To think this woman who is a 'carer' should not have left her client.

[littlefrog3]

Me and DH went for a coffee the other day, and saw a woman from our neighbourhood (who is frankly quite annoying; the sort you walk a mile to avoid.) She works for an agency as a 'carer,' though personally I wouldn't leave a dog in her care.

So me and DH waved as we walked to the far end of the coffee shop, and sat down with our lattes for a chat. 2 minutes in, and this woman came toddling along towards us, and just started randomly talking to us 'how are you both? How's work? What are you doing here? Yada yada blah blah.'

All this time, the woman she was 'caring' for (a vulnerable woman with learning difficulties,) was sat on her own, right up the other end of the coffee shop, near to the exit. This woman had her back to the woman she is supposed to be caring for.

Me and DH said 'do you think you better go back to that lady you're caring for?' She said 'she'll be OK,' and carried on whittering. 5 minutes later she went back to her; but only after we said 'we need to go now.' We left sooner than we intended to did because she was ruining our coffee and chat together, and we felt uncomfortable with her leaving the woman she was meant to be 'caring' for. She could have run off or harmed herself or anything!

So did she do wrong? (Leaving the woman on her own.) And would you do anything about it? (eg report her?) She isn't the type you talk to about it, as she would kick off and slag you off to everyone, and if she WAS reported, (by someone else,) she would think it was us.

Your dp was so rude telling her she should get back to her client. You have no idea about the needs of that person, as demonstrated by your not understanding that mental illness and a learning disability are not the same thing. Some people need care/ companion without requiring "supervision" like a toddler. You don't like her, and you want to get her into trouble but you know it's wrong to do that so you've come on here presenting a biased view hoping people will tell you to report her so you can do it with a clear conscience.

Yabu

The rude and sarcastic responses on here have made me decide to report her

Sounds logical

If the carer needed to go to the toilet she would have had to leave the person alone.
When mine goes out with his carer,a part of the overall plan is to leave him for a short period and building it up to give him some independence.
I am also friends with a few caters. Some are also what is know as a befriender and no supervision needed. Then there's scenarios where someone needs a bit of support getting to and from a new job or educational facility.

YANBU. Plus her blasae (can't spell) attitude of she'll be okay. Is very concerning.
Not only that, but. IMO. Its the height of bloody rudeness to ask people personal questions. How's work ect.
Supposing one of you had lost your job, and didn't want the world and his wife to know.
She's paid to look after this lady not to chat shit gossip

if she WAS reported, (by someone else,) she would think it was us.

I wonder why?

YANBU. Plus her blasae (can't spell) attitude of she'll be okay. Is very concerning.

She's hardly going to say "my brief with this client is to allow them to sit independently for up to ten minutes to help with their independence" is she?

I bet OP is just the type who rings the DWP when her neighbour gets a new car, as they must be on the fiddle for something, right? Didn't pick up your dog's poo within 3.4 seconds, well that's environmental health for you then. Some people just enjoy dolling out their 'justice' to the rest of the world. They are normally people very frustrated with their own lives.

OP can kid herself that she's phoning to protect the 'vulnerable' like a veritable crusader for justice but actually she wants to get someone, she doesn't like, sacked. I bet the version she reports with have very little resemblance to the actual version. There will be '15 minutes she was chatting', 'the person in her care was looking around for her, clearly distressed', 'hot liquids within arms reach' etc etc.

But when she does get her sacked a whole world of benefits abuse reports will open up to her everyone needs to get their kicks somehow, right?

I would think the carer knew more about her client than you.

for being concerned about the needs of a mentally ill woman

Learning disabilities are not a mental illness.

Actually I am with MrsDV on that one.

These are very vulnerable adults and it's very good that there are people on the look out for them. They wouldnt be able to speak out for themselves so other people need to do it for them.
Besides, the career was paid to spend the time with that person, talking to her, interacting, ensuring she doesn't need any help (i don't know maybe she had drop some food on the floor, wants more tea whatever?) which the carter wouodntbhave been able to do if she had her back to her charge so why would it be OK for her to do something else instead?

And yes of course, it's impossible to know what sort of care the person cared for needed. But I suspect quite a lot as otherwise she would need a career like this??

This is not enough to judge her badly on.

However there are many crap carers about who totally ignore their clients and sit looking at their phones or trudge around loiking miserable.

I doubt the OP would have cared if the carer was someone she liked.

I tend to find people who are very angry, like you OP are the most unhappy.

Through work I've come across some pretty useless carers who seem more interested in doing what they want to do rather than doing what they're actually meant to be doing, she sounds like one of these yanbu

Yanbu to be annoyed at her disturbing your coffee.

Yabu to assume she left he client in danger.

Lots of carers come to our local cafe with the their clients. Some clearly need lots of supervision, some times the carers sit on their own table and the clients sit together on another. Presumably different levels of need?

Only once have I thought the carers were fucking useless. I was feeding newborn DD and had DS with me. A young man walked up and started shouting baby baby at me and then grabbed my boob whilst I was feeding . I wasn't pissef off at him but I tore a fucking shread off the carer who was on her phone

I don't know shit about people with mental health issues
Clearly! I'm willing to bet that this woman did not require 24/7 care, so being left alone for a few minutes would have been perfectly acceptable. She could well have even wanted some space. How do you think carers manage going to the toilet?

If that person were a dog you would have loads of hysterical posts stating that the animal was going to get stolen and fed to pitbulls
"Hysterical" being the appropriate word. Dogs don't tend to live independent lives capable of caring for themselves. The vast majority of people who are either mentally ill or have learning difficulties are perfectly capable of coping for a short time unsupervised.

This woman should NOT have left her imo.
When you have said that you know nothing about her needs or mental illness or learning difficulties, why should your opinion mean anything?

I will report her, because if she is doing nothing wrong then she has nothing to worry about does she

I'd be deeply unimpressed if my son were left by his carer for ten minutes while she chatted with her back turned to him.

No problem if she were chatting while watching him. I'd report if I knew the agency because either there is a plan where this is totally acceptable as part of developing independence or it's not acceptable.

so basically you know nothing about the woman she was caring for but have all the answers? You seem to think you are right and everyone else was wrong and the only rude person I see on here is you.

You don't even know what's wrong with this lady for starters you described her as having 'learning difficulties' then 'mentally ill' I think your being a bit nosey and up your own arse tbh none of your business what the carer or other lady were doing

I will report her, because if she is doing nothing wrong then she has nothing to worry about does she?

report her for what? Being in the same room as the woman she was caring for? Not sitting 2 inches from her staring intently into her face whilst she has her tea?
being reported I should imagine is horribly stressful, whether you have done soemthing wrong or not; and if you've not done anything wrong 9 which the career hasn't) it's just a very unpleasant thing to do?
Are you generally in the habit of causing relative strangers lots of stress and upset and trying to get them sacked or is it just this woman you don't like?