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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU re alcohol

126 replies

minisausage · 26/02/2017 00:29

My DH has drank 3 pints of lager and large red wine tonight. I think this is a lot considering the kids were up and I wasn't drinking. We had been driving last night. AIBU in thinking it's a lot?

OP posts:
Skooba · 26/02/2017 15:22

I am calling people's bluff when they say they drink for the taste and deny the effects of the alcohol. Alcohol is addictive, there is no way a sensible person would spend that amount on money on glasses of pop week in week out, 'because they like the taste', the alcohol is the drug which is attracting you to choose wine or beer as a drink. I'm not saying it's necessarily bad to drink it but I don't believe it's just the flavour.

Wolfiefan · 26/02/2017 15:28

I do think it's a lot. And I think drinking every single say constitutes a drinking problem. Couple of beers fine. OR a couple of glasses of wine. What you describe I would expect to be a VERY occasional binge.

Somehowsomewhere · 26/02/2017 15:55

I am calling people's bluff when they say they drink for the taste and deny the effects of the alcohol. Alcohol is addictive, there is no way a sensible person would spend that amount on money on glasses of pop week in week out, 'because they like the taste', the alcohol is the drug which is attracting you to choose wine or beer as a drink. I'm not saying it's necessarily bad to drink it but I don't believe it's just the flavour

You can call my bluff all you like Grin. And I didn't say alcohol doesn't have an effect on you, of course it does. All I said was my DH wouldn't have a noticeably altered personality after three pints of beer! 6 maybe, but not 3.

EurusHolmesViolin · 26/02/2017 16:27

I must say I do like the taste of several alcoholic drinks, and haven't found a suitable replica. But then, I feel the same about a number of non alcoholic drinks too.

Trainspotting1984 · 26/02/2017 17:09

Skooba- you do realise people who go to the pub and drink 3 pints aren't addicted to alcohol do you? Do you??

I can't drive after 3 pints but I am perfectly able to care for my children. Same for DH

BoomBoomsCousin · 26/02/2017 17:20

I have no bluff to be called either Skooba. I like the taste (sometimes I also like to get drunk, but rarely nowadays). I can't think of any non-alcoholic drinks that have the complexity of good alcoholic ones and there are very few other non-sweet cold drinks. I tried non-alcoholic wine and beer, and it's OK but nowhere near as nice as most of the alcoholic stuff I drink. The cost is significant, but I also buy bottled sparkling water that's quite pricey (often more than cheap beer) and that isn't addictive, so I don't think there's good logic in the "you wouldn't spend that amount of money on pop" idea.

Nevertheless, the amounts the OP is talking about do sound like a lot, but it's the impact it has on them that's important. There are two things the OP mentioned that would make me think twice - treatment of the kids, and that it sounds like he drinks everyday.

CrossCountryRunner · 26/02/2017 17:29

myoriginal3

GrinGrinGrin

Hannahbanana1725 · 26/02/2017 17:53

**Skooba 😂😂 alcoholic drinks ARE nice tasting (perhaps not all of them, depending on your taste) I will happily have a glass of wine or beer/cider with my dinner or just going for a drink with friends. But I don't drink to get drunk because alcohol severely lowers my mood, so I'll have 2 drinks tops which is definitely not enough to get me drunk. I drink because I like the taste, as do a lot of people

Trainspotting1984 · 27/02/2017 08:16

I'm sorry skooba and the like but you could not by more obviously someone who doesn't have an appreciation/ understanding of booze. Just have a non alcoholic wine?

You do realise many people love alcohol don't you? And appreciate it? And are willing to spend enormous amounts of money in the persuit of tasting it? What about

A 20 year old Chablis from a famous vineyard

A perfect old fashioned

Craft beers

Local ciders made with different apples/ fruits

To say why not have a schlor is fucking ridiculous

Skooba · 27/02/2017 08:27

Trainspotting.
I love alcohol, but I do think it is the Emperor's New Clothes. It is the effect of the alcohol which everyone wants (but doesn't admit). And the booze companies can convince us it's sophisticated, just for the elite, only for those with an educated palate blah blah but in the end it is an addictive mind affector. You could produce a delightful sparkling fruit drink for a sophisticated palate, but it's not got booze so doesn't tick all the boxes, not many want it.
No matter how you dress it up.

Trainspotting1984 · 27/02/2017 08:41

of course you're entitled to your opinion but I believe it go be entirely wrong

Thefitfatty · 27/02/2017 08:45

Then why do you usually spit the wine out at wine tastings???

Somehowsomewhere · 27/02/2017 09:14

of course you're entitled to your opinion but I believe it go be entirely wrong

Yes, this.

SwotAnalysis · 27/02/2017 09:48

@Skooba

I worked in FB for clubs and bars and mentally debated the whole idea of legalised drug dealing vs purveyor of nothing other than taste. In the end, I think you're wrong, but close.

