To put DS in a 'kids' camp' on holiday?

[user1487945602]

DS is 4. He loves nursery, etc.

We are currently on holiday (2nd day) and DS keeps wanting us to go swimming, build sand castles, get him an ice-cream, play with him, etc.

I'm early stages of 2nd pregnancy and can't wait for him to have a sibling to play with no, but seriously, I'd really like to just relax. I know that being a parent means doing what your child would like, but I would absolutely love to be able to just relax in the sun!

It is DH's day today - he has taken him swimming (DS found the pool a bit too cold) but obviously DH had to get in first, so was extremely touchy after as DS didn't even end up being in the pool longer than 5 mins.

Has played on the beach with him (built a hole, etc.) so has been entertained. We all went to lunch together.

DS won't sit on a lounger for 5 minutes/play on his own for a short while. I don't mean to sound mean, but I don't think it's particularly evil of us to say he has to.

We suggested the holiday camp that's at our hotel and he says he wants to stay with us, so I suppose that's why I'm asking.

He says he would like to stay with us for nursery but then goes and really enjoys it. I know he would have fun. WIBU to put him in it? Just for the mornings.

Hi. We ended up trying him for 1 morning. Got there after 3 hours and leader said she had him on her lap most of the time sobbing we have decided probably not the best idea now. Thanks for the comments though. I'm glad we tried it just to see if he would enjoy. Wasn't keen on coming back to admit this oh well, he's okay now and is enjoying his holiday.

No, we do not find him a burden

Gosh - we must be vile parents. We put DS (3) and DD (2) in kids club for 2 hours per day on holiday last year The baby even went for an hour (she was asleep in her pram) one day.

Thankfully we were on holiday with other equally negligent people as the kids clubs were stuffed!

OP. Glad you tried it, sorry he had a miserable time, enjoy the rest of your holiday!

Poor lamb. Oh well. You know now.

we used the siesta excuse, youngest needed a nap so elder 2 went to the club for a few hours, it was all inclusive so food and drink not problem. Older kids had fun, toddler got a much needed nap and parents got some discreet time.

Gobbolino it really isn't about being 'vile' or 'negligent' - lots of people have posted that their kids enjoy kids' club and ask to go. There is nothing wrong with that. What would be pretty vile would be forcing a kid to go every day of their holiday if they didn't enjoy it - so there is nothing wrong with the OP having tried it, but since her little boy was upset then she won't send him again. A poster upthread advocated sending kids 'even if they hate it' on the grounds that they would 'survive'. That's pretty vile and selfish. It's very different to the people whose kids beg to go and make loads of friends and have a whale of a time. Using the kids' club in those circumstances is of course not vile or negligent in the slightest. I don't have a problem with kids' club existing, I just would never force an unhappy child to go to one. Unfortunately, OP has found her little boy didn't like it so she isn't sending him again - she wasn't wrong to try though. Hope you enjoy your holiday and get a rest, OP.

I think very few people would force a distressed child to go and any decent kids club phone the parents to pick up if they can't settle a child after about 10 minutes - some of the comments on here are the most ridiculous hyperbole though!

Three hours sobbing? FFS
Didn't you think to check?
Hope you enjoyed the rest.

Oh your poor DS, he did tell you he didn't want to go. Please listen to him next time.

I do find it a bit strange that you say you were glad you tried it though. If that was me, I would be devastated I'd tried it and left him upset for 3 hours.

OP mine wasn't ready for kids club until she was 6 but the loved it and wanted to back this year so we are (scott Dunn kids clubs are amazing)

Well, you tried it and you're not making him go back so that's fine.

I think it depends on the type of child whether they will enjoy a kids club. I was shy and never made friends on holidays. I was happy with just my family. We tried a kids club one year at a campsite when I was about 10. I hated it so much that I left and went back to the caravan. Other kids seemed to be enjoying it though. It's probably the same as some adults enjoying bars and clubhouses on holiday and others not.

Well done for at least trying it - personally our DS loved going to holiday clubs - it was the highlight of the holiday for him .

Different people have different expectations of holidays - I find 'family' holidays incredibly stressful, difficult - and not to mention expensive - and it just seems to be a huge compromise all the time and no one really enjoys the whole thing. Just as bad now that DS is a teen. I would love to be one of those happy families that all enjoy a great time together - I have a close friend who still holidays with her two grown up children no doubt because they are paid for.

I prefer going away with a girl friend - that for me is total relaxation. DH and DS love a winter skiing holiday so we are all happy!

