To put DS in a 'kids' camp' on holiday?

[user1487945602]

DS is 4. He loves nursery, etc.

We are currently on holiday (2nd day) and DS keeps wanting us to go swimming, build sand castles, get him an ice-cream, play with him, etc.

I'm early stages of 2nd pregnancy and can't wait for him to have a sibling to play with no, but seriously, I'd really like to just relax. I know that being a parent means doing what your child would like, but I would absolutely love to be able to just relax in the sun!

It is DH's day today - he has taken him swimming (DS found the pool a bit too cold) but obviously DH had to get in first, so was extremely touchy after as DS didn't even end up being in the pool longer than 5 mins.

Has played on the beach with him (built a hole, etc.) so has been entertained. We all went to lunch together.

DS won't sit on a lounger for 5 minutes/play on his own for a short while. I don't mean to sound mean, but I don't think it's particularly evil of us to say he has to.

We suggested the holiday camp that's at our hotel and he says he wants to stay with us, so I suppose that's why I'm asking.

He says he would like to stay with us for nursery but then goes and really enjoys it. I know he would have fun. WIBU to put him in it? Just for the mornings.

As he is usually in nursery don't send him think it will be nice to spend time with you.
Holiday time is the one time you have time to play.

Definitely do it. It's your holiday too, you are a person in your own right and not just a parent, and you should be able to spend some time on holiday relaxing without feeling guilty about it.

On our last holiday we put DS in the kids club from 2.30-5.30 every day. It was the perfect balance for us - we spent the mornings playing together on the beach, had lunch and a bit of quiet time/ siesta together, and then he played with other children whilst DH and I had a bit of adult relaxing time. We all came back relaxed and refreshed.

"Family" holidays should be about balancing the needs of all of the family. They don't have to revolve entirely around the children.

We're planning a family resort type holiday in 2018 with a nearly 9yo and a 3yo. We'll be choosing one with a well reviewed kids club. Not because we want to put them in there all day, every day, but because I know our 9yo loves other people and because I think the 3yo will enjoy some different activities (crafts, toys to play with etc) in an air conditioned environment. We plan to try it out for a couple of hours max a day so DH and I can spend one-on-one time with the other child or just have some quiet time without the children (which we very rarely get due to no local family).

I don't think there's any harm in giving it a try and seeing what your DS thinks. If he doesn't like it, then you're a bit mean to ship him off there all day every day, but an hour or two a day isn't going to impact on your family time and in fact might make it more fun when you're together.

I know I find our children a chore when you're with them 24/7 and have no time to yourself. I'm a better parent when I've just had an hour or two to be me rather than 'mum', not every day but I know when I'm overdue!

Have a lovely holiday.

Assuming the child doesn't hate the kids club (and I'd allow for a bit of gentle cajoling to get them to try it), I think it's preferable to have a couple of hours in kids club for you to relax and then be able to spend the rest of your day more refreshed and focused on your DC than it is to spend the whole day trying to compromise (DC getting whiney because they want more attention, you getting ratty because you can't relax).

100% "off duty" followed by 100% "on" is better than being 50% "on" the whole time.

I will probably get shouted at for this but......You decided on having children, you have children to look after, love, cherish, make them happy. Not to leave them on their own with people they don't know just so you can laze beside a pool.
I'm sorry but if he goes to nursery during the week for quite a few hours all he probably wants is to be with his parents!
I have 4 children and never once have I thought about putting them in holiday clubs just so I could sit without them each day.
Good luck with your next holiday with 2 children.

Not too sure about naming a child after a Nintendo product but to all their own.

Yes - at least try it. i used to always do club med when mine were little just for the clubs - we'd have the morning to relax and collect after lunch to play with them - it's your holiday too and he will enjoy the club. It's there- use it!

I will probably get shouted at for this but......You decided on having children, you have children to look after, love, cherish, make them happy. Not to leave them on their own with people they don't know just so you can laze beside a pool.
I'm sorry but if he goes to nursery during the week for quite a few hours all he probably wants is to be with his parents!
I have 4 children and never once have I thought about putting them in holiday clubs just so I could sit without them each day.
Good luck with your next holiday with 2 children.

THATS PROBABLY WHY YOUR USER IS ...STRESSYMUM4

Try being less sanctimonious and a little more human and you might not stress so much - its bad for your kids.

I agree with stressymum. OPs DS has already said he does not want to go to the kids club and has said quite clearly what he wants to do on his holiday. Spend it with his mum and dad, go to the beach, eat ice cream etc... who takes a holiday in shifts to look after your own child? It's totally selfish. My kids have never gone in to a kids club on holiday. I like too spend time with them.

well I took the view that my job was to raise children to be happy, well adjusted adults not spoilt whining brats who expected mummy and daddy to be at their beck and call forever.

Kids clubs don't, IME, last all day and leave plenty of time to play on the sand and have ice-cream. Of course I didnt have masses of children and therefore was able to give more individual attention than those who chose differently.

I agree with Stressymom too. Sorry!

