars", but now have developed this insecurity where I feel that when I talk to someone, all they are thinking is "jeez how much make up is she wearing, it's a toddler and baby group for crying out loud"!!

Am I being silly?

OP posts:
josCS · 28/02/2017 22:02

I Only wear full make up if I am going out or for the evening, to a wedding or party etc.... I struggle with foundation, it always comes straight off so have given up really. Not super confident at applying eye shadow and have no idea where to begin with contouring! I am lucky that I have fairly good skin so just moisturise twice a day. If I am going out for lunch I put mascara and lipstick on. In the summer I sometimes tint my eyelashes for holidays but that's it!

I am always impressed by people wearing full make up and wonder how they have the time to do it! Bad False eyelashes, overdone brows and bad colour foundation make me think why on earth would you put yourself through the cost and hassle of make up when it probably makes you look worse as a result.

I am sure people are thinking about me 'gosh she hasn't made an effort at all' but I am really not bothered.

themiram · 28/02/2017 22:09

I don't wear make up. My skin's still so bad I look worse with it on than not! However I have encouraged my daughters to be comfortable both wearing and not wearing make up, so they don't feel restricted one way or the other. What's to judge about a bit of self expression art?Smile

It does sound like a lot of hassle though. People will love you for who you are not how good or bad your make up is. I always like the Roald Dahl quote in the twits:
"A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick out teeth but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely." Make up or not 😊

Natsku · 28/02/2017 22:15

Thanks user I was thinking 13 would be a good age as its the start of the teenage years.

I always like the Roald Dahl quote in the twits: "A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick out teeth but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely."
Love that quote

user1475439961 · 28/02/2017 22:16

I'm hopeless with makeup & would love to wear more/properly! So I'm often in awe of people with lovely make up.

FontSnob · 28/02/2017 22:38

Sorry if it's already been mentioned but do you follow Mrs gloss and the goss on Facebook? Really great make up page full of lovely supportive women who post their make up look and ask for help or advise or recommend products and tips. You may enjoy the page :)

greeneyedlulu · 28/02/2017 22:48

My routine is....
Liquid foundation
Matt powder foundation
Colour correct powder
Bronzer
Mascara
Lipliner
Matt lipstick

Every day without out fail, if im leaving the house, this is my basic make up!! I even applied all of this to help a friend move house whilst wearing leggings, tshirt, trainers and fleece.

To me, it's not make up, it's war paint and must be applied if leaving the safety of my home!!

Weird but true

smithsurvey14 · 28/02/2017 22:49

I say live and let live. People should not feel pressured to wear make-up but neither should they be discouraged from wearing it if they want to.
I personally have not worn make-up since my teens and I am now quickly approaching 50. The only comment that sticks in my mind is when I turned up for a job interview in my late teens wearing no make-up and the employer said to me "we only allow professional looking make-up, nothing too heavy." (I could not have worn any lighter make-up than none!)
I don't judge others for their choices in make-up of lack of and I would hope that no-one is judging me either.

mycatisginger · 28/02/2017 22:53

I am usually - foundation, eyeshadow, blusher, eyeliner at top and bottom plus mascara.

However after reading this thread yesterday today I decided I would just wear foundation and mascara - it felt great!

Honestly I looked okayish, still got wolf whistled once (Blush), I got told I looked well, no 'you look tired' comments. I was surprised and pleased with the outcome.

Sunbeam18 · 28/02/2017 22:59

Why would anyone be 'disappointed'
that other women wore eye makeup and consider it anti feminist?! Madness

BertrandRussell · 28/02/2017 23:03

I'm certainly disappointed that we still live in a society where some workplaces still demand that women wear make up, and where some women won't answer the door without it. I'm not disappointed in the women but in the society' we created and are perpetuating.

Vicky1990 · 28/02/2017 23:14

Makeup is a concoction of many nasty chemicals that will damage your skin and age it, do not use it. The best way to to achieve a healthy blemish free skin is to use a sauna bath, drink mostly water, and go for walks in the fresh air, it's that simple. Do not believe the manufacturers claims, they will tell you what you want to hear to get your money, that's what they do.

seventhgonickname · 28/02/2017 23:14

I have never worn make up over mascara with maybe eyeshadow and lippy for special occasions.I never started because I had bad teenage spots that continued well into my twenties and found foundation made them more obvious than not and aggravated them.
I admire some of the beautifully made up men and women but with people I know I stop noticing it is the person not their clothes/makeup that attracts me.
I do however have a fascination for the mega brows currently in fashion and have to try not to stare to hard sometimes.

hollinhurst84 · 28/02/2017 23:16

Vicky - providing you remove it, it's fine. Foundation can actually protect your skin. Using a sauna would be an utter disaster for me. And just water and fresh air isn't going to solve acne, I'll take the chemicals for that

TeethDrama · 28/02/2017 23:37

Vicky, spf has been proven to prevent wrinkles which are a sign of ageing. Sun damage is most ageing of all. Makeup can protect your skin.

