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Original poster

My partner stripped for others

114 replies

pinkrosebuds69 · 20/02/2017 19:02

How would you take this ?

After a pub night out a group of us went back to a friends ( including a couple of people neither me or my partner had met before )

I went to bed almost immediately as I had a long drive on Sunday .

My dp instigated a " fun" stripping session with some of the girls with some " funny" whipping and spanking . She drew the line when it got a bit sexual and came to bed .

I am really upset . If I had walked down in the middle of it I would have been horrified and not known if the line would be drawn .
( two of the girls have form for this and things to be sexual with others )

What do you think ? Is this ok?

My dp feels bad . But should I take action ?

OP posts:
Maudlinmaud · 20/02/2017 19:51

Naked? Frig that. I'd be out the door.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 20/02/2017 19:51

She go to full on naked?! Around other fully naked men and women?! How are you so calm? I'd have gone fucking nuclear.
This isn't just some ridiculous dare or something equally childish, it's just weird!! She's making a fool of you imo.

Writerwannabe83 · 20/02/2017 19:51

Why is it worse because there were men there? Your partner is obviously attracted to females so surely the fact there were naked females there was what should "make it worse" ?

I'm also intrigued as to what specifically happened to "turn it sexual" considering they were already naked and dancing and touching...

Original poster
pinkrosebuds69 · 20/02/2017 19:51

I think her opinion is that she made a mistake and she sobered up and realised and stopped

That's her take on it.

She doesn't think it's ok at all but it wasn't cheating so isn't that bad

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 20/02/2017 19:52

OP - you say two of them were half naked (in pants). Most people straight or not be would be ending any length relationship over this yet alone a five year one.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 20/02/2017 19:52

Well she would say it 'isn't that bad' wouldn't she? That isn't up to her tho.

RedAndYellowStripe · 20/02/2017 19:52

I don't see the issue with the men TBH unless the OP's partner is bisexual herself.
I would have issues with the women.

NoCapes · 20/02/2017 19:52

Oh and to answer the original question
how would you take this?
I would take it as my partner cheated on me in a very public way in front of various people that we know
I would be humiliated and never forgive them
That's how I'd take it

Bluntness100 · 20/02/2017 19:52

I'd have an issue with that too, complete nudity is something else and doesn't sound so innocent to me. Underwear in I could have written off. I don't think I'd end s relationship over it, but it would be significant for me.

omnishamblesssssssssssssss · 20/02/2017 19:53

I understand she's regretful. Will it happen again? Can you trust her normally? Has she broken your trust?

For me it depends. If it was just a piss take, a bit of meaningless drunken daftness on the back of stressfully loosing a good friend. AND she left once things got Inappropriate, that's more forgivable.

If it was an intentionally enticing/erotic performance, which was meant to lead somewhere sexually, our relationship would be over.

NoCapes · 20/02/2017 19:53

I disagree OP - I think that is cheating

SuperFlyHigh · 20/02/2017 19:53

Pink I think you're being way too soft on your DP, to even be semi naked or in that position or situation with others "is" sexual in my book. Whether she chooses to let herself off the hook by saying it's not is her look out.

What she be ok if you did this??!!

SuperFlyHigh · 20/02/2017 19:54

Would not what.

Original poster
pinkrosebuds69 · 20/02/2017 19:55

Shambles I think you have it.
She knows she crossed a line. The other girls involved just think it was hilarious stupidly apparently they do it all the time Confused but they are single and quite "wild "

I just feel betrayed and a bit foolish

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 20/02/2017 19:55

OP - this is in no way normal or acceptable in a relationship. No committed partner starts stripping off and indulging in sexual activities with a group of other people when their partner's back is turned. The whole thing is ridiculous and she is making a complete fool of you. If you stay with her this will probably soon just be the tip of the iceberg as to what activities she gets up to. How on any level can you be OK with this??

