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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my wife to use my favourite hat to waft her farts

47 replies

joystir59 · 24/02/2017 21:14

That's it really- just sitting here watching TV and she does a little deadly one and reaches to grab my beautiful little hand knitted fair isle hat off the arm of the chair in order to waft the fumes away. Imagine tomorrow, walking through town and everyone sniffing as I pass by.

OP posts:
DeathByMascara · 24/02/2017 21:15

I love her.

ArchNotImpudent · 24/02/2017 21:17

I can't imagine a knitted hat is very effective at fart-wafting. Have you considered buying her a fan?

Iris65 · 24/02/2017 21:17

🤣

OnHold · 24/02/2017 21:18

Urgh

fruitbats · 24/02/2017 21:23

I think it's a good use for a fair isle hat Grin

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 24/02/2017 21:25

I can't believe people are making light of this situation.

Get her a Panama Grin

RustyPaperclip · 24/02/2017 21:27

That is a shocking use of a hand knitted fair isle hat! Whatever next?! Will she be wiping the sweat from her brow with a mohair sweater? Nip it in the bud OP. This is a serious crime against knitwear

Hellmouth · 24/02/2017 21:27

Hey at least she tried to waft it away :D

Hassled · 24/02/2017 21:27

I think this all hinges on who knitted the hand-knitted hat. Much loved elderly aunt or suchlike = YANBU. Someone you've never met = YABU.

Wriggler79 · 24/02/2017 22:03

Best AIBU ever.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 24/02/2017 22:05

Does she waft it towards you? I wouldn't allow my hat to be used in such a foul manner, tbh. Hide the hat and buy her a newspaper.

EightiethElement · 24/02/2017 22:07

ha ha! Grounds for divorce.

FatOldBag · 24/02/2017 22:11

Was she wafting towards you, or away? If away then YABU, she was being very considerate.

ChampagneTastes · 24/02/2017 22:13

I'm conflicted.

dontbesillyhenry · 24/02/2017 22:13

This is so bizzare but satisfying

steff13 · 24/02/2017 22:13

If you had put your hat away instead of leaving it on the arm of the chair, it wouldn't have been there for her to use.

BigApple11 · 24/02/2017 22:14

Give her some matches and tell her to light them from now on.

PidgeyfinderGeneral · 24/02/2017 22:15

I bet the OP has a beard and a fixie.

MollyRedskirts · 24/02/2017 22:16

Definitely being unreasonable. A Fair Isle hat is too floppy, what was she thinking? Something more solid is needed for optimal wafting.

Have you considered replacing your favourite hat with a top hat? Then she can fart into it and sort of funnel it... outwards during wafting.

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 24/02/2017 22:16

YABU for keeping a hat on the arm of a chair.

elQuintoConyo · 24/02/2017 22:38

Personally i use DH's sombrero for a Mexican Wave effect Grin

RustyPaperclip · 24/02/2017 22:44

I like your thinking Molly however there is much to be said for the Mexican wave effect

wump · 24/02/2017 22:52

Ltb

Ohyesiam · 24/02/2017 22:54

What wump said.