Surname after marriage

[VivienneWestwoodsKnickers]

I'm getting married in August. I used to be in the police where it was common for women to take their husband's name (if they wanted to of course) and use that for their personal life but maintain their "maiden" name for work purposes.

This created a split between work and personal life to protect their family privacy.

I'm no longer in the police and was toying with the idea of still doing this, but there's no real "need".

WIBU to ask whether you kept your name, adopted your partners name, selected a new surname together or now use different names for parts of your life?

[hellsbellsmelons]

I double barreled.
My DD is double barreled.
It's a feckin' PITA when you get divorced though.
Keep your name. You never know what life has in store for you.

[BarbarianMum]

I did have a period of several years where I used my married name in daily life and my maiden one for work purposes but I kept making mistakes/signing the wrong one or introducing myself with the wrong one, so changed to married name only when became a SAHM and then when I reentered the workplace again later.

[minipie]

I kept my name. DH kept his.

DC have his surname and they have one of my surnames (I have two) as a middle name.

[PinguForPresident]

Both my husband and I changed our names to myname-hisname. Kids are also myname-hisname. There was no way in the world I was changing my name, nor allowing my children to have a different surname from me. If he'd not been amenable to both of us changing, then I'd have kept my own name and the kids would have had my name too.

[PinguForPresident]

This hyphenated surname thing is interesting. What happens when your children have children with somebody who is also double barrelled? Will the DC become Miss/Master xxx-xxx-xxx-xxx

This one always gets trotted out on these threads. My kids are free to make up their own mind when they get married. If either of them (I have one boy and one girl) wish to change to their partners name then that's their choice. If they wish to choose an entirely new name, that's fine too. If the wish to quadruple-barrel then that's up to them.

However, i'd suggest the most logical thing to do is to take one surname from the existing double barrelled name, and join it to the partner's name. So Miss Allen-Brown marries Mr Cook-Davis and the two of them become Mrs and Mrs Brown-Davis, or whichever combination they prefer.

[NorksAkimbo72]

I double barrelled with no hyphen. Tend to use both surnames professionally, but only my married name personally. DS has one surname, DD's is double barrelled like mine.

[Leggit]

Oh well, sorry for asking something that people are so fed up of hearing

[MyBreadIsEggy]

I took my DH's name.
We didn't really discuss it, I just knew that's what I would do!

[20nil]

Oh and my name is much harder to spell than DH's and frequently confuses people. I don't even like it very much. But I still kept it as it's my name

[Whathaveilost]

I got married 25 years ago. I changed my name to his. I don't regret it one bit.
I live in a Northern town where it is unheard of for people to keep their original names!! Things take a while to catch on up here sometimes!

I wasn't married when I had DS1 but used DHs name. We got married 3 months later. I like us being a 'unit' all having the same name.

My friend who wasn't from up here but moved used two names, one for buisness and one for personal. After a couple of years she gave up as she said it was getting confusing for people ( complicated story that I won't go into for outing and privacy reasons)
I can understand why police, social workers and the like use different names though.

[NataliaOsipova]

I'm Mrs DH. Wanted to be and really like it.

[OddJobMan]

Just out of interest those that have double barreled their names what happens if you have a daughter and when she gets married wants to do the same? how does that work?

So for instance you change your name to

Jenny Maidenname-Husbandname

Your daughter is then

Emma Maidenname-husbandname

What does she change her name to?

Emma Maidenname-husbandname-thirdname?

Surely it would just be silly and she would have to drop one of the names but which one???

and what if she then has a daughter..??

Also those who keep maiden names for work and husbands name for everything else have you run into trouble for paperwork? I was under the understanding its illegal to go by two different names.. i.e having a passport in one name and bank account in another..

[NameChange30]

She doesn't change her name.
Neither does a son.

And if she has children she gives them one of her surnames (plus one surname from their father) AS I'VE ALREADY SAID TWICE

[OddJobMan]

She doesn't change her name.
Neither does a son.

And if she has children she gives them one of her surnames (plus one surname from their father) AS I'VE ALREADY SAID TWICE

How do you work that out..

If my name is Emma Dunston-Price (mother and fathers surnames) and i get married to Darren Dabomb do i change my name (on the basis i dont fully wont to take his or just use mine) Emma Dunston-Price-Dabomb or do I drop one of my parents surnames.

[hellsbellsmelons]

My DD will drop my ExH name if she ever has kids.
Or maybe she will just take her new DH name and not have to worry about her name again.
But she has said she will keep mine and double barrel as our family name won't continue otherwise!

[NameChange30]

You keep your name
That's what not changing your name means

[OddJobMan]

So your basically forcing your daughters to either take husbands name or keep your original name and give her the kids your name (cutting the husband out) or they take his names..

none of the this example has ExH or divorces involved.

[NameChange30]

I'm not forcing my daughters to do anything, what nonsense.

[NameChange30]

Also you are STILL assuming that a daughter would change her name but a son wouldn't change his.

Whether male or female, my children have the following options when they get married:

• Keep both surnames
  
• Drop both surnames and take their spouse's surname instead
  
• Keep one surname and swap one for their spouse's
  

And if they have children they have similar choices, they can give their children whatever combination of surnames they choose.

[NameChange30]

Oh and another option would be for my child and their spouse to choose a new surname, which they have chosen just because they like it or which they have created by meshing together their names.

It's not hard if you apply a bit of intelligence and imagination.

[OddJobMan]

" I'm not forcing my daughters to do anything, what nonsense."

How is it nonsense its a genuine question. maybe your just no understanding what i am trying to say.

One last go..

Emma Dunston-Price gets married to Darren Cann

-She does not want to take his name fully (Emma Cann)
-She doesnt want to keep her name (Emma Dunston-Price)

She want s to double Barrel like her MOTHER did...

So does she

A. Drop one of her names i.e Emma Dunston-Cann or Emma Price-Cann
B. Uses all three Emma Dunston-Price-Cann

[TheCraicDealer]

I'm having to deal with the "fallout" of a stubborn DB child. DP's mum refused to change her name (fair play, especially 30+ years ago) so he and his DB are double barrelled. We're engaged and I've decided I'm keeping my much nicer, lovely, rare-but-recognisable last name. Cue heated rows about potential DC's names the sensible option given here is dropping one of the double barrelled names and adding in mine, but apparently he "can't choose as they're both his name". He's compared it to me trying to choose one syllable of mine Obviously triple barrelling would be ridiculous and is out of the question.

I think the real issue is that he's worried about offending whatever parent whose name he picked to drop. I can forsee us having to go to counselling to sort it out tbh. It's a good thing he's sensible and thoughtful in all other respects.

[NameChange30]

OddJobMan
I agree it's a dilemma but I don't actually see the need for changing her name at all. My preference would be for her to keep both. But obviously it's her choice. If she wanted to change it I would suggest A is a better option than B! Personally I would pick the name that sounds better. In your example Dunston and Price both sound ok with Cann but I would probably pick Price because it's shorter. Does that answer your question?

[HookandSwan]

I'm happy to take my bfs name if we ever get married.

[BoomBoomsCousin]

Odd what do you mean about Emma wanting to double barrel like her MOTHER did? In the scenario given, Emma's mother didn't double barrel her name. She kept her own, which was a mash of one her father's names and one of her mother's names.