Very brave OP! Good on you for coming back. I was just going to point out that he won't remember this holiday anyway as he's too young.

Worth a try OP, at least you know now. Maybe when he's older.

when mumsnet started a pregnant woman worrying about needing a break from her child for a few hours would have received support even from those who would themselves make a different choice. Now it has apparently become acceptable to be rude but not like having it pointed out that your own parenting choices can be criticised. It should make those who jumped in to criticise reconsider their rudeness.

OP if the play leader couldnt distract him and didnt phone to tell you that then its best not to send him again but he will not remember this holiday later in life. You may find there are other young children around who would be happy to play with your child on the beach. At 4 I dont think you can expect him to sit on a lounger but you can encourage him to build a sandcastle or other sand creations, dig a hole or cover mummy or daddy with sand. The last one takes quite a while and mummy or daddy gets a rest. One parent can take him for a walk along the beach looking for shells or debris to decorate sand animals. His father could take him wave jumping if you dont feel up to it and either or you can try stone skimming.

Anywhere around you with a heated pool? A lot of hotels will let you use their facilities for a day if you pay them.

You are glad you tried it? Even though the result was your ds crying for three hours.
What are you glad about exactly?

Ha, after alreadytaken's very sensible first paragraph which had me nodding along O scroll and see AndNowItsSeven's. The irony!

AndNowItsSeven Did you mean to sound so mean?

Not mean no, genuinely why would you be glad that your child was distressed with a stranger for three hours.
Surely the normal response would be , wish I hadn't tried it, was clearly the wrong decision. .

I don't think it was wrong to try it but I'm a bit surprised that you left him for three whole hours without checking he was okay....

Some of the sanctimonious comments on here...jeez. People feel "sad" for the child because his parents find it hard work keeping him entertained for hours end on holiday. Some kids will occupy themselves a bit, play with mum and dad a bit, find other kids to play with a bit...which is fine...others want your full attention all the time and that is HARD (esp when you're pregnant and knackered). It's also frustrating when they go on about wanting to do something (e.g. Swimming) and you do all the faffing about to get ready then they decide they didn't want to do it after all. For most parents that's bloody annoying. It's called being human. To question why OP is having another child on the back of this is just appalling and really makes me want to give up on MN/the internet in general.

As for people being so angry with OP for not checking back on him, surely the Kids Club should have let her know if he was so upset, I think it's reasonable to have assumed he was OK otherwise, and constantly going back to check isn't always especially helpful. (I'm assuming they had OP's contact details).

I don't think people are saying OP should have constantly gone back to check but I think people are just a bit surprised that they didn't check on him at all.

OPs DS said he didn't want to go so OP had an idea there was a possibility he would have been unhappy. If it was me, I would have popped back after 20 minutes/half an hour to check on him and if he wasn't happy then took him out. I wouldn't have taken him in the first place though, unless he was asking/really keen to go.

The holiday club should have phoned though, I would have said to them if he's unhappy in any way then phone me straight away and I'll come and get him. Maybe OP did this in which case the club are fully at fault but doesn't sound like she did.

Yes kids can be hard work. That's normal. Yes it's frustrating when they go on and on about swimming then get out after 30 seconds - that's normal 4 year old behaviour on holiday!
OP has her DH there, surely DH can play with DS for a couple of hours/get an ice cream etc while OP sunbathes/reads her book. I understand it's tiring being pregnant and having another one to look after so maybe DH needs to do a bit more.

So it doesn't matter what you do with your child up to the age of about five or so because 'they won't remember it'? Erm, ok. I happen to think that being made to go to a holiday club with strangers when you've asked to stay with your mum and dad and then being comforted by a stranger whilst you sob for three hours and mummy/daddy don't reappear in all that time is pretty bloody traumatic. No, he may not explicitly remember the events in a year or two but these kind of things cause clinginess, insecurities, anxiety...

As for previous posts - Mumsnet isn't about blind support, thank goodness! Sometimes a dose of reality is far more appropriate. Especially if they are posting specifically to ask if they are being unreasonable. Yes - expecting to lie on a sun lounger when you have a 4 year old is unreasonable. Yes, sending him to be cared for by strangers instead when he has specifically asked to stay with you is unreasonable.

Agree with Jayne. If you ask, don't be surprised if you receive some criticism. Calling all criticism 'rudeness', regardless of its basis or how it is delivered probably belongs in The Other Place.

Your bubba, ur rules hun, eh?

Nice.