AIBU to think that flexible, family-friendly jobs do not exist.

[MothersRuinart]

A job where you don't get penalised for having to stay home with a sick child, either by having to use annual leave or take unpaid leave. A job where you can leave earlier or start later at a short notice and be able to work up the lost hours another time. A job that would allow you to work from home regularly and/or often and/or at short notice. A company or a work environment that doesn't resent you for having to miss workdays due to childcare issues. Where you're not overlooked for a promotion because you're a parent.

I've never worked for a company like that, neither have any of my friends as far as I know. Tbf, most problems would be solved if more companies allowed their staff to work from home more often or were more flexible with their hours.

I understand that there are jobs where flexibility is not an option but I think most jobs could be much more flexible than they are now.

Should not

My job is as you describe except if my child was sick I would need to work back the hours. I'm not sure many could afford that policy.

It wasn't misconduct though. She wasnt contracted to do that work, she was doing it unpaid as an extra. So cancelling it wasn't misconduct. It isn't part of her role to do residentials so she can't be disciplined for something she was doing as a favour anyway if that makes sense.

If she agreed to do it and is a salaried member of staff then to back out without good reason is arguably misconduct and refusal to work the agreed hours.

If she hadn't agreed to it in the first place that would be difference.

Residentials are optional but once opted in there is an obligation to fulfil the agreement. She went back on that and management let her get away with it.

None of the headteachers I have known and work with would have stood for that mucking about.

It was unpaid work though, it wasn't paid. Staff do residentials on goodwill. We don't get paid for them. So refusal to do unpaid, goodwill work can not be enforced. What happened after isn't up for discussion though.

We have generally great conditions but my bugbear is that we have no choice but to take unpaid leave (even if we have 30 days annual leave still to take) if a child is ill.

I feel quite strongly about challenging this. It could potentially leave low income families at risk of missing rent or mortgage payments if they have a child who picks up a week long bug.

As a single parent this policy makes me feel vulnerable even though I have a cushion of savings for this purpose. I realise I'm fortunate. Would be interested what others think of this policy.

I'm an NVQ assessor/verifier. I do a combination of wfh and at various locations through the 3 counties I work in. I can also do flexitime so can work longer of shorter days. We get 3 rolling 'family emergency' days a year but otherwise use flexi/wfh or al for sickness. I don't really see why an employer should pay you for not being there tbh though! The jobs are there but it's definitely hard. I don't know how people with babies/toddlers say they can wfh tho, I don't think it's really possible to wfh properly until kids are about 8, just too needy before and definitely too many interruptions

I'm in NZ, and many jobs are like this. At my work we have sick days dependent care, which I can use for my kids or if I need to take my mother to a hospital appt etc (which I don't usually take). My husband drops the kids at school three days a week so I can go in early (7 am) and he gets in about 9-9.30. He's a contractor so doesn't get paid for sick days but depends on the contract if he can remote in. I change my hours every holidays to do whatever works best for the kids and what else we have planned. Can also go in evenings and weekends and do my hours if I want but don't do that often.

I do work for a government Dept but there is no difference in pay to the private sector. All of my friends have somewhat similar arrangements depending on their jobs.

Agency staff wouldn't do residential trips - they are not contracted for it or paid for it.
When I was an agency supply teacher I did. Was asked to go on a geog field trip as none of the female FT staff agreed to go - negotiated a good rate and covered it. I had done quite a lot of work at that school and so knew the kids.

I used to work for a company which allowed me to start earlier and finish earlier than is standard. They were a pretty big UK company. It wasn't quite on the same terms as your OP but it was pretty good still. Unfortunately I had a major case of you don't know what you've got til it's gone and now am in a waaaay less family friendly job. Regrets!

My job is everything you describe and I don't have to work back hours if I need to leave early for my child. But I do have access to working from home and I'm expected to keep on top of my work in that way. I think it's terrible when ppl are penalised for being parents.

Well, I would expect to use either annual leave or unpaid leave to look after a sick child. I doubt many employers will pay sick child leave. But I have to say I have a lot of flexibility, combination of my role ( research, doesn't actually matter most of the time whether I'm there or not) and employer attitude ( Mumsnet family friendly gold award winner!,).

I think it's terrible when ppl are penalised for being parents.

I think it depends on what you mean by "penalized for being parents" though.

