Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH following me to bed.

76 replies

acornsandnuts · 22/02/2017 22:30

I probably am BU but it just irritates me daily. I can be really tired and at 9.30 will say I'm off to bed, DH "yep me too". Or it can be 11.30 and he will sit until I say I'm going to bed then say "yep me too". Same goes for 10, 11 or what ever o'clock it is.

Why can't he own his own bed time.

I would love 20 mins in bed alone or half an hour downstairs alone but it never fecking happens because he's THERE!

OP posts:
Moanyoldcow · 22/02/2017 22:31

Er... have you told him you want some time alone?

Whisky2014 · 22/02/2017 22:31

Oh dear i did this to my partner tonight! Although usually its me that goes to bed earlier, tonight he said he was off and i said i was coming too. Just cause i didnt want to be alone :(

Graceflorrick · 22/02/2017 22:31

My DH and I go to bed at the same time, we'll wait until the other one is ready. Surely it isn't a bad thing Grin

OnHold · 22/02/2017 22:32

Don't tell him. Just disappear.

NapQueen · 22/02/2017 22:32

Just say "right im off for a bath" and go to bed instead?

isupposeitsverynice · 22/02/2017 22:33

Sorry OP I did laugh when I read your post. Just tell him. Or have a bath instead, baths are lovely alone time with the added bonus of a locked door Grin

PatriciaHolm · 22/02/2017 22:34

Does he actually know this, or are you expecting him to mind read?

Whisky2014 · 22/02/2017 22:34

Don't tell him. Just disappear that's what i usually do but my partner said he hates it when i dont say goodnight! Suppose he doesnt care if i go on my own just that he wants me to be polite

Longdistance · 22/02/2017 22:35

I second don't tell him and just disappear in a cloud of smoke...

Champagneformyrealfriends · 22/02/2017 22:35

My DH does this Grin it is very annoying I must admit, and our house is too small for me to go into another room for a bit of quiet time.

Catbot · 22/02/2017 22:37

Mine does this too. Even if he says he's going to carry on watching something he's up within five minutes. Manchild.

Original poster
acornsandnuts · 22/02/2017 22:39

I have disappeared on occasion and he will come up bewildered as to where I've gone.

I think what is getting to me is that it's a habit that he just can't regulate his own sleep. Just fecking go to bed when YOU'RE tired.

I've just mentioned to him it irks me and he's gone off in a huff with a duvet.

OP posts:
SabineUndine · 22/02/2017 22:41

Hide under the bed and grab his ankles. I would

DJKKSlider · 22/02/2017 22:41

My gf has to go to bed early a lot of nights so I end up watcing TV till silly o'clock all on my own.
I miss going to bed with her when she's not there. Sad

BuggersMuddle · 22/02/2017 22:42

Well I see your point if it's all the time, but then you get other threads where people complain that partners choose to keep very different sleep schedules, make a racket and want sex at times that don't work for the other. So, YANBU, but I would prefer (where practicable, obviously) similar sleeping patterns rather than radically different ones.

Waterlemon · 22/02/2017 22:43

Is it a "man" thing?

I sort of have the reverse problem! DH goes up to bed first, then gets the hump because I dont follow him!

DizzyFizzyLizzy · 22/02/2017 22:44

Don't you people actually like your husbands? Hmm I understand that's frowned upon on MN sometimes but I can't find it in me to be irritated because my husband decides to come to bed with me.

In fact, more irritating is when he comes up later and wakes me up.

Lazyafternoon · 22/02/2017 22:45

My DH doesn't get subtle hints. So I just tell him. I guess, poor bloke, half the time im hoping he'll come too for an 'early night' other half I actually do want an early night or to watch call the midwife in peace or look at MN/ FB etc. for a bit without being questioned what I'm giggling at!

So at 9pm if I do actually want a but of peace might say 'right I'm off upstairs to watch crap TV for an hour in my PJs with my Decaf tea, might call my sister too. See you later' then give him a quick kiss and off I go. Chanel changes to some sort of football or murder program as I walk out the door. All happy!

Mrsglitterfairy · 22/02/2017 22:46

Me & DH go to bed together pretty much every night. If one of us is ready to go up, the other usually goes too and watches tv in bed or whatever. I would hate to go to bed alone most nights

Original poster
acornsandnuts · 22/02/2017 22:48

But it's every night.

I think to have a nice sleeping pattern with your partner is lovely but on occasion if something is gripping you on tv or you are especially tired surely you just make an adult decision and amend your bedtime. Looking t the other adult in the room for this is just bloody silly.

Hide under the bed and grab his ankles. I would proper laughed at this. I'm planning my Saturday night around this.

OP posts:
MeNeedSleep · 22/02/2017 22:48

Dh & I go to bed at same time, we're both guilty of following the other.

I do often go amd sit in the bedroom for some peace though, leaving him & dc in the lounge bit he comes to find me and asks why I'm not in the lounge with rest of family! Like I need to spend time with them all the time! Really annoys me as he doesn't get why I want alone time!

Keeptrudging · 22/02/2017 22:49

DH always goes to bed first, I faff about/read Mumsnet for 10-15 mins then go up. I've got to be last to bed (unless I'm ill), I like to know the door's locked/lights are off.

newbie789 · 22/02/2017 22:49

I had to check I didn't write this!!!
Dh does the same, I say I'm going to bed, he gets to the bathroom before me and then gets in bed before me, so annoying

MeNeedSleep · 22/02/2017 22:51

Usually I want the alone time to mess about on internet without constantly being nagged for my phone from dd and being constantly asked what I'm doing by dh!

FatOldBag · 22/02/2017 22:52

Aw I think that's really nice, he wants to be with you. You can cuddle in bed. It's nice, I don't get what's annoying.

Swipe left for the next trending thread