Child hit my baby

[esmaesmomma]

Today I visited a children's theme park with my friend, her 2 children (aged 3 & 9) and my DD aged 9 months.

The weather wasn't brilliant so we decided to take refuge in the "adventure zone" huge I side play area. My friends children ran off happily after having some lunch and my dd stated to get restless so I decided to take her over to the baby area which is for babies and toddlers under 5. I was sat with her in the ball pool and she was smiling and giggling and sat between my legs playing it was adorable she has a ball pool at home and she loves it.

There were a couple of other children in the area most were unsupervised but were all playing lovely together. 2 little girls came in when I say little this child was around 6 possibly 7 years old defiantly too old for that area not that it's some kind of law or anything. Anyway the older girl started messing around and bashed into my dd so I moved my daughter away and carried on playing the girl moved closer and started flicking the balls so they would hit my baby. I politely asked the little girl to stop and said there was plenty of room she needed sit so close to the baby she then looked me straight in the eye and reached out and hit my dd making her cry there was no warning she was going to do this. I was mortified I moved my daughter out of the ball pool and went back to the table where I spent the next 10 mins consoling her. I told my friend what happened then looked out for the little girl I finally managed to put the child to a parent so I went over to the mother and calmly explained what happened I had Dd in my arms the mother then said my daughter wouldn't of hit yours for no reason she must of done something to her first!

I'm not one of those "it's never my kids" kind of parent but my daughter is 9 months old and can't even crawl properly or talk she was just sat with me picking up the balls.

In the end the mother did say something to her daughter but it was pretty half assed like she was only mentioning it because she felt like she had to not because she thought what her daughter had done was wrong. AIBU to think this child should of known better and to feel deeply hurt by the whole thing its left me quite upset not nice to watch your child (esp a baby) being hit by another child. I'm kind of annoyed at the mother but it's not my place to say how she should parent her child.

Would anyone of done anything differently in terms of telling the child's mother/father?

Also the man the mother was with was very apologetic he was not the child's father.

I was once minding a 7 year old who, when he thought I wasn't looking, pushed a sitting baby off the bottom of a slide, and they fell quite badly.

I was incredibly mad, and had to stop myself hauling him physically away, we went home and he went into time out for hours rather than minutes as I was so cross at him.

Children do sometimes do cruel or unexpected things 'to see what happens'. I don't think the mum handled it well at all, why would you make up that her dd hit the baby, and what could a baby do in advance that would possibly justify hitting it. Poor judgement call by her.

Not to drip feed this but shortly after she did that to my daughter while I was waiting to see what adult she went to I saw her push another child down a death slide in the bigger part. Defiantly a child who makes a habit of being mean to other children.

Oh and just to let you all know I've hugged and kissed my baby all day since and when her daddy came home and I told him he had a 2 hour long cuddle with her while watching her fav tv show and playing with her little piano so she went to bed very happy

What happened was shitty and the girl/parent were in the wrong but you really need to toughen up a bit. Your baby would have forgotten all about it in 10 minutes (you said yourself she would have been all smiles if the girl had approached her again)

I don't mean that to sound harsh! Your response just seemed a bit dramatic

I wondered how long before we got the special needs comment. prize goes to awwlook

Soft play is actual hell on earth though. When your child starts walking and climbing you'll know what I mean. Something happens to kids in there. It's like Lord of the Flies.

The parents can be just as bad, mind you.

I see what you're saying, OP, but the mother endorsed her behaviour by her (the mother's) reaction, didn't she? So she has no incentive to change how she behaves, sadly.

Omg four eyes was the baby okay? Yes I would of been cross too it's hard when you're caring for someone else's children. I've had to discipline my friends children (who are actually my 2nd cousins) my best friend is with my cousin. I usually call her and tell her what's gone on and we agree on reasonable discipline (usually just my being cross with them hurts them pretty bad because they look up to me and see me as a fun person so when I don't want to play anymore that's hard for them to take)

I'm very firm with other kids in situations like this. First time i speak quite sternly to the child and tell them it's not acceptable and if it happens again I will tell their mum blah blah etc and if it happens again I go straight to their parent. After my 5yr old son (who has ASD) had his shoes stolen in a park I take no prisoners! (I turned my back for a few seconds to deal with his crying baby sibling and turned back and the shoes were gone - just to preempt anyone telling me I should be supervising him )

Ouff I felt the pit of my stomach go for you then.... so glad your dd is ok and hoovering up the cuddles

Fwiw i think you handled it really well and didn't make it into a more upsetting scene for your dd than it needed to be. I do think there are just some people in the world whose morals and views are always going to be incomprehensible and your best putting it down to experience once you've established it's a pointless conversation.

