To think this woman who is a 'carer' should not have left her client.

[littlefrog3]

Me and DH went for a coffee the other day, and saw a woman from our neighbourhood (who is frankly quite annoying; the sort you walk a mile to avoid.) She works for an agency as a 'carer,' though personally I wouldn't leave a dog in her care.

So me and DH waved as we walked to the far end of the coffee shop, and sat down with our lattes for a chat. 2 minutes in, and this woman came toddling along towards us, and just started randomly talking to us 'how are you both? How's work? What are you doing here? Yada yada blah blah.'

All this time, the woman she was 'caring' for (a vulnerable woman with learning difficulties,) was sat on her own, right up the other end of the coffee shop, near to the exit. This woman had her back to the woman she is supposed to be caring for.

Me and DH said 'do you think you better go back to that lady you're caring for?' She said 'she'll be OK,' and carried on whittering. 5 minutes later she went back to her; but only after we said 'we need to go now.' We left sooner than we intended to did because she was ruining our coffee and chat together, and we felt uncomfortable with her leaving the woman she was meant to be 'caring' for. She could have run off or harmed herself or anything!

So did she do wrong? (Leaving the woman on her own.) And would you do anything about it? (eg report her?) She isn't the type you talk to about it, as she would kick off and slag you off to everyone, and if she WAS reported, (by someone else,) she would think it was us.

You sound a real joy.

Actually you come across as very vindictive. You clearly detest this woman so despite not really having a clue about her job and the scope of it, you want to try and get her sacked. Nice.

So maybe this woman is OK to be left for 5 minutes, and ignored by her carer, but what if the next person isn't OK and wanders off.

How do you know she would leave someone who wasn't safe to be left? You can't assume she would based on seeing her leave someone who didn't need to (or actively should be) left alone.

It feels like you're looking for a reason to report this woman. Your contempt for her is absolutely obvious from your posts.

I don't think you can justify reporting it. You don't know what the background is for the woman being cared for. She might need more independence! It comes across like you just want to report her because you don't like her.

some people are actually irritated with your constant presence.

Perhaps the person she is caring for wanted some peace and quiet! I know what you mean though. Mum had a carer who was a bit of a menace really. She mainly spent the time bragging of getting pissed and fighting. Not what the vulnerable elderly need to hear in my opinion.!

She was removed because she wasn't concentraing when trying to lift a patient (with a hoist). I then found out she was working elsewhere.

I don't know why so many people on MN are always scrabbling round for something to 'report' someone for.

My uncle has cancer and arthritis and a carer takes him to lunch once a week he does not need constant supervision, my DS2 on the other hand needs 2:1 at all times outside you have no way of knowing the persons need.

Op you have asked if you Abu about your thoughts about this carers actions and some posters have said you are and you don't like the responses yabu. My dd has learning difficulties and is more than happy and capable of being left alone in a coffee shop for 5 mins. If the cared for person had looked distressed or moved out of her chair you could have simple said to the career 'I think your client needs you'. You don't like this neighbour - fine- but please make sure you don't report her unless you truly feel her client was in danger

You don't like her and want to make trouble for her. At least be honest about it.

I'm willing to bet the thought of reporting her is giving you a little thrill, isn't it?

Thank you for being concerned OP
Our adult children are vulnerable. They also seem to be invisible, unless of course they are 'dangerous' or 'antisocial'

Carers are working. They should expect to be watched by the public. I wish they were bloody watched by the general public.

If that person were a dog you would have loads of hysterical posts stating that the animal was going to get stolen and fed to pitbulls

Express concern about a vulnerable adult and you are know nothing busybody

Well heres to busy bodies keeping their eye out for my DS.

The thing is, if she left this particular woman to go and chat to people at the other side of the restaurant, then how many OTHER times has she done it, when she is supposed to be caring for people? And whether the woman had learning difficulties or is mentally ill or both, who cares? This woman should NOT have left her imo.

A few people on this thread are not just saying I am being unreasonable, they are being fucking rude, and are more focused on slagging me off than actually giving constructive advice (the user crispbutty for example.) Probably because I have said something they don't like on another thread. Some people do hold grudges.

I will report her, because if she is doing nothing wrong then she has nothing to worry about does she?

People who are vulnerable need care and attention, not some 'carer' who bogs off to the other side of the restaurant to chat to random people. I am pretty shocked that some people think it's OK.

I am done here. I came for advice, not to be treated like a twat.

Good day to you all.

But you are a making assumptions for which you have no evidence. How would you know who to report her to anyway. She may work for an agency.

You don't like her and want to make trouble for her. At least be honest about it.

This

My DS will need a carer in a few years time he doesn't need a prison guard but help to be out and have experience of life which this lady was enabling for her client

Thanks Mr DV

Some people are so focussed on me being a 'busybody' and not liking this woman and saying I intend to report her BECAUSE I don't like her (which is not true!) that they are losing sight of the actual issue.

Like I said I am done on the thread. Bye.

There is only one person I can see being "fucking rude" on this thread and that isn't the people who responded to the OP.

"Carers are working."

Yes and lots of people who are working have chats unrelated to their work duties. It's not like this woman was neglecting her duties in the midst of danger. She had a five-minute chat in a cafe. I really think OP is being OTT, extrapolating this to mean this woman does it all the time with other clients. It's pure assumption and clearly all bound up with a personal dislike.

How incredibly perceptive of you to be able to tell, just from a visual snapshot, that this lady has a learning disability AND was mentally ill and also required constant eyesight and within arms length supervision. Bravo. Usually takes me weeks of extended formulation and holistic care planning to make a decision like that. Really proving that my nursing degree wasn't worth the paper it was written on .

I'm pretty sure I wasn't slagging you off dear. And don't flatter yourself that I have followed you from any other thread. I don't recall your name at all. I still think you come across as spiteful and vindictive.

Nothing in your posts makes me think you are genuinely worried about the safety of the person being cared for, just an excuse to report someone who you clearly do not like.

The rude and sarcastic responses on here have made me decide to report her. She obviously isn't doing her job properly.

Totally illogical!

You are getting a hard time OP. Fwiw I think you are right to be concerned. Yes, you don't know if she needs constant supervision but you also don't know she doesn't.

I have worked in care and the lack of 'care' from some carers was shocking.

We have clients with learning difficulties who work where I work. Some of them have carers that you see them out with.

They are more than capable to being on their own. Some of them even get the train into work on their own. Sometimes the carers will be deliberately leaving them to get on while keeping an eye open to encourage them to be independent. They are proud to be independent and that they can manage what they're doing.

And you don't know whether she was in a caring capacity at the time or she had taken a friend's daughter out as a favour or something.

I will report her, because if she is doing nothing wrong then she has nothing to worry about does she?

I'm not sure what the point if this thread was because you'd clearly made up your mind before you started it.

I'd recommend trying to be more neutral than you have been here or no one will take any reporting seriously.