To think friends are being over-senstive?

[pomadas87]

A friend (who lives abroad) messaged me and a couple of our good mutual friends - he shared happy news of his new baby and some pics. Everyone v excited and wished him congratulations!

He then said "so who's next to have a baby - she needs a playmate!" ... me and DH are newly married and are getting the question quite a lot...! Other friend said "I'm looking at you guys" (meaning me and DH)...

I then said "not for a while I'm afraid why don't you have another one straightaway and you'll have Irish Twins - instant playmate!"

Meant it in a joking way and then they all called me a racist, xenophobe etc.... I didn't realise it was offensive and now I'm feeling shitty! Did they overreact to my (stupid) joke or am I just an idiot?!

Yep and....

Can you say "cor blimey!!!" Or "Rodney you plonka"

Take the piss OMG thats fine. But there is alot of history of English oppression of the Irish and it can go quite deep. It doesn't cut the other way and is not comparable to "Essex girls" or cockney or similar. Deny it if you want thats fine but thats the backdrop like it or not.

Never have denied it. Read my previous posts.

I don't mind that much people saying about Essex girls that much or glesga kiss. Doesn't bother me at all. Those types of taking the piss are annoying but do not tend to be rooted in evil. I tend to think people like my accent and think it is awesome when they do this actually

And although I do not do it to others. I can see how it is tempting, when you meet someone who to me sounds "just like father ted" or "just like rab c nesbitt" to love the way they say things enough to want to hear it again

By the way I wasn't comparing it to this... I was just adding to the conversation.

I used to go out with a Glaswegian who used to call me fagin that relationship didn't work out...

Kerala I posted early on in the thread that the the term 'Irish twins' is used in Ireland by Irish people.
My cousin had them and refers to them as such.
I don't know anybody offended by the term in real life ( as opposed to Mumsnetters)

I do know people that would be offended (Irish). There are some on this thread. Whatever - just if you are someone who hates to offend and are genuinely unaware this might offend some people (like the op actually) it's worth knowing that's all so you can factor that in before using it.

Think we've all said things and not realised how they might be received (recalling cringeworthy conversation with my mother as a teen gently telling me twat is not the same as twit )

Hang on, are "Essex girls" (what is that?- a girl from Essex I am presuming?) and "glesga kiss" Irish phrases? I've heard of glesga kiss as being a Head butt but I didn't know it originated in Ireland. Off to google Essex girls.

Wow at Essex girl! what a nasty term to use about anyone!

Kerala I posted early on in the thread that the the term 'Irish twins' is used in Ireland by Irish people

You can say it all you like, but lots of us are Irish, in Ireland, and are saying that we don't say it, wouldn't say it, don't know other people who say it, and don't really like hearing it.

So you can hang on to the "Its ok cos my cousin said its fine" but you're not convincing anyone!

I am Irish, of Irish parents, of Irish grandparents. I never heard that expression anywhere except the UK used sneeringly by people trying to imply the Irish were stupid, backwards, ruled by religion and unable to use contraception.
I would tell anyone I heard using it the implications of the expression.

They are overreacting. Also they shouldn't have been going on at you about when you'll have a baby..IMO

But saying the above as I wouldn't have a clue what it meant and it sounds like you didn't know full connotation's. Apologise, admit this, lay low for while.

Perhaps also,they are v.tired with new baby, so overreacting....

Haha one did you google it like I did with irish twins :)

And for people who think there are no derogatory terms relating to English people here is the Oxford English Dictionary definition of Essex girl:

[British derogatory] a contemptuous term applied (usually jocularly) to a type of young woman, supposedly to be found in and around Essex, and variously characterized as unintelligent, promiscuous, and materialistic.

"

Yeah but thats English people slagging English people, isn't it? Not really the same thing.

I do't know who "coined the phrase" and have heard a scottish person use it ( not about me thank god) it was used in england by many and many found it offensive.

That is my point. We don't know who coined the irish twins phrase. I lived in England for ages and had to google it. Some english people use it, some irish people use it, many people find it offensive.

When I say some english people use it, it clearly hasn't been used enough to make it to the dictionary

Irish and not offended... I hear the phrase a lot.

One thing I did notice recently on mumsnet in the baby names forum was that a lot of Irish boys names were dismissed as "chavvy" or bad boys names....names that are completely normal over here like Conor or Liam.

urbandictionary:

Irish Twins
The roots of the idea behind the term are actually quite old, although no one knows when, exactly, people first began to talk about Irish twins. In both England and the United States, a massive influx of Irish immigration in the 1800s led to a negative connotation with Irish people and society. This often happens when a large immigrant group begins to settle in mass numbers in a new country. The Irish were accused of being backwards and uncultured, and it was assumed that they were uneducated, dirty, and a general pox on society. As a result, the use of the word “Irish” began to be pejorative.

A number of derogatory terms incorporating stereotypes about the Irish began to emerge, including “Irish confetti” for thrown bricks and “Irish kiss” for a slap. Irish twins fits into this vernacular, and is actually insulting on multiple levels.

Firstly, the term pokes fun at the stereotypical fertility of Irish Catholic families, which traditionally do not use birth control. In addition, it implies that the Irish lack the ability to plan ahead or control themselves, having children in quick succession rather than responsibly spacing them. Finally, it suggests that the Irish do not understand the medical definition of twins, which involves two children conceived and born together.

I like both of those names. I have just been on a thread about baby names and some people were a bit funny on there. To be fair it was a very unusual name and looked like a misspelled scottish island. If they spelled it correctly it wouldn't have been bad.

That is "urban dictionary" and while I accept there were awful prejudices in times gone by and possibly even in present days although I have not been present st the time. It is i am sure the authors assumption who coined that particular phrase. I could assume it was americans, but it could have been english people or even irish people themselves.

www.verywell.com/irish-twins-meaning-2447174

en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Irish_twin

www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-iri1.htm

www.gotknowhow.com/answers/how-did-the-term-irish-twins-originate

Nice try "the Irish might have invented a term themselves that was rude and derogatory"....why would we when we had so many thrown at us?