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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be pissed off at dh

115 replies

hmmmInteresting · 22/02/2017 20:42

I never ask dh to do any housework whatsoever, or any cooking. I'm a sahm so I just figured I did all these things as he works and earns all the money. Tonight I asked him if he'd do the washing up while I took kids to bed, he said ok. So I got the kids drinks and said "do you mind doing the washing up then" and I get "yeah just stop going on at me". I just knew he was funny about it.

I've took the kids to bed and read them stories and he's still not done it. Sat there on his phone.Angry

OP posts:
supersop60 · 22/02/2017 21:38

I agree with PP.
Do not do the washing up. Leave it for him to finish.
Do not pick up his dirty clothes.
If he lived on his own he'd have to do all these things.
I'll repeat the above comment if he doesn't work 24/7, then neither should you

TattyCat · 22/02/2017 21:38

OP, go drop them in his bath and ask if he thought they needed a soak

My DP would die laughing if I did that! Funny Grin ... It would certainly neutralise any negative atmosphere.

Original poster
hmmmInteresting · 22/02/2017 21:40

If I confront him about anything he'll get defensive and just will barely talk, normally will just go to bed. Then it will carry on to the next day, he'll go to work and won't text me all day and obviously be waiting for me to text him to almost apologise as such. He says I can never be wrong but it's the other way around Hmm. Or will threaten out move to his mates any time we have an argument.

I don't think I can be arsed with this shit for the rest of my life I'm only 23!

OP posts:
Original poster
hmmmInteresting · 22/02/2017 21:41

Tattycat lol he would go mad if I did that, I'm glad you have a partner that would find it funny!

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 22/02/2017 21:49

If I confront him about anything he'll get defensive and just will barely talk, normally will just go to bed. Then it will carry on to the next day, he'll go to work and won't text me all day and obviously be waiting for me to text him to almost apologise as such. He says I can never be wrong but it's the other way around hmm. Or will threaten out move to his mates any time we have an argument.

Absolutely none of this surprises me.

I don't think I can be arsed with this shit for the rest of my life I'm only 23!

Wait...what? You're living like this and you're - twenty fucking three?

Sweetheart, the only time you should be considering a life of drudgery married to this disrespectful sexist twat is if you are 95, doing the dusting with your chin hairs and every single other man and chimpanzee in the world is dead.

23! Dear God. Fuck him right off, go to a club and get pissed for fuck's sake.

TattyCat · 22/02/2017 21:52

Or will threaten out move to his mates any time we have an argument.

Massive, massive immaturity right there. He's a father! He can't behave like a 12 year old having a tantrum.

haveacupoftea · 22/02/2017 21:53

YANBU. He's a lazy cock.

GarrulousGrimoire · 22/02/2017 21:55

Leave him and leave it. ONLY when he gets into bed do you say "no you need to go to the washing up like you promised. ALL of it".

Do not cave to moodiness or threats, if he says he'll move out tell him to jog the fuck on then, less plates and washing.

Original poster
hmmmInteresting · 22/02/2017 22:56

That made me laugh Grinyorick, true though. Absolute man child. I think he threatens to leave because he thinks that I need him, I rely on him financially and my life pretty much revolves around him and our dc.

Do not cave to moodiness or threats, if he says he'll move out tell him to jog the fuck on then, less plates and washing. So true, thanksWine

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 22/02/2017 23:04

www.entitledto.co.uk

You might find that you are not as dependent on him as you think and that letting him fuck to his mates wouldnt have you on the bread line.

thisagain · 22/02/2017 23:16

He sounds like my brother in law. My sister to ever disagree with him because he stops talking to her and even stops eating! He's 50!

Original poster
hmmmInteresting · 22/02/2017 23:18

Pyongyang I'll take a look at that now thank you.

Really? How strange, thisagain, the one time we hard words he wouldn't even eat my cooking Hmm

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 23/02/2017 07:30

Good. Have more words and let him starve. Make sure you make pan seared venison on the day you have words.

Fishface77 · 23/02/2017 08:46

Fuck That Shit! Get out now!

GarrulousGrimoire · 23/02/2017 08:53

Well did he do the dishes?

You are 23, honestly you can do better.

NavyandWhite · 23/02/2017 08:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Penfold007 · 23/02/2017 08:59

OP he's abusive, you really need to get away from him but it can be hard. Have a look at www.freedomprogramme.co.uk and entitled2 as mentioned earlier. You deserve better.

Imnotaslimjim · 23/02/2017 09:02

I don't often post on the threads because you only ever get one side of the story. But I'm joining in to say either retrain him or kick him out. You've allowed him to be like this but it can change, it just takes time and a lot of courage. If he doesn't want to change, get him out. You can't spend the rest of your life looking after a manchild

PoorYorick · 23/02/2017 09:03

23, for fuck's sake. When I was your age, Pluto was a planet. It actually makes me ill to think of a lovely young girl with her entire life ahead of her reduced to picking up after a scuzzbag man who drops his dirty kegs on the floor wherever he fancies.

usernoidea · 23/02/2017 09:06

God you can do so much better
All the more reason to get out of this if you're only 23. He sounds like a right dick

pinkyredrose · 23/02/2017 09:07

How did you get to the stage where he does fuck all in the house, was he like this before DC? He sounds like an immature disrespectful wanker tbh.

BitOutOfPractice · 23/02/2017 09:08

You're 23?! Fuck all this for a game of soldiers OP.

BitOutOfPractice · 23/02/2017 09:09

23, for fuck's sake. When I was your age, Pluto was a planet.

Oh that made me smile Yorrick Grin

AnnieAnoniMouse · 23/02/2017 09:13

Please tell me you've made this up to wind us up!?

If not, did he do the dishes last night? If not, pack him a bag. Confront him about the dishes & when he kicks of about going to a mates hand him the bag & tell him you knew that would be his manchild response & to fuck off. If he refuses to go, stop cooking for him, stop washing for him, stop doing anything for him. Do not talk to hIm, act as if he's not there.

You are 23 TWENTY BLOODY THREE - unless you want this fir the next 70 years get it sorted. I was a couple of years older than you when I split up with my (first) long term partner & I felt old, I felt too old to start again. I was worried about my life not going to plan etc. Fuck me. I wish I'd had MN to put me straight then! It might not feel like it, but 23 is SO young, you are NOT reliant on him, so get on with you life. You can try to reform him, but frankly, I think a bloke who is happy to treat you like crap, will always be a bloke who is happy to treat you like crap & I wouldn't waste my time. Now that is, ow I'm older & wiser, at your age without MN I would have tried, tried again & tried some more. Learn from my/our experiences.

diddl · 23/02/2017 09:19

Now I tend to do everything as I don't go out to work.

But people up after lazy arses?

Oh no!

My husband cooks at the weekend though to give me a break from it.

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