To not want my wife to use my favourite hat to waft her farts

[joystir59]

That's it really- just sitting here watching TV and she does a little deadly one and reaches to grab my beautiful little hand knitted fair isle hat off the arm of the chair in order to waft the fumes away. Imagine tomorrow, walking through town and everyone sniffing as I pass by.

LTB

I like the sound of the Mexican wave effect. DH's farts are so deadly that he's been known to clear an entire office. If I could get a circular Mexican wave effect going, would it bounce around back to him so he'd get a measure of his own foul brew?

Molly that won't work - everyone loves their own brew!

Hahaha thank you for a great laugh op I can make my cats give me dirty looks as they are running to the other side of the room.

Book yourself a spa weekend...that'll teach her 😁

Knit is far too absorbent, the fart will be caught up in the fibre forever.😷

If you feel ucomfartable with the way she deals with these things, let her know

YABU to call her fart deadly. Smelling farts reduces risk of heart disease. So farts are decidedly undeadly.

This is amazing...

Well I think it's disgusting!

A man posting on MN, whatever next?!

Am I the only one who assumed the OP is a woman? This is the real gay agenda: fart-wafting and hat abuse.

She really needs to buy her own fart hat so as not to cause unecessary matrimonial upset

@heyheyheygoodbye no, I did too!

@heyheyheygoodbye me too!

From the way the post is written I have images of the wife - man from del monte style recline pose wafting a knitted fedora around the nethers. Sounds quite dreamy.

You need a formed hat for fart waftage. Like a trilby, or a fedora like Indiana Jones wears. He not doing much nowadays so he might lend you it to test.

What Steff said - if you put the hat away, then your wife wouldn't be able to do it. My DH has a habit of leaving his hat all over the place. I shall give serious thought now to using it as a fart wafter. Your wife is a star in my book.

Good God, I sit here absolutely flabbergasted. I'd be phoning the Knitwear-Police forthwith. They'll cart her off and she'll remain in custody until she's knitted you a new one.

Can that poor abused hat be revived with Febreze...I know it's a long shot!

Really we urgently need to know, don't drip feed, was she wafting towards you or away?

She was wafting towards me! Sorry for the delay in posting. Hat now put safely away.