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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect dh to stay in the house when "babysitting"?

48 replies

Cuppaand2biscuits · 25/02/2017 19:00

We live in a house with an a joining garage. There is no internal doors, to access the garage you must go out the back door, through the garden into the garage.
My children are 3 and 6. My dh loves to Potter in his garage and often does so of an evening.
I'm going out tonight so I've had to fetch him in to be responsible for the children. My 6 year old has asked him not to return to the garage after they have gone to bed and he feels this is very unreasonable.

He thinks she should be quite happy in the knowledge he is just next door.
I quite agree with my 6 year old, if he's the only adult he should be close enough to hear them.

OP posts:

bonzo77 · 25/02/2017 19:02

Baby monitor?

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 25/02/2017 19:02

I agree with your daughter.

Do you think he'll just ignore her and go his own sweet way?

Original poster

Cuppaand2biscuits · 25/02/2017 19:03

We don't have one, I gave it away to a friend.

OP posts:

ApocalypseNowt · 25/02/2017 19:03

Unless you can put a monitor in there he is being U. Even then I think i'd prefer he actually be in the house.

How does he think he's going to know if they wake up/need anything?

Original poster

Cuppaand2biscuits · 25/02/2017 19:04

He said, I've been going outside after they're asleep for years, what's the difference?
The difference is she is now aware of the fact that you're probably going back outside and she doesn't like the idea of being inside without an adult. It's fair enough.

OP posts:

NapQueen · 25/02/2017 19:06

If the garage is adjoining though then he isnt really going "through the garden" is he? Just out the back door and into another door of the same building.

ConsideredThought · 25/02/2017 19:08

Well he shouldn't have been doing it for years, so needs to stop it now!

Maverickismywingman · 25/02/2017 19:08

The fact that the 6 y.o asked him not to go to the garage once they're in bed should have been enough for him to stay there.

lottiegarbanzo · 25/02/2017 19:08

Your dd is right. The DCs would be left unsupervised. Are they supposed to go outside in their PJs to find him if they need him?

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 25/02/2017 19:08

My dh loves to Potter in his garage and often does so of an evening.

What exactly is he doing?

Can he not do it in the house?

Birdsgottaf1y · 25/02/2017 19:09

This could potentially cause your DD to have anxiety and not trust your DH.

It doesn't matter what he wants to do, he has to respond to her needs, when they are reasonable and they are.

lottiegarbanzo · 25/02/2017 19:10

He's being doing it for years while you're home, or while you're out?

toomuchfaster · 25/02/2017 19:11

He's taking the piss! How long will the youngest cry before he realises? How quickly can fire spread? I've just had a similar argument with DH but only about him wearing headphones while 'babysitting'. He couldn't hear DD crying while I was in the shower or me shouting at him to go to her, so he had to accept he can't wear them.

lottiegarbanzo · 25/02/2017 19:14

I'm afraid to me it sounds negligent and unsafe. No different from asking a neighbour, in an adjoining terraced house, to 'listen out' for your DCs (who they can't actually hear).

BusyBeez99 · 25/02/2017 19:26

I can't see an issue with it

Benedikte2 · 25/02/2017 19:31

I agree this is a safe guarding issue. Surely he can bring something inside to fiddle with or find a tv programme to watch. Your OH is being massively selfish.

Bluetrews25 · 25/02/2017 19:32

You gave your daughter away to a friend??

WhisperedLoudest · 25/02/2017 19:33

Absolutely fine but not when your DD has asked him not too.

Fairenuff · 25/02/2017 19:35

I don't see any problem with him being in an adjoining garage, even if the doors are not adjoining. If you lived in a big house, he could be just as far away.

I do, however, wonder why you call it 'babysitting' when these are his own children.

I thought from your OP that he was babysitting someone else's children.

Ragwort · 25/02/2017 19:39

The Op has clearly used "babysitting" in quotes to describe the situation, you sound as though you are just being pedantic about the use of words Fairenuff.

Personally I don't really see a problem with your DH being in the garage, so long as he regularly checks in the house - I spent long periods out in the garden when my DS was young and asleep in his cot. Very similar situation.

lottiegarbanzo · 25/02/2017 19:39

I think the issue is being within earshot of shouting / crying, plus being physically reachable by a child who gets out of bed.

So large house - stay within earshot or use a monitor. Child having to go outside in PJs to find you - not ok.

Fairenuff · 25/02/2017 19:42

Maybe Ragwort, but why use the word at all? In my opinion if gives a feel to the post which is indicative of the relationship. Does OP feel that she is the main carer and he is the 'helper'?

blowmybarnacles · 25/02/2017 19:42

If he can't hear the children if they call out its not on.

nellieellie · 25/02/2017 19:43

Just no. It's a separate building. He will not be able to hear if anything is wrong. They're 3 and 6 years old. The 6 year old has already said she doesn't want him to do it. Is he really OK with his DC being frightened and unhappy in bed? It's just not on. End of.

OnionKnight · 25/02/2017 19:43

If the garage is adjoining I don't see the issue?

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