Alcohol has a taste and the fermentation or distillation of drinks produces an effect that can't be created with ersatz drinks. The same goes for aging wine and other spirits.

As someone who worked in the industry, I went from drinking too much and 'dabbling' to near enough teetotal. I saw too many people go the other way.

The taste that goes with alcoholic drinks is lovely. An acquired taste perhaps or one that's best appreciated by an educated palate. When I do drink I like dark, fruity reds: Aglianico, Cab Sauv, Syrah and Dolcetto. I like to drink negronis, old fashioneds and dirty gin martinis. None of these can be replicated with non-alcoholic ingredients.

You cannot produce such delightful sparkling fruit drink for a sophisticated palate without various fermentation processes. Elderberry cordial is a perfect example. Delicious as is but even nicer after a few weeks (2 months) fermentation where there's negligible alcohol content but the flavours are improved immensely.

The alcohol is of course a draw. People like its effects and arguing against this would be ridiculous. I do know plenty of people for whom the effect is secondary to the taste though.

As for the emperor's new clothes, I suggest you do a little reading about the history of booze. It's been around for a good sight longer than emperors.

@minisausage

No, it's no a lot really. not unless it's every night. I suspect it altered his mood or character slightly but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. It's unlikely to have been enough to have made him act stupidly. Perhaps a little lethargically but while you can argue it's putting drinking ahead of family, it comes down to how often he does this. Infrequently, who cares?

FWIW, I think those who come into their own after a few drinks or who can hold a coherent conversation after 4 doubles are the ones who need to worry. It should have an effect on you. If it doesn't, your body has learned to cope with a fair amount of booze and you need to think about the how / why it has.

TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork · 27/02/2017 09:53

It would over the reccomended amount if he'd done the same the night before so it is a lot

Just because it is over some arbitrary guidelines, which have no real basis in the science, does not mean it is a lot. It may or may not be, but it the guidelines do not make it so.

I don't think its a lot, at all.

EurusHolmesViolin · 27/02/2017 10:22

In terms of taste, I didn't think it was particularly controversial to say that there are alcoholic drinks with no non-alcoholic taste equivalent, and vice versa. My favourite drink is water, boringly enough, and I don't believe there's an alcoholic version of that same taste? Likewise of course some alcohol drinking is for the effect- that's why alcopops exist.

Thefitfatty · 27/02/2017 10:40

Interesting article on safe drinking limits: health.spectator.co.uk/the-great-alcohol-cover-up-how-public-health-bodies-hid-the-truth-about-drinking/

Now whether you find it credible depends on your opinion of the writer. I tend to agree with him, others won't. But an interesting read nonetheless.

MiddleClassProblem · 27/02/2017 10:46

When I was pregnant I tried non alcoholic beer. It tasted like tonic water, def not the same.

Skooba · 27/02/2017 11:25

@SwotAnalysis
The taste that goes with alcoholic drinks is lovely............

Yes, I wouldn't dispute that to be honest but how many of us are truly buying the best at the price it requires.
Tesco bargain basement offers seem to sell out pretty quickly where I live, and I'm sure that's the same all over. So claiming that it is the educated palate selecting a favourite tipple is not the case for the majority of drinkers.

MiddleClassProblem · 27/02/2017 11:29

Well I don't know. There were fears of a national prosecco shortage a few years ago. That would have been a disaster.

EurusHolmesViolin · 27/02/2017 11:34

Hmm the thing is, my preferred tipple is cheap-ish cider. There's an own brand variety that's my favourite. It's also easy on the purse, and additionally there is no soft drink that takes the same. I also like some of the more expensive ones, but the cheapo is no 1 imvho. I don't know whether my palate qualifies as refined, I suspect not. But I don't see why preference for a particular taste that can't be replicated without alcohol would have any connection with the price paid for the beverage.

TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork · 27/02/2017 11:39

Yes, I wouldn't dispute that to be honest but how many of us are truly buying the best at the price it requires

That is entirely subjective and up to your tastebuds You might think a wine needs to be fifty quid to be worth drinking, I might genuinely love an 8 pound bottle.
Either way its not easily replaceable with grape juice.

EurusHolmesViolin · 27/02/2017 11:46

And grape juice isn't easily replaceable by wine either, come to that. Hence why my DH loves Schloer but not vino!

SwotAnalysis · 27/02/2017 13:21

how many of us are truly buying the best at the price it requires

Very few.

I love cars and driving and have a nice one but not the Ferrari (FF) I'd like. I've had a few 4-figure bottles of booze (wine and spirits). None were better than my favourite (very rarely drunk) £100 red. What point are trying to make?

BoomBoomsCousin · 27/02/2017 14:39

I like really expensive smoked salmon. But it's too expensive to buy often. I can still really enjoy the 4.99 pack of farmed stuff from Tesco though. You don't have to be buying the best to enjoy something.

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