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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think charity shops aren't playgroups?

107 replies

user1477282676 · 21/02/2017 10:18

Well...not THAT exactly but tell me this...why do people think it's ok to allow their small pre-school children to pull out all of the toys on sale in charity shops and to then play with them in the aisle?

I can't stand to see this! The toys are on sale and these DC are there banging them and playing roughly with them...making a ton of noise, mess and getting in the way.

Is it normal to see this? Or just where I live? Their parents are always happily browsing around whilst the kids make a God awful mess.

Just because the toys are second hand does not mean they're a free for all...yet people treat them like the toys in the doctor's waiting room!

OP posts:
EggsEleven · 21/02/2017 10:19

I've never seen this in my area tbh. Where do you live?

WorraLiberty · 21/02/2017 10:20

I've never seen it.

But the staff are obviously happy to let them crack on, so I couldn't be bothered about it.

SundialShadow · 21/02/2017 10:22

Kids enjoying themselves? Sounds like hell.

Based on your harrowing account of what these uncaged wild animals might do, I recommend you take all steps necessary to avoid these shops in future.

Stay strong sister BearFootball

Original poster
user1477282676 · 21/02/2017 10:23

Really? Why is it ok for them to sit on the aisle, blocking it and smashing the toys around?

The shop assistants today weren';t that happy about it but they're elderly women and it was all they could do to keep picking things up...they had their serious cross faces on but were probably too polite to say anything.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 21/02/2017 10:26

In that case the shop assistants would really benefit from some extra staff training.

I mean if they weren't actually happy to let them continue.

I agree they shouldn't be doing it if it's blocking the aisle, damaging stock or if the shop assistants don't want to them to.

But perhaps the parents are getting mixed messages?

Somerville · 21/02/2017 10:27

I only saw really rough play very occasionally when I was volunteering in a charity shop. Loads of kids have a bit of a play, but that enables their parent to browse and since they were our biggest customer that was perfect.

The kids who were especially rough and messy were a small percentage, as I said, and didn't tend to stay too long. Not really a problem.

Somerville · 21/02/2017 10:27

And if a child broke something they were playing with, the parent would pay for it, 9 times out of 10.

ghostspirit · 21/02/2017 10:34

Can't judge what you saw really ask was not there. Charity shop where I am does not have aisle. But children do play with the toys to one side. They then put them back before they leave. That's just what I have seen. there probably are children/ parents that dont put them back. And do play roughly. I think it's OK to play with the toys if they are played with nicely and put back. There is not much you can do about other people behaviour/parenting. I'm sure most people would not be that way though.

ArchNotImpudent · 21/02/2017 10:34

If they're impeding other shoppers, YANBU.

Perhaps if parents with young children make up a significant proportion of regular browsers, the shop should think about setting up a 'childrens corner' where they could safely play out of the way of others, using designated (hard wearing!) toys.

likewhatevs · 21/02/2017 10:36

I've never seen it tbh.

paddypants13 · 21/02/2017 10:39

I've never seen this. I once had to buy a pram and two dolls from a charity shop though because dd was trying to shop lift them and had a massive wobbler when I tried to put them back. Little madam. Grin

helpmebuystuff · 21/02/2017 10:40

I'm in charity shops all the time and I've never seen this happen

foodtime · 21/02/2017 10:45

I have seen it OP.

Sadly a lot of parents let their children do anything they like.

Also It's not the shop Assistance job to parent your child. Most of the staff at charity shops are volunteers, they shouldn't have to ask.

SundialShadow · 21/02/2017 10:45

Why is it ok for them to sit on the aisle, blocking it and smashing the toys around?

Oh the torture! The little beasts actually dare to SIT DOWN?!? It sounds actually worse than famine and war combined where you shop.

If only there was something you could do like walk around the obstructed area. If only there was something the parents could do like buy the toys (most do)

What a shame that the little old ladies in these shops are at once struck dumb AND putting broken smashed toys back in the toybox. I weep for them.

Natsku · 21/02/2017 10:47

Used to work in a charity shop - I encouraged the children to play with the toys (they were in one corner though, not in an aisle) so that their parents could browse in peace. If I wasn't busy I would play with them.

A lot of second hand shops (not just charity but flea markets too) where I live have children's areas with a few hard wearing toys and a table and chairs with paper and crayons to colour and draw.

Original poster
user1477282676 · 21/02/2017 10:50

Sundial well you can't walk around if you want to look at something on the shelf opposite the toy shelf! The kids are in the bloody way!

OP posts:
Birdsgottaf1y · 21/02/2017 10:50

My Mum used to allow my children to do this, they loved a day out to the charity shops, there were four in the shopping centre.

She used to buy stuff from there and most of the toys were taken back a few of weeks later. The whole family gave to the same shops and whenever the anyone died we'd do donations only (no flowers). We still give to two in lieu, of my Mums/Nans present on Birthdays/Xmas/Mothers day.

Many shops like the community feel and links, it does a lot for the charity.

WorraLiberty · 21/02/2017 10:56

Also It's not the shop Assistance job to parent your child. Most of the staff at charity shops are volunteers, they shouldn't have to ask

No, but it's their job to make sure customers/children don't block the aisles or bang the stock roughly.

The parents are responsible for their children, but the shop assistants are responsible for the shop/stock.

Therefore if parents aren't stopping their children from doing this, the shop assistants must.

Otherwise Toys R Us, Smyths and The Entertainer would have gone out of business long ago.

They'd just be free playgroups Grin

SundialShadow · 21/02/2017 10:56

Sundial well you can't walk around if you want to look at something on the shelf opposite the toy shelf! The kids are in the bloody way!

Say it is not so!

These small playing happy creatures of Faustain nightmares also stop your eyes from seeing and render your tongue too dumb to utter those small words that would save you - "excuse me"

You need to call in the UN and end this inhumanity now.

WorraLiberty · 21/02/2017 10:58

Sundial well you can't walk around if you want to look at something on the shelf opposite the toy shelf! The kids are in the bloody way!

How do you manage in a supermarket when other shoppers are in your way?

You say, "Excuse me please" I would imagine?

Scaredycat3000 · 21/02/2017 11:03

I don't think this is specific to charity shops. Shit parenting is shit parenting. Considerate parenting, which certainly can include looking/playing with toys in public with consideration for others, is considerate parenting. You don't allow your toddler to race down the street on their scooter nearly knocking people over, you don't allow your child to rip open toy boxes in a toy shop, or bite a chunk out of 30 cucumbers in Sainsbury's and you don't allow your child to take over a charity shop and leave the toys everywhere.

randomer · 21/02/2017 11:03

ah the crazed world of the charity shop....if you have a spare 10 minutes observe the politics of what you wrongly assumed was a benign and furry place designed to help the needy.

Original poster
user1477282676 · 21/02/2017 11:03

Of course I can ask them to move but there are also toys on the floor and I have quite a heavy limp...I don't see why I should be put into a position where I might bloody fall over due to them having crap all over the floor!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 21/02/2017 11:06

.I don't see why I should be put into a position where I might bloody fall over due to them having crap all over the floor!

Nor me. Which is exactly why the staff need to buck their ideas up.

Just to reiterate, yes the kids are their parent's responsibility, but the staff are responsible for the shop and the stock.

Not to mention the safety of other customers.

sabzii · 21/02/2017 11:07

It's up to the staff. Maybe they like seeing children playing and think it encourages more customers. If they sell a lot of baby/toddler stuff they'll want to attract mums.

I don't think it's rude for the children to play and spread out the toys. Many toy shops have play areas with toys out so kids can try things.