Also, what's the point of caring about looking younger but not prettier? (If that's what makeup makes some people feel). Why care about one but not the other? Why is looking younger but plainer better then looking your age but prettier?

caringcarer · 28/02/2017 23:38

I honestly don' really notice unless it is caked on. I don't care one way or another what others choose to do. I do wear light make up if go in evening but I am just as comfortable without it.

TwoDogs9 · 28/02/2017 23:56

I rarely wear makeup and if I do it's only for a special occasion. My reasons are 1. I can't be arsed to put it on 2. I have sensitive skin and it irritates me beyond belief!

If I see someone with nicely applied makeup I think to myself "I wish I made more of an effort with my appearance, maybe I should try and wear it more often" but never do. If I see someone with badly applied makeup I wonder why they bother and if they have a mirror in their house!! I also wonder where they find the time cos it must take ages to put it all on then take it all off again. I really couldn't be bothered with the faff!
Generally though I don't really have an opinion. Each to their own and all that Smile

aurynne · 01/03/2017 00:04

I feel saddened by women who look at someone wearing makeup and think "I wish I had made an effort".

An effort to achieve what? To look different from your real self? To look "sexier"? To cover your real, natural face?

We still have so long to go... we pull the hairs off our legs, underarms and pudenda - do you know that pulling out hair by the roots is a very effective torture method?. We cover our faces in slop to look "acceptable" (or to look "like we made an effort"). We make holes in our ears and carry dangly bits hanging off them. And most times we don't give it a second thought and think it "natural" or "normal".

But we are quick to criticise any other countries' traditions that "degrade women". Such as wearing a scarf.

seventhgonickname · 01/03/2017 00:12

I get your point but maybe we do some of these hinge for ourselves.

seventhgonickname · 01/03/2017 00:12

Things

Blueink · 01/03/2017 00:37

I have been through stages of wearing a lot of make-up (foundation etc) but since being a mum and back working full time, wear little and sometimes. The earlier stages were also to do with social insecurity 1)late teens great skin but insecure 2)adult acne. I weaned myself off!!Now I experience a freedom with wearing or not wearing make-up - rarely wear it at work but often put some on if I'm going out somewhere, more so in the evening. I've also become more focussed on the quality of the ingredients - natural/organic and days not wearing it, help keep my skin in good condition. I do think wearing make-up all the time is a waste of time but wouldn't judge someone on appearance, more interested in their underlying attitude and values. I don't judge others putting make-up on public transport either (quite like looking at their products & how they do it!) - and I do it myself sometimes due to lack of time and opportunity elsewhere.

aurynne · 01/03/2017 00:44

seventhgonickname and you really think you would paint your face "for yourself" if your culture had not shown it as acceptable and even desirable for a woman to do it? Isn't it surprising so few men "do it for themselves"?

aurynne · 01/03/2017 00:45

(let alone pulling our hairs out)

EnormousTiger · 01/03/2017 07:43

(A few people have mentioned acne. My teenage son goes here www.drsambunting.com/ as did his older brother. It is almost completely gone. He is very very pleased)

morningconstitutional2017 · 01/03/2017 07:52

When I was young and insecure (especially with teenage skin) I wore make-up every working day and nights out - foundation, blusher, eye-shadow, powder, lipstick. I think it goes with being young, insecure and a wish to follow fashion. I never bothered with eye-liner as I found it impossible to get a straight line and mascara made my eyes sting - even the hypoallergenic type. I perfected the '3 minute' routine. I think wearing make up looks as though you've 'made an effort' but it really isn't as necessary as you think to go the whole hog. I found a husband so I can't have been as ugly as I thought though obviously he chose me for my personality!

As the years went by I used less and less - I came to the conclusion that I didn't actually look that bad without it. So now it's just eyebrow pencil with occasional lipstick. One's saving grace is good hair which frames the face in a flattering manner.

I don't judge people with lots of make up - they're probably wearing it foe exactly the same reasons that my generation did so when young.

Ladyonashortfuse · 01/03/2017 09:22

I would just think you are more organised than I am! If I notice at all through the fog of all my own social anxiety issues that is.Wink