Seven sounds slightly too old for hitting to see what happens imho although I can't deny most kids of any age do random inexplicable things from time to time. Is it easier to think she had a moment and that there wasn't actually any malice involved towards your dd?

As aside, as an unapologetic mother of a pfb, I hate the way older kids go charging through baby areas at soft play. I know the whole point is to let the kids go a bit wild, but I swear I will never let my dd do that. Is it so hard to point out one tiny area to avoid?

What a horrible child- to look you in the eye and deliberately defy you and to hit another child! Most parents would be absolutely mortified if our children hurt a baby even by accident, but intentionally is awful.

The very fact that the mother wasn't bothered and tried to shift the blames speaks volumes. No wonder her kid doesn't know how to behave.

Just to add, OP, you sound lovely. It is obvious your are full of love for your baby and come across as a lovely person.

If a child of 6 or 7 deliberately hit my DD of 9 months, I'd of fucking scared the crap out of her and made sure she wouldn't dream of going near my DD again. What a brat

Your poor DD

a death slide

sheesh, maybe pick a different softplay next time...

Hi spare, I know it seems dramatic I feel kind of wet for still being abit upset by it hours later but I struggled to have my dd had miscarriages before, a very tough pregnancy (most of it in hospital) and a traumatic labour and birth I guess I'm feeling a little protective. Today was a bit of a slap in the face because I think I finally realised that sometimes in life she is going to be hurt and I won't be able to always stop it. I know it's sounds pathetic but that little girl means more to me then anything so to see her get hit broke my heart. Sorry for sounding so soppy and dramatic x

She doesn't sound like a pleasant child!

Don't let it upset you. Someone always seems to annoy me at soft play. It's usually the parents. One day a grown man kicked a ball quite hard and and it hit my DD in the head. Another time a woman and her kids were all climbing up the big slide while everyone was trying to come down.

People are idiots.

I understand it OP.

My toddler DD got bitten on the foot by a wee girl about the same age as her a few months back. Just babies being babies but DD was devastated and I had that exact same realisation. I felt so, so bad about it and just took her home.

Eine there's 2 areas under one roof a small baby part then across the other side a huge area for older children. I only really went to help my friend with her 2 children as her eldest is autistic and her partner was at work so it can be hard to manage a day out on your own with both children. The bigger area is suitable for both her children even the 3 year old plays happily in there obviously she stays away from the death slides.

op don't feel like you have to explain yourself, there's nothing wrong with your reaction to the situation described. If you'd come on telling us how you'd dragged the girl out of the ballpit by her pigtails and squared up to her ... well yes maybe that would invite comments about over reaction. Quite a few people would feel exactly the same just as a fair few wouldn't give it a second thought.

No right or wrong, it's not important. It's just important that you make sense of it for yourself and gain a bit of parenting confidence.

Aww dizzy that's awful your poor dd! I'm
Not saying it's okay but you kind of expect it more from younger children as they are still testing boundaries but it's upsetting x

I've twice known something similar.

The first was a child who just ran up to another childminder in our group and hit the baby she was holding in the face. The parent of the baby was furious and blamed the childminder but there was literally nothing she could have done to prevent it.

The second incident happened in a designated under 4s area - again a group of older children had got in and were wreaking havoc, parents nowhere in sight. When one of the boys deliberately stamped on a child's legs, I intervened.
The mother appeared as I was telling him off and informed me that she would discipline her child. I'm afraid I wasn't polite at all and told her to start disciplining him then!

I wish people would stop suggesting that SN may be to blame. Some may have SN, but it's my experience that those children have very careful parents and carers ensuring they and the other children are kept safe.
Mostly, the problems seem to be caused by the children who have been allowed to do as they please.

Sorry OP that was meant to be a joke. A bad one, obviously. You don't normally come across "death" anything at soft play :)

Luckily most children are lovely, even the boisterous ones, but there's always one.

I think you're overreacting a bit though with all this hugging and kissing your baby all day. If you carry on like it your DD will pick up on it and she will become one of 'those' kids who act as those they've been murdered if another child accidentally knocks into her.

We see more of these mini drama queens at soft play than the genuinely nasty ones.

Lol no offence taken. It happened at that awful place (crealy) god I hate that place! better get used to it huh?

That's very unpleasant, I am sorry it happened.

Not sure what else you could do. If I was angry I might have told the girl off more or asked her to take me to her mum etc.

I think I might have laughed in her face when she said my 9 month old had done something to her 7 year old. But depends if she was tough looking!

Sorry people are very think. Sorry. (I think most kids of 7 know hitting is wrong, even if their parents are shit, they most likely go to school)