RedAndYellowStripe · 20/02/2017 19:56

OP please be careful as to not make anyone ideas on this thread yours.
You need to know what are YOUR boundaries, not what others think is ok or not.
So what are they? Is being naked in front of others a NO-No for you or can it be acceptable in some circumstances? Would you be happy to forgive on the grounds it has been a great relatuinhsip for 5 years as long as it never happens again? (A mistake is only a mistake when it isn't repeated btw)

And then what are your DO boundaries? Would she for sample be happy to for to be naked in front of people that might fancy you?

I actually don't think that she just sobered up. I think something happened that made her sober up but she is willing to tell you because she knows this will upset you even more.

mainlywingingit · 20/02/2017 19:56

I think you are being a bit over the top. She was letting her hair down - probably pretending for a split second she has no responsibility like the others- thought it was fun- went to bed when it was apparent it was getting sexual and regrets it and has
Probably learnt a lesson.

You said you don't go out much -
Maybe you need to inject a bit more fun in your lives - she probably had a spontaneous moment (rarely happens with kids) and got silly.

Tell her it can't happen again, draw a line under it and move on.

Maybe she needs a bit more fun in her life OP and misjudged it. We have all
Misjudged things drunk. If she's great otherwise and your gut is this is not her normal behaviour then forgive and forget.

I think people are Overreacting . Live a bit people!

Bluntness100 · 20/02/2017 19:57

I don't think it's cheating, but it would be significant for me not just because she was naked and she instigated it but because it's sleazy and i would be unsure if I wished to be in a relationship who was that sleazy.

daisychain01 · 20/02/2017 19:57

Why don't people report and stop troll-hunting if they don't like the OPs posting style.

Pinkrose do you feel your DP cross the line? Do you think it was a one-off (she just got carried away and acted stupidly), or does she make a habit of being a bit of an exhibitionist.

Depending on your answers, to the above, it will probably tell you whether she is someone you can rely on or if this is the start of bigger problems. I personally wouldn't tolerate it, but your boundaries may be different.

RedAndYellowStripe · 20/02/2017 19:58

She knows she crossed a line. The other girls involved just think it was hilarious stupidly apparently they do it all the time but they are single and quite "wild "

Actually I have seen that happening in my 'youth'. And yes people would put that as a bit of fun and wouldn't think anything of it.

It doesn't mean that you should accept it though. More that it is totally possible it does NOT mean anything else at all to them.

SuperFlyHigh · 20/02/2017 19:59

Pink I know gay and bi friends who have partners. A few of them who are single are "wild" as you put it.

However the ones who are "wild" tend to be watched fairly closely around the ones who have partners, if/when they socialise together. Any dodgy behaviour would mean a serious row and friendships knocked on the head but a lot of couples I know have mutual respect. I think your DP has a tendency to be wild or be easily led, do you really want to have to watch out for this again, especially if you have a child with her?

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 20/02/2017 20:00

don't know whether I should question our five year relationship over it

It would make me have a serious conversation about our boundaries, ideas of what constitutes flirting, our values, to find out if they are compatible.

Is she ready to have a child? It just sounds like something students would get up to, not soon to be parents!

Are you male or female?

Butterymuffin · 20/02/2017 20:01

You've said the other women have form for this, but you've also said it was your DP who instigated it this time. Did she really, and what has she said about why she did it? Has she done anything that's upset you in a big way or been disrespectful to your relationship before?

SuperFlyHigh · 20/02/2017 20:01

I'd read Writer and RedandYellow posts very carefully again if I were you OP.

troodiedoo · 20/02/2017 20:01

I have actually done this when I've been really drunk, had alcohol issues many years ago. Me and friend thought it would be hilarious to whip each other. My husband at the time was understandably not impressed when I came home with red stripes all over my bum and didn't believe me when I said it wasn't sexual just a laugh.

You're right to be annoyed but if it's a one off drunken stupid incident and your relationship is otherwise good and she is apologetic, I'd say you can move on from it.

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