To put DS in a 'kids' camp' on holiday?

[user1487945602]

DS is 4. He loves nursery, etc.

We are currently on holiday (2nd day) and DS keeps wanting us to go swimming, build sand castles, get him an ice-cream, play with him, etc.

I'm early stages of 2nd pregnancy and can't wait for him to have a sibling to play with no, but seriously, I'd really like to just relax. I know that being a parent means doing what your child would like, but I would absolutely love to be able to just relax in the sun!

It is DH's day today - he has taken him swimming (DS found the pool a bit too cold) but obviously DH had to get in first, so was extremely touchy after as DS didn't even end up being in the pool longer than 5 mins.

Has played on the beach with him (built a hole, etc.) so has been entertained. We all went to lunch together.

DS won't sit on a lounger for 5 minutes/play on his own for a short while. I don't mean to sound mean, but I don't think it's particularly evil of us to say he has to.

We suggested the holiday camp that's at our hotel and he says he wants to stay with us, so I suppose that's why I'm asking.

He says he would like to stay with us for nursery but then goes and really enjoys it. I know he would have fun. WIBU to put him in it? Just for the mornings.

already- 'masses of children'

well I took the view that my job was to raise children to be happy, well adjusted adults not spoilt whining brats who expected mummy and daddy to be at their beck and call forever

Absolutely. I'm fairly sure that most parents do the same thing. Also, I always think that happy, well adjusted adults don't feel the need to make needlessly mean-spirited comments to complete strangers. Odd behaviour in my book.

Of course I didnt have masses of children and therefore was able to give more individual attention than those who chose differently

Not sure about the 'of course' part, but your comment made me think of a friend with 6 children, who is hands down one of the parents I admire most. Some people can absolutely handle being an attentive, loving, involved parent to multiple children, and even manage to be a kind, generous person with it!

I think that children's clubs are a good idea if children enjoy them and its worth a bit of gentle persuasion to get them to try. However, I totally disagree with the posters suggesting it should be "non-negotiable" etc. It is his holiday too and if you have children you should put their needs first. The non-relaxing holidays only last for a few years and it may not be long before they don't want to spend any time with you....

There's 'letting' a child go to kids' club - fine - and there's 'making' them go - less fine, IMO.

And somewhere in between there's 'giving them the opportunity to try it out even if they protest because you think they'll enjoy it, but not forcing them to if they try it and don't like it.'

OP knows from experience that her DS will whinge about not wanting to go to nursery but then enjoy himself so she's got reason to think it's worth a try.

Our DDs were 5.7 and just 10 when we first went to Eurocamp in France. They spent some of the time in The kids club and the rest of the time doing family stuff with us.
They loved Kids club and asked if they could go again on another holiday.
We found a mixture of the family and kids club time went well.
We wouldn't have put them in Kids club for the whole holiday.

I couldn't leave my 4 year old in a kids club especially if he doesn't want to go.
Holidays change when you have kids, boozy nights followed by days on sun loungers are not on a child's radar (to be fair it also my idea of holiday hell)
Rather than lazing on a sundowner why not go and visit places? Most times I've been abroad there are animal parks etc to visit. Perhaps by tiring him out he might have a long afternoon sIeep and you could laze around then.
Probadly when they get older they would be more willing to go to clubs away from parents.

My children never went to kids clubs I was so busy the rest of the year it was my time to spend with them without rushing.
Having said that at four I wasn't spending every minute entertaining them.

I loved the kids club when I was young! I loved having a big group of kids to play with and going on all the outings (pool, beach etc) and activities they put in inside!

I think my smuggest moment as a parent was seeing my four all happily occupied reading after a busy morning at the beach.

But having lots of kids, or holidaying with friends with kids, really helps because they amuse each other. We once went camping in France with my sister and my best friend. There were six adults and 11 children aged between 2 and 15. We hardly saw the older ones for two weeks and the little ones played together happily.

I think that's a good point, tinkly. Part of the reason we have used kids clubs in the past is that DS was then an only child and frankly was bored of us and needed company his own age!!

OP has one child who might enjoy spending time with other children.

We were in the siesta camp when the children were tiny and stay up late or if staying self catering keep vv busy and have child free evening .

Siestas are a great idea if you have children who will nap in the day - lots won't and just get more and more overtired and hyper if they stay up very late. For a child not that way inclined keeping them up late just gives you a hideous day the next day.

Although the siestas idea makes me wonder whether people who wouldn't put a 4 yo in kids club because he wants to stay with them (despite the fact that he says the same about nursery but enjoys it once there) would also allow the 4 yo not to go to bed til his parents did if he said he didn't want to go to bed and wanted to stay with them...

You have to enforce the siesta 5moreminutes. Mine will never nap at home unless ill or a particularly long car journey. On our first day of our holiday last year our five year old refused the first day but learned his lesson at 10pm when we were going out for dinner and he was tired and grumpy so on day two he happily had a nice long sleep. They soon get into the routine.