For example, I am a parent and if I was denied a promotion I was more than qualified for purely on the basis of me being a parent and occasionally having to leave early/arrive late/take a day off short notice for issues with my DD, then yes I am being penalized for being a parent

If I take a day off work and it is unpaid because my DD is ill and I either can't/don't want to use up AL days, then I'm not being penalized for being a parent. I'm being penalized for not turning up to work without prior authorisation, just like any other colleague would if they did the same thing.

The problem comes when some people seem to think that being a parent entitles you to be given extra flexibility above and beyond other colleagues just because they have children. Just because people don't have children doesn't mean they have zero responsibilities beyond work, and when people like User expect co-workers to "give parents a break at work" they are suggesting that parents should have extra priveleges purely for procreating ... and whilst I like to think I'm a pretty good parent and never object to awards, that's one I'm happy to pass on.

I work in the charity sector. Lots of women in their 30s & 40s and many benefits such as flex working, childcare support etc. My particular organisation is known to be one of the best for employee welfare. I worked hard in my job for 6 years before I had DC1 and was supported & encouraged to come back 3 days per week (2 full, 2 half) with one in the office and two from home. They do exist but you may need to prove yourself first and work for a truly ethical organisation that understand the benefits of retaining staff throughout young DCs life.

Only way to get that is to be self employed, and even then imagine being self employed, hiring a couple of staff who you entirely rely on, then imagine them being off at short notice, potentially letting you/other employees/clients down and you can see how genuinely flexible jobs that pay well are like hen's teeth.

My job ticks all of the boxes you mentioned in OP. I work for a law firm, and the partners are very understanding of childcare issues, child sickness, changing hours to suit school run etc. Pay isn't bad either.

When DS was younger I worked in the Education Dept of my local council 9.30 - 2.30 term time only and they were very understanding if I needed time off due to sickness/teacher days, we had opportunity to build up flexi time/ go into debit on hours and very occasionally I was also allowed to work from home when DS was sick. The particular department and job role no longer exist following cuts a few years back though.

My job is not far off that. I work full time in a senior management position for a large finance company. I negotiated flexible working on my return from mat leave, which included varying start and finish times to accommodate Nursery drop offs/pick ups, and minimum one day a week WFH, which is flexible in that I can pick the day to fit around work/home commitments. Some weeks do a couple of days WFH. Very occasionally I'll do work on an evening but usually only to make up for reduced hours in the day. Kids appointments (both have consultant lead care for long term conditions) are fitted in around work without using holiday/unpaid leave. But so much is down to individual Director/manager discretion - mine is very family orientated. When my LG had two weeks in hospital and I was off work I was told not to worry about it, i.e. didn't use holidays and still got paid for it. But I have worked in the same dept years and have a very strong work ethos, and good back up childcare, if kids can't go to Nursery then I have grandparents as back up (unless very poorly then of course I look after them myself), but have had very few days off to cover childcare and that is recognised. I also need to travel occasionally with the odd night away from home, which I always do and this too is appreciated. I consider myself incredibly lucky that there's a lot of give and take both ways and I'm trusted to manage my own time. Also promoted within 6 months of coming back of mat leave, so there are definitely opportunities out there in large organisations. However as I said quite often it depends on your line manager, I do know of some teams in the same company who where 9-5 is expected and WFH is considered a scive.

I'm self employed and that works well around children. Does mean often doing paperwork after the kids have gone to bed but for me, it works well (no sickness or holiday pay though)

My work is exactly as you discribe. The culture is excellent. I'm never ever leaving!

Well, there are plenty of flexible employers around but, to be honest, I think you'd be expected to take annual leave if your child was sick. The flexibility would take the form of you not having to book your leave in advance.

S

Bobbi73 that's so great to hear - well done to you. I'm self employed too, I love it.

I work for a public sector organisation in Scotland and have to say it is super duper family friendly...very flexible, option to homework one day a week (obvs not looking after the DC at the same time, they have to be in nursery), flexi time that can be used at short notice. I totally appreciate how amazing it is and never take it for granted. No-one with a young family has ever left to go and work elsewhere!

I think it's a frustrating issue for women. Society expects us to work, not be sahm (and most women want to work) and being a sahm is viewed by many (incorrectly) as a lazy option.

Really? I don't think that's true. What makes you think that SAHMs are considered lazy or that 'society' expects you to work?

I think society expects you to be a SAHM or at the least 'part time'. How would you 'cope' otherwise?