I want to tell her to fuck off

[oldjacksscrote]

Sorry it's long and boring.

We're seeing the pil tomorrow morning, OH has just spoken to mil on the phone, mentioned we were having difficulty finding a car seat to fit the new car (looking for rear facing but struggling to find any compatible) made the mistake of mentioning some of the European countries car seat laws and how good they were, this resulted in an almighty rant about how it didn't matter because we were coming out of the EU and that "they're all crap with their kids any way and England has the best safety" she went on for a while and my partner just made his excuse to end the call.

When we see MIL tomorrow I'm going to have to deal with the same conversation, which will infuriate me, she's shouty and talks over me all the time, how do I not tell her to fuck off??!

I've had a difficult relationship with pil, we were nc for a while but have all been making the effort lately for the sake of OH and our dc.

Passive aggressive knitting? Genius...

Ooh yes I often knit through awkward/boring scenarios.

Just say firmly " I really don't agree with your views but it's probably best we don't argue about it".

oldjacksscrote do you have somewhere you can try an Dee if it fits like mothercare? Might be worth a try x

Yanbu. Tell her to go fuck

She probably reads the sun and the daily mail

I remember seeing a very short interview with Amal Clooney on the red carpet. She was asked some inane question and then the interviewer said something blindingly crass and borderline (if unintentionally) offensive. She raised her eyebrows just the slightest, tiniest bit; didn't give the interviewer the grateful smile he'd been expecting, and just said 'Oh. Right,' and moved on.

I know, it's nothing, but she did it really well, it's an easy line to deliver, even if you find being openly PA difficult. I've used it once or twice; it was satisfying.

If you tweet Joie they are really good at getting back to you- I have the every stage and my car wasn't listed either and they tweeted me to confirm it fitted .

On the MIL issue - I would be so angry. Just don't engage . Ignore!

I'd go for the 'yeah, oh, uuummm' treatment while reading a book or the paper.

What's the issue with the new car?

There's some excellent Facebook groups for car seat advice.

Just ignore her. Practise your blank eye look. Sing 100 green bottles in your head while she's talking!

Can you refuse to engage?

When she gets started, wait for the smallest gap in her hate speech and say:

Wasn't the weather awful the other day?
Shall I put the kettle on?
I think I can hear my phone/ the doorbell

So you are being civil but she can see you are just ignoring everything she says and not taking it seriously.

It drives my MIL crazy

Every time she pisses you off take your phone and start playing on it, casually ignoring her. People hate that, knowing they aren't being listened to.

Or call her a 'silly old woman' see how she likes it!

Sometimes it helps to muster up feelings of sadness and pity when dealing with people like this. Its pointless letting them get to you because all they know is the art of the put-down. They present opinion as fact every time and its bloody wearing.
They don't possess the knowledge, understanding or skill to construct a well thought out argument or opinion about an issue and so, inevitably, you end up defending yourself which is exactly what they want. More opportunity to beat you down with their opinionated clap-trap.
Sadness, pity and compassion is the way to go. As they say, you can't change other people. You can only change the way you respond to them.

Just call her Nigel if she starts. (Although she might find that flattering!)

And then say "mm-hmm" (which you can do with gritted teeth) to pretty much everything else.

Oldjacks our car wasn't listed for the Joie Spin 360 but Mothercare tried it in,it car and approved the fit so we bought it and they fitted it and signed it off guaranteeing the fit was safe

*tried it in our car

Are you sure we dont have the same mil?? I spent years putting up with her, until she started interfering with how i bring up my son (had a row because she said formula was just as good as breast and i refused to formula feed). I told her to stick it where the sun doesnt shine and then told her to fuck off out of my house. I dont know why i hadnt before, it was the best feeling ever. Just tell her to do one

I would possibly perfect my best eyes glazed over look and throw in the odd "hmmmhmmm" while playing a song in my head. Then when she's finished quickly change the subject, "So storm Doris eh...."

You don't get on with your MIL. That's not uncommon.

Safe travel for everyone is paramount, so if you can't do it, don't go. If you can. grin and bear it and consider limiting contact thereafter.

I have no idea why you felt the need to introduce her anti EU views. Did you want extra sympathy?

I'd pretend to be hard of hearing for an afternoon. Water in your ears from washing your hair or something...

I have one, will have to check the name Britax Elite perhaps? It's great.

Try showing her the footage of a crash with a) forward facing b) rear facing seat and the stats on survival / life altering injuries, then ask which she would prefer for her grandchild?

Not really got anything to do with the EU has it.. except those lovely people in 'Europe' seeming to prefer their children survive a RTA, awful people...

incarsafetycentre.co.uk/product/2-way-elite-c-w-chest-clip-and-head-support-cosmos-black/

using search term 'rear facing car seat crash test' on YouTube - plenty of these:

Go for it, You will be doing her favour, She has probably not had enough people in her life tell her to fuck off before and except her behaviour which is why she is the way she is, Better late than never for her to learn that not everyone will tolerate her shitty behaviour?

I told my ex-MIL to fuck off once. It worked and she turned into an almost human being and after that always spoke to me nicely. I think I miss her tbh...

I may have been PMS-ing madly and ranted at her for a while but, hey. Whatever it takes.

If she refers to you as a "silly little girl" just say "this conversation is over" and ignore her. I do hope that your OH is onside and prepared to back you up. Good luck!