I have two children, one of them has severe asd and learning disabilities. Life is challenging and difficult at times but there is no way I would put them in a kids club with strangers on holiday. You're only there a week or so so it's not like school or nursery where they gradually get used to the people. They're in a strange place, with strange people. It just seems weird to me.

If you're struggling with pregnancy then dh should be doing a lot more.

What Fairylea says.
I don't think it's sanctimonious to not like the idea of leaving a very small child (and believe me, 4 is very small, in the scheme of things - my eldest is 11) with people he doesn't know on holiday, which is supposed to be his holiday too. Two hours is nothing to an adult but an eternity to a small child who may have no reliable sense of time passing yet.

My dd's nursery told me yesterday that their policy is that children have to have three weeks out of nursery per year, at least two of which must be continuous. This is partly for their organisational reasons but primarily in the interests of the child. Group childcare is a stress on the child - this is not an anti-nursery post at all, my 17mo is in nursery. But when you are 'off' at the beach etc, your child is 'on' in kids' club. Some children might thrive in that environment, but your ds doesn't sound like he does.

I should add that I sent my 11 and 8yo on a 5-day musical camp last summer. They had a brilliant time and one of them hadn't been hugely keen in the run-up. So I'm not of the 'my child must spend every minute of every holiday at my side until the age of 18' persuasion. But 4 is so very little, and this particular 4yo is expressing a very clear preference.

YABU. One session at kids club is fine but You must have known when you had a child that holidays would never be the same again and you wouldn't be able to lounge around in the sun all day that's what having kids is kind of all about.

There are so many people that wouldn't do this it amazes me.

We've just got back from Crieff hydro where their childcare is full every single day! There's tons of people who do it, me included whose children love it.

DD is an only, very active and doesn't do 'relaxing'. From age 2 she went into a kids club session every other day on every holiday we went on. Sometimes she didn't want to go at first, but she had fun every single time. She made friends that she would then see by the pool or at the 'mini-disco' at night. She's a very full-on kid and at the time I also had a very full-on job, I needed some 'off' to keep me sane!

She stopped going at about 8 I think, on the provisio that she gave DH and I a 'break' every day - she needed to read a book, or play a game, or build a sandcastle etc on her own for an hour to allow us to nap /read /sunbathe whatever to recharge for whatever else she wanted us to do! She's nearly 12 now and the same rules apply.

It works well, and in fact on our Christmas holiday last year she actually booked herself into the kids club twice on colder days when she didn't want to swim - she went with a friend and they had a couple of hours without us boring 'olds'!

Holidays are for everyone and going into a kids club is hardly a chore.

I wouldn't but that's my personal preference. I'm a lone parent, my DS will be 4 in June and we go abroad often. It's tiring but I like having that time to spend with him.

If he wanted to go to the kids clubs when he gets older then he can but I don't particularly want to at this age. I don't want strangers looking after my young child abroad.

already who said they have 'masses of children' I have seen someone right 4 children, as far as I can see no one has written any more than that? If that's what you're referring to, 4 may seem a lot to you, that doesn't mean that everyone else feels the same. It also doesn't mean that others can't divide their attention amongst their kids. I have 3 kids and manage just fine. Seems a underhanded way of having a pop at someone for how many kids they have imho.

I have DD(10) - and we always let her go to the kids clubs if available.

She often makes a friend for the week, and it stops her being stuck with dull ol' mum & dad all the time.

We have done this since she was about three.

Oh good lord yes put him in camp. The only reason not to do it is if your son is unhappy there. But we've found our son is happier having had some proper kids activities and a good run around with children his own age (and teen/early 20s staff with boundless energy) than with boring old us!

In the past we've often done breakfast together, morning at kids club then possibly lunch altogether, rest / nap after lunch then swimming altogether in the afternoon.

Obviously holidays with kids are never going to be as relaxing as without but you don't have to be a martyr and everyone deserves to have fun!!

I'm also completely amazed by the number of people who view this as unacceptable!! With both DH and I having very full on jobs and busy lives with DC and all the rest of it, I'd go mad if I didn't have the chance to unwind for a couple of weeks a year.

Some people can unwind and relax with their kids around. I like doing stuff with them, DH is really good at playing all kinds of energetic games with our DC and there are enough of them to have fun together.

We tend to think of holidays as having a fun time together, we all get to eat together which we don't get to do in everyday life and I can read my book in the evening when they're asleep.

That said, we've never been anywhere where there was a kids club so it's not like I've ever had the option!

already is this Of course I didnt have masses of children and therefore was able to give more individual attention than those who chose differentl a pop at me for having 4 kids and using a kids club. With all due respect, you don't know my situation and I'm not about to explain them to you. My kids are happy and so am I and my husband.

I suspect your underhand and, frankly, unecessary comment says more about you and my 'masses' of kids and the lack of attention I am able to provide.

There's 'letting' a child go to kids' club - fine - and there's 'making' them go - less fine, IMO.

Gah, and in the second but last line should be than