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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think friends are being over-senstive?

999 replies

pomadas87 · 20/02/2017 18:51

A friend (who lives abroad) messaged me and a couple of our good mutual friends - he shared happy news of his new baby and some pics. Everyone v excited and wished him congratulations!

He then said "so who's next to have a baby - she needs a playmate!" ... me and DH are newly married and are getting the question quite a lot...! Other friend said "I'm looking at you guys" (meaning me and DH)...

I then said "not for a while I'm afraid Grin why don't you have another one straightaway and you'll have Irish Twins - instant playmate!"

Meant it in a joking way and then they all called me a racist, xenophobe etc.... I didn't realise it was offensive and now I'm feeling shitty! Did they overreact to my (stupid) joke or am I just an idiot?! Confused

OP posts:
TheWinterOfOurDiscountTents · 24/02/2017 14:48

Oh dear.

OMGyoumustbekidding · 24/02/2017 14:50

Collectively blaming all english people.

Brexit? Nice example, used frequently by the scottish government to drum up I'll feeling against "the english as a people"

Floggingmolly · 24/02/2017 14:52

"A people" is the plural form of a body of people considered as a whole; such as a nation or ethnic group.
Just FYI, OMG...

TheWinterOfOurDiscountTents · 24/02/2017 14:53

Brexit is an excellent example, but I'm guessing you are one of those people who neither know nor care what Brexit will mean for Ireland?

Aw, poor English people. So historically downtrodden, always the underdog....wait no, it's the opposite. Hmm

OMGyoumustbekidding · 24/02/2017 14:53

Yes it is racist

TheWinterOfOurDiscountTents · 24/02/2017 14:54

I've heard it all now! English people complaining of racism against themselves, from the mean Irish and Scots. It would be hilarious if it wasn't so pathetic.

InfinityPlusOne · 24/02/2017 15:03

A huge % of the British population didn't vote for Brexit. I also think, even if it has negative impacts on Ireland, UK citizens are entitled to vote in the interest of their country, as they see it.

FeralFanjoFauna · 24/02/2017 15:08

Of course they are. They aren't immune to being informed of the issues they are causing others, and they aren't immune to criticism about it either.

InfinityPlusOne · 24/02/2017 15:10

Not at all Feral. I simply think it's massive over reach to say that Brexit is another example of the British treating the Irish badly. Maybe they didn't consider the impact of Brexit on Ireland but, in my view, they shouldn't have had to, if they are making a decision about the future of their own country.

FeralFanjoFauna · 24/02/2017 15:16

If its only about their own country, why didn't they think of the impact on Northern Ireland as well then? Which is part of their own country.

The way Brexit is being handled is definitely an example of the British treating Ireland and Northern Ireland badly. It could have been done in a respectful and neighbourly way, but that isn't what is happening. Your nearest neighbour and supposed ally and trading partner is being treated very badly indeed.

InfinityPlusOne · 24/02/2017 15:19

I agree the handling of the aftermath is poor and shows a lack of interest/concern about the relationship but that wasn't the point originally made which was about the fact that British people voted for Brexit without considering the impact on Ireland.

InfinityPlusOne · 24/02/2017 15:21

I'm Irish by the way Feral, I could be wrong but your post reads like it assumes I'm British.

DianaMemorialJam · 24/02/2017 15:22

i think it's safe to say that, as an example, ALL Irish people don't blame ALL English people for brexit, because it would be ridiculous. However, it is a good point made as far as consideration for other nations and how our collective behaviour affects others is concerned.

FeralFanjoFauna · 24/02/2017 15:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DianaMemorialJam · 24/02/2017 15:29

Feral was that aimed at me?

DairyMilk666 · 24/02/2017 15:30

Oh for goodness sake!

My understanding of something being offensive is if it was said with the intention of upsetting the other person!! How can ANYONE be offended by someone saying something that had no offensive intent?! I don't get it, I really don't. It's like some other 'unmentionable' words that were initially coined without any offensive intent. Such as a now hated term to describe a certain ethnic minority. Which stems from the first 4 letters of the country they or their ancestors originated....if you catch my drift? No different to calling us 'Brits' but unfortunately, it's now such a hated term that we all recoil in horror (me included) if it's ever heard. And would never ever dream of using! But it was ORIGINALLY never intended to be used in a derogatory way...

(FWIW, I am the LEAST fascist/racist person you'll ever meet!)

FeralFanjoFauna · 24/02/2017 15:30

No that was at infinity, we x posted.

FeralFanjoFauna · 24/02/2017 15:32

My understanding of something being offensive is if it was said with the intention of upsetting the other person!

You know well that isn't the case.

As for the rest of the post....sheesh. Not going there!

BillSykesDog · 24/02/2017 15:33

Most of the sins committed against the Irish and around the rest of the world were committed in the interests of a tiny ruling class who profited from it.

Most English people were being oppressed and exploited by the same people working in their factories, estates, houses and mills in terrible conditions.

InfinityPlusOne · 24/02/2017 15:35

Yes terrible terrible things were done to Ireland and yes that has had impacts that are still felt today and nasty attitudes still prevail on both sides but I don't assume that every British person I meet views me in a negative light because I am Irish and I don't approach every British person in that way either.

Before people shout me down that I am glossing over what happened, I most certainly am not but none of that was done to me personally and I refuse to carry around a negative set of assumptions about all British people now based on our terrible shared history.

And no I don't think the Brexit vote was yet another example of the horrible attitude British people have towards Irish people. A huge number voted against it for starters and so what if those that voted for it didn't consider us. Maybe some did and it didn't outweigh their other concerns. Even if they didn't that's entirely their right when considering the future of their own country.

InfinityPlusOne · 24/02/2017 15:36

Stop saying 'you did your own thing' and similar. How many times do I have to say it. I am Irish.

FeralFanjoFauna · 24/02/2017 15:39

but I don't assume that every British person I meet views me in a negative light because I am Irish and I don't approach every British person in that way either

Neither do the rest of us. We're only talking here about the kind of eejits on this thread who are claiming their rights to say whatever they want, and the even bigger eejits claiming that its the English that are the victims of bullies because people won't get over the past!

InfinityPlusOne · 24/02/2017 15:46

I would be of the view that claiming that the Brexit vote is an example of the poor attitude towards the Irish as an overreach comparable to claiming the English are the victims now.

InfinityPlusOne · 24/02/2017 15:47

*is an

OMGyoumustbekidding · 24/02/2017 15:47

"I've heard it all now! English people complaining of racism against themselves, from the mean Irish and Scots. It would be hilarious if it wasn't so pathetic."

I am not "english" as I have stated many times, but l love england as much as I do scotland and will make no apology for that.

You are being racist and your argumens are aimed directly at anyone who identifies as English. You are blaming all ills on the english including me. You are accusing me of brexit and insinuating that I do not care about the implications for ireland (which couldn't be further from the truth). Wales also voted for brexit which was a more or les 50/50 split Even in scotland nearly 40% voted for it.

You are then said that if english people complain about it they are "pathetic"

I would suggest it is not me with the problem.