5moreminutes

Only have the one dd but second the enforcing the siesta with dd to stay u late. Dh and I did it on holiday when she was 5/6 every day, most days at 7 and perhaps once at 8 as she was exhausted. Either dh or I took her to bed and she was asleep within maybe 15 mins.

Mine won't siesta, not as a baby nor now as a tween. We tried (God how we tried) and a number of times the adult trying to get her to sleep fell asleep themselves instead!

She didn't get too grumpy in the evening though - when we still had the buggy she would climb into it at about 9:30 and fall asleep, but once that went she just stayed awake until we all went to bed.

I can't be the only person in the world to have the incredible non sleeping kid surely? She's also up at sparrows fart every morning,

I'm quite good at getting children to sleep. When I worked in day nurseries we had no nap refusers in my rooms. Three year old DN hasn't napped for her parents since she was 9 months old but sleeps for me every single time without fail.

I don't know how you "enforce a siesta" either Dallas.

You can force them to lie in the bed for an hour but not force them to sleep.

My two both dropped daytime naps before they were 2 yo.

However we always go self catering and don't have to share rooms so there's no need to keep them up late on holiday.

We rent self catering villas but mostly eat out so ours do need to stay up late. The last place we stayed the whole village except one taverna shut down between around 1 and 5. Having the kids splashing about in the pool etc at this time would have felt disrespectful to the locals.

I always thought kids clubs were for bad parents and holidays were for spending time as a family. I was wrong!!

We're going to a hotel with a kids club third year running as we have the best time as a family.

The kids go to club most days 10-12 and do activities and play. When they're done we're recharged and they're entertained and ready to relax.

Win, win! We don't make them go but occasionally persuade them to try it with the option for us to be fetched if they don't want to stay.

Give it a try and see what it's like/how gets on. If it doesn't work out one session won't scar him x. Have a lovely holiday xx

Re siestas: 2/3 of my children were v poor nappers at home but tiredness from the journey and no option given meant that they accepted the nap. I would make room dark and sit nearby reading and the carrot of staying up to eat with us helped. We kept it up even when they were older e.g. After a day skiing we expected them to have a lie down/ nap before evening meal...
lots of things are different 'on holiday ' and this is another

Not everyone wants to keep their kids up late, not everyone wants to enforce siestas, not everyone wants to persuade their children to give holiday club a go because they'll probably enjoy it, not everyone wants to go on the same type of holiday or structure their day the same way once there.

In the end though there is nothing wrong with taking a 4 yo to try an hour at holiday club, leaving your number to be called if he isn't enjoying it after you've been gone for fifteen minutes, any more than there is anything wrong with enforcing a siesta or keeping a child up past their usual bedtime even when they are tired the first time surely...

My kids are past the age of any of this being an issue really - sometimes they went to kids clubs, mainly of their own accord, usually only on a couple of occasions motivated by wanting to make some holiday friends, although at one campsite they lived the holiday club workers and the activities so much they went back every day. The age gaps I have mean we've seldom had all 3 go to a holiday club, though sometimes eldest goes "to help" youngest and because she secretly still loves balloon animals and painting and crafts and games.

Other people's holiday choices often sound less appealing than staying at home on as wet week in February - I'd hate a hotel holiday with kids but would also hate a villa without any other kids for mine to play with - were used to an open house and gang of neighborhood kids at home and the kids are sociable, and some kind of hermetically sealed family unit on holiday would feel clostrophobic and like a recipe for the kids to start resenting being dragged on holiday as they get older. We do weekends away to a destination like that but on a 10 day holiday the kids want to play with other kids sometimes. Other people hate to have other people's kids about on holiday.

I'd hate to keep kids up too late on holiday and it suits us best to just stick to school holiday bedtimes (they do go to bed a bit later in the long holidays than term time) not keep them up late, but other people like to do otherwise. Nobody's way is "right" though - what one family enjoy on holiday would be worse than not going away at all for another family.

5more. Dd insists on staying up late to go to the entertainment. I have ME so dh takes her there and I go to bed. The enforced siestas were for her so she could cope with staying up and have a full on day. Dh and I also appreciate the break of course. But now she's a bit older it is easier. Although she needs constant watching in the water due to a medical condition so we can't relax on that score.

I've not read the whole post but I'd just like to say to OP that I do hope you decided to try the kids club. My oldest DS is now 19 and I still remember the trip when he was 18 months to a Brittany campsite bring heavily pregnant with DS2. No kids club obviously that would take that age but I remember how much we both would have appreciated a few hours break! And no I don't think it would have ruined his memories of the holiday! Enjoy your holiday

I HAVE read the whole post and I hope you decided to put your child's needs ahead of your own and just play with the poor kid on the beach instead of packing him off with strangers.