AIBU re alcohol

[minisausage]

My DH has drank 3 pints of lager and large red wine tonight. I think this is a lot considering the kids were up and I wasn't drinking. We had been driving last night. AIBU in thinking it's a lot?

I think it'a a fair bit too. Fine as a one off but if you're doing it on a regular basis it's not going to be great for your health.

Saying that, the attitude on here towards drinking is a bit odd imo. I don't really understand why it's seemingly fine to drink a bottle of wine a night several times a week, tbh.

I think the UK has a really unhealthy relationship with alcohol, though.

According to me and DH's lifestyle it's not a lot. But other people have different view points and expectations. If the OP and her husband don't regularly drink that much or do so in a regular pattern, it may seem a lot. Personally I think that weight and exercise play almost as important roles in the health of your liver. If the OP's DH is a healthy weight, exercises regularly, has at least 2 days a week off from the booze and isn't necking a bottle of vodka on a weekly basis, then from a health point of view then he'll be fine. The other considerations (drinking in front of kids, two days running, etc) is a personal issue regarding their relationship.

Haha, as expected the responses vary between its fine (which I think to) and the "oh it's far too much" responses, surprised he hasn't been accused of being an alcoholic yet!

I think it's a lot.
But I have a (recovered) alcoholic mother, and an ExP who was abusive when drunk.
And my neighbour has chronic pancreatitis as well as liver and kidney failure from the booze.
All those who don't think it's a lot, are burying their heads in the sand because they probably drink too much themselves but that's ok as long as everyone else is and they can function normally

I don't think it would be considered a lot in social terms, I know people who'd view that as 'a starter', however, it's around 10-12 units. Medically it's classed as binge drinking and considered dangerous to long term health. Possibly still over the limit to drive the next day, the type of lager makes a big difference as the alcohol content can vary (I've just been doing some training on alcohol awareness.....)

It's binge drinking which is more dangerous than drinking the recommended 14 units over the course of a week.
I'm a GP and I do think it's a lot and probably harmful drinking if it happens every week.

OP hasn't stated how much was drunk the night before

Op hasn't said if this is regular or mot but to me it read as the first time.

Harmful in what way rainbow?

I think that that is quite a lot but if it is only once a week it's acceptable. This amount two nights is borderline. 3 is too much.
After that amount you are not really up to engaging with anyone, DC or partner, so you are zoning out from your home life. Which is annoying for the other family members and not so good for the kids to see.

Rainbow - I thought drinking advice has changed and that the latest advice was that it didn't matter healthwise that your 14 units were drunk over a couple of nights or 5 nights (2 off per week). Is this wrong?

Hi sorry went to sleep.
It's just that I said to him wow that's a lot and he said it wasn't. We went out the night before so I could only manage a Diet Coke. Also when we got home he poured more wine but I had to have a cuppa instead.
He drinks all week a couple of beers each night. I'm not anti drinking in front of kids but I was just setting the scene.
Thanks for your replies.
I think he still has a drink problem.
He was ok in front of them just winding them up before bed rather than calming them.

After that amount you are not really up to engaging with anyone, DC or partner, so you are zoning out from your home life.

Surely that depends on the individual. Most men I know would not be zoning out after 3 pints over few hours....

And there's the drip feed

Sorry middleclass I wanted to know if it was a lot without knowing the rest of the story. Thanks

It doesn't make sense that you wanted to know whether that was a lot from us

Because with that but if drip feeding my answer has now changed.

Ok thanks everyone for your help.

It is a lot, regardless of how much you like it or enjoy it. The cause and effect on your body of that intake shows it's a lot.

I'd at times drink a lot - the fact that I do doesn't stop it being a lot. That loads of people do drink similar volumes in a night being doesn't stop it being a lot either. (An inconvenient truth.)

Plus there really aren't enough (any?) MNers who clutch their pearls and claim a glass of wine a night leads to cirrhosis to make that statement anything more than a defensive response.

If you enjoy drinking whatever volume think it's acceptable then fine but your opinion doesn't make it a medical or even social fact that it isn't a lot. People who believe differently aren't wrong, and any actual facts about the long term effects also aren't wrong, regardless of whether you as an individual suffer them.

Firstly it does matter as it's a different context as technically he didn't just drink the night before but the one before that and the one before that etc

You say he has 3 beers normally so really he just had one wine added to his daily so I'm surprised you thought that's a lot rather than the actual problem of daily drinking as much as he does

After that amount you are not really up to engaging with anyone, DC or partner, so you are zoning out from your home life

I don't drink beer, but after that amount my DH would be perfectly capable of engaging with his family.

I think he still has a drink problem

So he's previously had a drink problem?

After that amount you are not really up to engaging with anyone, DC or partner, so you are zoning out from your home life

Depends. Would be true for me in the case of that much alcohol, but for my DH? You wouldn't notice he'd had a drink.

Some people are drinkers, some people aren't.

Was he a drinker when you met? If so, he's not about to change anytime soon. If he was not a drinker has he had a slide into drinking all the time (usually boredom) or has he suddenly started drinking all the time?

If he drinks every evening and has more than a couple on Fri/Sat, then yes I think it is a lot.

"You say he has 3 beers normally so really he just had one wine added to his daily so I'm surprised you thought that's a lot rather than the actual problem of daily drinking as much as he does"

This is what I don't understand ^^ why has the extra glass of wine prompted this?

Of course drinking doesn't mean you don't engage with your family certainly not 3 pints.

I think drinking that amount, at the weekend, has become normalised. So, no - that doesn't seem like a lot to me - but I know it is.

I've very recently stopped drinking as my drinking had become harmful. DH's still is. That would be an average - modest amount for him (c.10 units) and he does that every day. Most of the time he thinks it is normal as he knows loads of people who drinking like this (and more). He has done it for decades. It scares me.

Anyway, if this is a one-off occasional lapse (drinking fairly heavily two days in a row) then I wouldn't be concerned but also wouldn't want it to become weekly - or worse - daily. Slippery slope and all that...it shows a lack of self-imposed 'rules' around drinking - that I recognise all too well.

It's not a lot for some people but if he drinks all night every night then yes, he has a drink problem...or to call it what it IS, he's an alcoholic.

At the start of the thread I thought it's quite a bit but not that much if it's a night out (i. e. not a regular occurrence). Then you said how much he drinks every night and my face went