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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Call the Midwife - FGM

229 replies

Littlepiglittlepig3letmeIN · 26/02/2017 21:08

At first I thought the programe makers were doing a good job at highlighting how wrong this practice is, and yet at the last moment, they normalized it by making out it's tradition.
I felt they missed a good opportunity to get through to the right people.

The programme makers can try and dress it up however they want - trying to make out it's tradition and it's the women that facilitate it.
Women may carry it out, but
It's men who are behind it.

It's heartbreaking to think that even in this day and age, little girls are still being butchered and disfigured by these barbaric animals.

OP posts:
DesolateWaist · 27/02/2017 00:44

Cross post there Helena!

HelenaDove · 27/02/2017 00:47

What my post shows is that people will believe what they want to believe rather than education or health advice.

HelenaDove · 27/02/2017 00:50

Desolate there was a thread on here recently where it was intimated that women who dont shave their pubic hair are dirty and unhygenic and unclean...................

venusinscorpio · 27/02/2017 00:51

Of course it's entirely nothing to do with men whether women remove their pubes.

venusinscorpio · 27/02/2017 00:53

FGM is to me the same. It's a cultural expectation that was based on men's preferences.

CatchingBabies · 27/02/2017 01:01

Its such a complex issue, there are so so many reasons why it's seen as acceptable to perform.

It's done differently in each culture also, some completely close the labia leaving only a opening to urinate. I've heard mothers argue this protects the young girls from rape as penetration is impossible. Some women argue it's cleaner, some argue it looks nicer.

What we consider normal for genitals is really quite personal and many women in this county undergo surgery to their genitals as they are not happy with their appearance. When you're from a culture where FGM is the norm women don't want to be the different one, the one seen as dirty or promiscuous not any of the other things associated with not being cut.

Mothers genuinely believe it's the best thing for their daughters. I've heard it be compared to childhood immunisations in that it's painful and forgotten quickly but makes their life better.

Some education programmes have deliberately targeted men to educate them as to what happens as many of them don't even realise how horrific a procedure it is. And some men have tried unsuccessfully to prevent their daughters having it done.

It's really not as simple. And whilst it's incomprehensible to me the women do ask to be reinfibulated afterwards. Even when the risks of the procedure are explained, even when their husband supports reconstruction. Sometimes they just want it back to what they consider normal. The same way if we were to undergo a genital mutilation we would want it returned to our normal.

You have to understand that to tackle it or you get nowhere!

CatchingBabies · 27/02/2017 01:04

Agree completely desolate. Whilst removal of pubic hair is totally different I see what you mean. But look at how many surveys say men don't particularly care if a woman has pubic hair or not and look at how many times on here other women have said it's unclean, doesn't look as nice etc.

Whilst men's preferences of course play a part it isn't JUST mens preferences keeping this practice going. And when men only ever see women that have undergone FGM of course they will prefer that as to them it's normal.

venusinscorpio · 27/02/2017 01:10

It was originally done for men. And the custom has carried on. Why is this so difficult?

CatchingBabies · 27/02/2017 01:13

Can you reference that Venus?

CatchingBabies · 27/02/2017 01:15

Some information here from the world health organisation that discusses reasons FGM is commonly performed and also the efforts made to tackle it globally. You'll notice that they include piercings as FGM also which many would disagree with.

www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs241/en/

venusinscorpio · 27/02/2017 01:15

Reference it how? Do you actually think that back in the mists of time it had nothing to do with what men wanted?

HelenaDove · 27/02/2017 01:16

On the "to not want to shave anymore" thread the OPs partner called her gross for not wanting to shave her pubic area anymore.

Men DO have some responsibility and it is a contributory factor.

CatchingBabies · 27/02/2017 01:19

I don't pretend to know how or why it started as no one really knows that. It's been referred to as the worlds oldest profession as it's gone on for so so long. No one knows why it started, we can't just assume
It was men who started the practice.

Even if we do assume that it doesn't help matters as it doesn't really matter why it started what matters is why it's continuing and how we stop it. And those reasons are a hell of a lot more complex then simply men's preferences. Failing to recognise that means we don't stand a chance in getting through to these women.

HelenaDove · 27/02/2017 01:20

i thought the worlds oldest profession was prostitution.

CatchingBabies · 27/02/2017 01:20

Of course it's a contributory factor! Education should be targeted to both the men and the women, their acceptance contributes to the practice greatly! It's simply not the ONLY factor is all I am stating.

venusinscorpio · 27/02/2017 01:22

Do you think that despite all evidence to the contrary (which you are perfectly able to google) that in the ancient world men had no say in what their sexual partners did or how they presented?

CatchingBabies · 27/02/2017 01:23

Depends whose definition you go by as to worlds oldest profession. FGM has been performed from at least Ancient Egyptian times that we know of.

venusinscorpio · 27/02/2017 01:24

Oh now you're the expert on it. So do tell, why was it performed?

CatchingBabies · 27/02/2017 01:26

Of course not Venus. The whole world is patriarchal.

But do you think that men's preferences is the ONLY reason FGM is preformed?

Do you think that ignoring the other reasons and focussing purely on the men will be less effective?

Do you think that assinging "blame" to either gender despite the fact that the men TODAY support the practice as it's all they know actually helps stop the practice?

CatchingBabies · 27/02/2017 01:28

I never said I was an expert, I have encountered many many cases sadly. I stayed we cannot know how it started and why. I don't pretend to know or assume blame on any gender. I stayed that today there are multiple reasons cited for it performance and attributing blame only alienates these cultures further and hampers education efforts.

venusinscorpio · 27/02/2017 01:29

But do you think that men's preferences is the ONLY reason FGM is preformed?

I think that a cultural belief about men's preferences are why it is performed. I certainly don't think women's preferences are the root of it, as you appear to.

CatchingBabies · 27/02/2017 01:31

I didn't state what the root of it is. I stated (as do the world health organisation who's link I have posted) that it's a really complex issue and is preformed for multiple reasons. Men's preferences is one reason there are many others. We have to tackle and educate people on ALL the reasons to stop this.

CatchingBabies · 27/02/2017 01:33

My spelling is shocking, it's clearly too late to be typing!

venusinscorpio · 27/02/2017 01:41

I agree. But it is patriarchy writ large, please don't pretend women benefit.

CatchingBabies · 27/02/2017 01:43

I never said they benefit. There is absolutely no medical benefit to have FGM performed. I said the women that have had it done 'think' there are benefits. That's why it's education that's so important.

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